The most powerful human need is to be seen and heard. We want to be know that matter. In this episode I explore the impact of not being seen or heard in our lives. The lack of having that type of acknowledgment in our life comes with a variety of consequences, including losing trust in our inclinations and our intuitive needs. I discuss a variety a…

This episode is a result of the thought I had while watching the documentary called Dynasty. It’s about the New England Patriots and in particular the focus on Bill Belichick and Tom Brady and how he came to be the Patriots quarterback. As Fate would have hit a huge hit on the starter at the time, Drew Bledsoe opened the door for Brady to get his o…

In this episode I tackle the topic of relationships. It’s Valentines Day so I assume everyone is thinking about their relationships and how they want them to improve! With 20 years of experience in the field and seeing thousands of couples I thought to myself, I should know what are essential components to a successful relationship. Sit back, take …

In this episode I break down the concept of mental load. It refers to the invisible burden that is associated with the effort involved in managing your work, relationships, family and household. This is typically associated with woman in a relationship. There are 4 parts to the mental load: anticipate, identify, decide, and monitor. Education and a…

In this episode I update everyone on what I have been up to and what things have been going on in my life since the last episode.My focus is on the value of time. As we approach this new year how do we want to utilize our time for effectively. Time is the stuff life is made of and our use of it determines many things things in our life.I leave you …

In this episode Ryan dives into part 2 of 2. This episode will focus more on the Defense Mechanisms we use to keep us "safe" or to keep us feeling more hurt or pain in our lives. "Most of us do not reenact the experience of the trauma itself. Instead we act out the coping strategy (or defense mechanism) we evolved to deal with the trauma. Ryan will…

In this episode Ryan breaks down the first of a two part episode. The focus for the first episode will be on Triggers. The word trigger itself has become a hot topic and according to MaryCatherine McDonald and her new book Unbroken, it has become a catchall for any occasion in which we have an emotion that is remotely unpleasant or unwanted. This m…

Just in time for Father's Day! In this episode I sit down with David Frey, who is currently a marriage researcher and coach for men who want to be better husbands in their relationships. David himself has been married for 33 years to Ingrid Frey. They met as missionaries in Bolivia and started dating in college. They adopted two children at birth. …

In this episode, I welcome in Kathy Moffat, who currently is a Relationship Coach. For this show though, she is hear to share her story about raising a child that has severe Mental Health issues. Kathy and I have been intertwined for 16 years now as we have worked together in helping her son. This was a very real and vulnerable conversation about t…

I am honored to celebrate my 100th episode with my special guest MaryCatherine McDonald, PhD. She is the author of the book Unbroken: The Trauma Response is Never Wrong. MC (as she goes by), is a research professor and life coach who has been researching, lecturing, and publishing on the neuroscience, psychology, and lived experience of trauma sinc…

In this episode I discuss the process of taking power back in our lives. There are a number of things in life that can take our power from us: trauma, people, and especially negative labels. When these things have taken us down and put us in a cage or we find ourselves feeling powerless or helpless to them, its time to take a stand and take our pow…

In this episode I sit down with my fellow colleague Lauren Schloss. Lauren is a Licensed Drug and Alcohol Counselor and CPC Intern. She has been practicing as a therapist for 10+ years. As a therapist Lauren has great perspective and specializes in working with individuals who struggle with addiction, trauma, low self-esteem, and depression. Over t…

In this episode, I discuss the details of a new book I have been reading by Terrance Real, called "US." It was a great follow up to my previous episode with my wife Sonia as we shared secrets to our successful 25 year marriage. In Real's Book he identifies a rhythm in relationship - Harmony, Disharmony, and Repair. This rhythm is cyclical and we mo…

In this episode I sit down with Dr. Randall Bell, who recently came out with the book Post-Traumatic Thriving. Dr. Bell has specialized in disaster recovery and has been involved in such events as the World Trade Center, Flight 93, Sandy Hook, Hurricane Katrina, OJ Simpson and Heavens gate to name a few. In his book he lays out the academic researc…

