Karin Ford: Seeking Gratitude and Happiness After 2 Plane Crash Losses

Stories of Hope in Hard Times

Episode Discussion Points

• She was born during WWII in Czechoslovakia, and her family escaped to Denmark
• She immigrated to the United States alone as a 19-year-old
• A year after she came to California she married her husband and began to mother his two children.
• They eventually had 4 more children.
• The day that changed everything when her husband’s airplane went down and he died along with her two little children.
• As she felt like she was going to fall apart she chose to hold it together for her son, and felt enveloped in a cocoon of love by God
• The night she felt like the Savior was holding her heart in His hands, and often dragging her along when she didn’t feel she could go any further.
• A second tragedy occurred five years ago when her son and grandson died in another plane crash.
• The hardest part of this loss was the empathetic grief she had for her daughter-in-law and grandchildren who were left.
• Karin changed her perspective from thinking of her son and grandson lying on the ocean floor to thinking about them in heaven.
• You have to process the past and then choose to move forward
• Karin did marry again 4 1/2 years after her husband passed, and they have made a new life together.

Lessons from Grief

• It comes in waves—its not constant, but when the waves hit you are completely inundated and pummeled in the surf.
• Hang on tight to God through prayer and scripture study through the rough times—and cling to faith, because sometimes it is all you have left.
• If you aren’t going to see a counselor, have at least 5 good friends who will listen to you without judgment as you go through grief.
• You can also process grief by writing it out, like Karin did when she wrote her book, Be Still.
• The day she chose to stay in bed and wallow in her misery she found it was so much worse, and she had to get up.
• Focus on what you still have and count your blessings
• How she considered suicide, but couldn’t leave her two other kids—so she stayed for them.
• Try to find and do things that make you feel happy again. For her this was taking her boys water skiing, had friends over, visited family etc.
• When you feel like you are in the dark tunnel of grief, just keep walking toward the pinprick of light in the distance. You will get through to the other side and find a new and different but good life there.
• In her darkest moments she remembered she hadn’t suffered like Christ and He understood and carried her.
• As she read books on grief she learned she could control her thoughts. If a negative thought came onto the stage in her mind she could dismiss it and replace it with a positive thought.
• Happiness will come again eventually if you want it and let it.
• “You don’t get over it. You get through it.”
• Loss is like a giant shadow that hovers around you for a long time—let the Savior help you and carry that heaviness.

Resources for Those Who are Grieving

• “Living with Death and Dying” or “On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss” by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
• “A Grief Observed,” by C.S. Lewis
• “Tragedy or Destiny” by Spencer W. Kimball, or you can listen to the talk here.
• Karin’s book, “Be Still.”

Connect with Karin

• On Facebook as Karin L Ford

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Transcription

You can find the transcription of today's episode here: https://www.tamarakanderson.com/podcasts/karin-ford-seeking-gratitude-and-happiness-after-2-plane-crash-losses