129. How Can I Trust a God Who Let My Son Die? Navigating Faith After Miscarriage & Infant Loss with Vaneetha Risner

The Joyful Mourning - A Podcast for Women Who Have Experienced Pregnancy or Infant Loss

This week I have the privilege of interviewing Vaneetha Risner -- a woman who has walked through an incredible amount of pain in her life, experienced loss and suffering and yet joyfully says ‘God does not make mistakes.” During our time together Vaneetha shares the story of her son Paul and what her relationship with God looked like after his death.

We talk about asking God all the ‘why’ questions, why me, why him, why this way? We talk about whether it’s ok for Christians to ask God why. We talk about navigating feelings of guilt that come after a baby dies as we relive all the things we could have done differently that would have resulted in our baby living. We talk about what it means to lament, this word we see in the Bible but don’t hear very often -- what it means and what it looked like in Vaneetha’s life. We talk about what it feels like when God is blessing everyone around you -- does that mean you did something to deserve this or does God love those other people who have not experienced loss more? We discuss the question, where is God in all this, did He cause it? Is He still good? Could He have stopped it and chose not to? Does that make Him a cruel God?

We talk about all these spiritual faith questions and more -- if you have been wrestling with similar questions or wondering where God is in all of this, you are going to love this episode and you are going to love Vaneetha.

Remember the truths we are sharing here are not from a pious mountain top where everything has gone perfect -- no these truths, the answers and thoughts shared here are from two women who have experienced both pregnancy and infant loss. Vaneetha has endured an incredible amount of suffering and still says, God does not make mistakes.

Also, it’s ok if you aren’t there yet. If you aren’t able to say those words. God isn’t angry or disappointed with you -- He loves you. He will never leave you. No matter where you are on your faith journey amidst grief, I pray this episode would remind you of God’s great love for you, give you the freedom to lament, to sit in your grief, and to cry out to Him with your pain.

Vaneetha is the author of the book Walking through Fire which I reference throughout our time together -- in this memoir she tells her story in depth and I highly recommend picking up a copy. It was the first book I’ve read in a long time that I couldn’t put down. Her story-telling and honesty is powerful and hope filled. Walking Through Fire, by Vaneetha Risner.

FREE DEVOTIONAL Lastly, we have a free 7 day devotional that I would love to share with you. You can find that and a few other resources about navigating the christian faith after the loss of a baby over themorning.com/hope.

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode129