Ep.40 Hedge Trimmers

The Chicken Mind Nuggets's Podcast

Chicken Mind Nuggets.

Hosted by Wifey

Chickenmindnuggets.com

[e-mail]

@mindchicken

References for this episode

Introduction music graciously provided by

Music from https://filmmusic.io
"Thinking Music" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Show script: (may differ slightly from spoken word)

Hello Everyone!
I’m sorry for my long absence. It has been a while since I felt motivated to do some podcasting, and it’s not because of my podcast, it’s because I have been dealing with a heavyweight from work. There is a continuous situation where I am being targeted for following the rule book, and I’m being targeted because it makes the people who are not doing what they are supposed to, look bad. This has led to coming into work every day, being uncomfortable, being belittled, and having my senior techs continuously talk down to me. I’m not someone who gets angry, so I have calmly approached them and tried to have a level conversation about procedures. This approach has not met with a welcome dialogue, instead, it has met with dismissal of my work ethic, and I had a breaking point. I am on a mental health break from work and I am actively looking for a new job. I have been with this company for 10 years, and it is time for me to look for new paths. I hope you didn’t feel like I let you down, I never left podcasting, I just needed a break from the everyday stress that I was bringing home. This mental health break has helped me to re-balance and be the person I want to be to the world. So with that said, Chicken Mind Nuggets is back on its normal schedule, and to start, I would like to share a hilarious true story that I’m sure you’ll love.

I was going through a dry spell and haven’t had sex in a while. My future husband was still in Virginia and I was in Arizona working and building my tiny house. During this dry spell, I didn’t shave, because I didn’t feel like I needed to. It was just me and my own company, so what did it matter if the hedges were overgrowing a little bit? My ancestry is Eastern European, British, and Indian. I have red/brown hair, but very dark and thick body hair. I got laser hair removal on parts of my body including my bikini line, but at the dry spell point of my life, I was out-grown and in my full glory.

Now, at this time when I was building tiny house, there were not a lot of resources or help when it came to equipment, appliances, techniques, or really anything. Tiny houses were a new thing, and no one really new how to cater to the market for them yet. There was wood, and there were windows, portable AC’s, and spray foam, but how do you customize it and put it all together to meet a very different set of dimensions? It was not easy. And for the life of me, I could not find a kitchen sink.

So I came up with an idea in my brilliant mind to look for a heavy duty planter that I can drill a hole in and make it work. Maybe there will be something better in the future if tiny houses become popular (little did I know), but if not, fuck it, I’ll wash my dishes in a pot. So I decide to put on some clothes and head to the Home Depot.

Now, when you are a woman looking at electrical, plumbing, and construction at Home Depot, it can catch people off guard. I wish it didn’t, believe me, one of the frustrating parts about building my house was constantly being talked down to by men who thought what I was doing was “cute.” Growing up with narcissistic parents, I really felt irked when someone invalidated my dream home. So I go to the Home Depot on my scooter because I didn’t have my truck at the time, and I go looking for a sink. There was a really nice older gentleman who came up to me and was trying to be helpful. Then there was another one, and another one. Too many older gentlemen being very nice….my spidey senses were up. I felt weird about being there, but played nice and thanked them for their help and I left with a planter than I tied to my scooter and made it back to my apartment.

And that’s when I realized the reason for their niceness. Remember I told you I didn’t shave? Well what I didn’t tell you is I didn’t wear underwear either. I went without underwear for a couple of years, and I didn’t care if I put on a pair of jeans and my giblets had the close company of some think denim. Fuck, it was freeing, no undies.

But that day, I go to take off my jeans and I realize that my full bush is hanging out of my zipper that I forgot to zip up. I mean, full bush. I should have went to the garden department and asked for hedge trimmers. This bitch was out and making a statement, my bush wanted everyone to know that this cookie has not seen action and this is the consequence of not maintaining the store even though it is closed.

Sooooo………I was ashamed lol. I was embarrassed, humiliated, and shook, but I laughed, I laughed my ass off. What else was I going to do? It was a story for the books, and it lives rent-free in my head.

So here you go, I have shared one of my most embarrassing stories with you all, and I proudly claim it. Hopefully this eases your mind for any embarrassing thing you have done because whether my story is worse or not as bad as yours, getting it out into the open significantly lessens the weight on it. In my head, it’s a shameful, embarrassing story. To the world, it’s a laugh, and laughter is something we all need more of. So your welcome if I made your day, or made you smile. I hope you get the courage to tell your stories, because to the right trusting people, they will unknowingly take a load of its weight.

If you have enjoyed this podcast, please follow me on twitter @mindchicken, Instagram at chickenmindnuggets, or leave a review on iTunes, listen to anywhere you listen to podcasts, or visit chickenmindnuggets.com