Dr. Anna Lembke received her undergraduate degree in Humanities from Yale University and her medical degree from Stanford University. She is currently Professor and Medical Director of Addiction Medicine, Stanford University School of Medicine. She is also Program Director of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Fellowship, and Chief of the Stanford Add…

In this episode I welcome in my guest September Frogley, she is the founder of Connection is the Cure. The goals of this foundation include: 1. Normalize and encourage ongoing conversations about mental health and suicide prevention, 2. Equip people with prevention strategies, 3. Connect people to resources in the community and each other! Septembe…

In this episode I tackle the topic of goal setting! There are a few key parts for a new way to set goals that I address in the episode. First, there are two types of motivation, "Want-to" and "Have-to" Motivation, the type you have will influence your overall success with achieving your goals! The main part of the episode is dedicated to having goa…

In this episode I approach the topic of Emotional Maturity. I really have connected with this concept because I think we can all use work in this area. Each of us have areas we can improve on when it comes to our emotional maturity. An emotional immature person will find it hard to communicate or process their emotions and can appear selfish or alo…

In this episode I continue the to discuss working with The Shadow. In particular I focus on the most common manifestation of the Shadow, the inferior shadow. I reference the book The Tools, by Stutz and Michels. Discussion includes why its so important to understand your shadow, how we become dependent on outside sources for approval and validation…

In this episode I tackle the topic of the Shadow Self. This concept was introduced early in Psychotherapy history by Carl Jung. The Shadow Self is the part of us we want to hide from the world. For some it is our dark side, others it may be a hurt or trauma they have experienced, it can also be a feeling of unworthiness or less than, or evan a beha…

In this episode I explore the concept of self-gaslighting. I found this to be a very interesting concept and wanted to do a show specifically about it. One reason I did this show was that I feel we all can relate in someway to having done this to ourselves. In the episode I break down 5 ways we may be self gaslighting. I also help identify people w…

In this episode I tackle the topic of comfort zones. Much of the episode is based on the book by Jordan Tarver, You Deserve This Shit. Our comfort zone can be both safe and toxic at the same time. Our evaluation of where we sit in that is needed constantly. Complacency is the obvious way we get stuck in our comfort zone, but even complacency has nu…

In this episode my guest Anita Monodu shares with us her 5 step process for helping clients live a shame free life! Those steps include sharing your story, manifesting who you want to be in life without shame and embodying and living a shameless life. A key component to letting go of shame through sharing our story first and foremost with ourselves…

In this episode I welcome Tony Overbay to the show. Tony is a fellow therapist and podcaster, he host the Virtual Couch and Waking up to Narcissism podcasts. In addition he offers his Magnetic Marriage course to couples. We discuss pitfalls couples fall into and Tony talks about his 4 pillars of communication. While discussing his pillars we also b…

This episode is taken from a presentation I gave to a group of couples at church. I was invited to speak on strengthening our marriages/relationships. I talk about 5 things we can do to improve our relationships. Topics include: Intimacy, Goals, Caring, Expressing Love, and Expectations. I hope you enjoy! Follow me on Instagram @thevegastherapist o…

In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month. In this episode I will discuss 5 things we can do to improve or maintain our mental health. Treat yourself with kindness, surround yourself with good people, learn how to deal with stress, set realistic goals, and get help when you need it. These will all be discussed, including the need to embrace our hum…

This is a tutorial video to help youth develop a more positive mindset in connection with sport performance. Things like dealing with failure and disappointment, positive mindset tools, understanding expectations and identity, and the development of your why will all be discussed. The principals and ideas shared can be utilized in a number of diffe…

In this episode I discuss what trauma responses can look like, some of which may surprise you! In an article written by Dr. Melissa DeBose Hankins she talks about the correlation between Will Smiths reactive response at the Academy Awards and his personal trauma, making the connection that what we saw ultimately was a trauma response. She makes a c…

In this episode I look at the benefits of seeing our survivor/story. There is a story in all of us and we need to honor that. Each of us had to overcome obstacles in our life, those challenges have given us strength and skill. Maintaining a victim mindset with our story keeps us stuck in our problems. Positive change is more likely to occur when we…

