Time To Say Goodbye

Addicted to Recovery: The Interactive Memoir

My grandfather passed away, and I was useless. I didn’t go to the hospital in his last few weeks. Hospitals really bummed me out. I mean I was fragile. God forbid I carry any extra emotional weight. I checked out. I did nothing but try to drink less, feeling terribly burdened by this sacrifice, and that was all I could summon.

I couldn’t handle complex emotions, my own or others’, without alcohol. However, WITH alcohol I ran the risk of completely mishandling those emotions. I spent all my focus on trying to drink 'just enough.' I even told I was drinking FOR my mother’s sake, like, she had enough to deal with, her father’s passing and siblings bickering, without dealing with what a wreck I would be if I wasn’t drinking. It was compassionate intoxication.
Also, what are the RIGHT reasons and the WRONG reasons for quitting drinking, drugs, or any destructive pattern of behaviour? Do you have to do it 'for yourself?' People talk about ‘wrong reasons’ to go to treatment like it’s a season of Bachelor in Paradise and you’re trying to get instagram followers. I believe there is no wrong reason to GET sober or make the first step in changing your life. Reasons to STAY sober or integrate those changes can be worked out on the way.
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Thanks to Bensound.com for the intro and outro music
Here is a list of suicide crisis hotlines by country:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
Here are links to support groups with an online presence that can be vital in recovery:
For a comprehensive list of 12 Step Meetings:
https://12step.org/social/online-meetings
Smart Recovery:
https://www.smartrecovery.org/community
Refuge Recovery
https://www.refugerecovery.org

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