In this episode I “geek out” a bit over the topic of shame! Shame is a battle for each of us in some way! We all have our triggers for it and it tends to come from old core negative beliefs we have about ourselves. My hope for this episode is that we can all be better at managing our shame, rather than it control us. I discuss what our shame levera…

In this episode I share with you my presentation I gave at the Hope and Healing Workshop. The workshop was dedicated to mental health and addiction recovery. It was a great event with many wonderful presenters. The first part of the presentation contains some overlap from the last episode, the difference being I share more case examples. Then I tal…

In this episode I tackle the topic of Radical Honesty. It is the practice of telling the truth about things both large and small, especially when doing so exposes our flaws and entails consequences. The first part of the episode is spent discussing the consequences of lying and what it does to our psyche and self esteem. Then I talk about the 3 Ben…

In this episode I share an interview I did for another podcast called Nunn Talks. There was so many great things we talked about I wanted makes sure as many people as possible heard the content. Topics include how anxiety can create apathy, and why apathy can be a dangerous state for teens. We also talk about building resilience and personal compet…

In this episode I discuss a topic that is applicable to us all! Life Transitions, some are natural and some are thrust upon us. Either way we have to deal with them as they come. I personally have had several transitions this year: Moving, loss of a parent, 2 kids left home, and work transition. I discuss several ways we can improve our ability to …

In this episode I pay tribute to one of my favorite shows, Ted Lasso. I do so by breaking down a important episode on mental health. Season 2 focuses a great deal on mental health and the idea we all have stuff and the importance of working through our pain so that it does not control us! I focus on three things from the episode; Our stuff and the …

In this episode I sit down with Mequell Buck, she is an author, speaker, suicide survivor, and hosts a Podcast with her husband Adam. The podcast is called Thriving with Mental Illness. Mequell shares her story of dealing her mental illness (bipolar II diagnosis). We talk about the process for her to get healthy, what was helpful and not helpful fo…

In this episode I tackle the topic of gaslighting. This tactic is something we have most likely all experienced whether we have recognized it as that or not. Gaslighting can occur in all types of relationships (parent/child, Boss/employee, and romantic). I discuss the signs to look for as well as the stages of Gaslighting in a relationship. The Gas…

In this episode I welcome back Theo Fleury. Theo is perhaps best known for his time on the ice. But off the rink, his life once carried the markings of a troubled childhood, abuse and coping with emotional pain through addictive and self-destructive behaviours.Today, Theo defines himself as a victor over trauma and addiction, and a facilitator to t…

In this episode I talk about Loss. I recently lost my mom, who battled cancer for 2.5 years. I just wanted to share my experiences I have had over the last few weeks about grief and loss. I know I am only in the early stages of grief but there are some important things that I learned that I think will benefit anyone else going through this. As a bo…

In this episode I tackle the topic of self doubt! This is something we all can relate to and have had to deal with at some level in our lives. Self doubt is the mental habit of questioning your own judgement and worth. There are different types of self doubt, including indecisiveness and the Imposter Syndrome that will be discussed. Self Doubt impa…

In this episode I welcome my guest Rachel Wherley to the show. She is better known and famous on Instagram as @thatlittlemom Rachel has mission to promote inclusion in her social media platform. She had to work towards inclusion most of her life and wants others to know not only her story, but how we can be more open as a society and help others fe…

In this episode I discuss of the question of Am I good Enough (especially in the eyes of others) can consume our entire way of living. This question is unmatched in its capacity to both motivate and shame the human spirit. The source of the good enough dilemma is scarcity. Scarcity as Brene Brown describes is the never enough problem. Scarcity thri…

In today’s episode I welcome in Heather Quisel to the show to talk about her life.Heather has been in the mindset and personal development space coaching business owners and entrepreneurs how to maximize their talents and increase profits through belief, focus, and disciplined actions.In one unexpected turn of events, her whole life changed...and s…

In this episode I sit down with entrepreneur and business owner Jared Fisher (Las Vegas Cyclery & Escape Adventures). He is an avid cyclist himself and recently finished biking coast to coast, San Diego to Saint Augustine Florida. Jared shares his adventure for life and desire to live in the moment. He takes us through his 5 reasons for going on th…

In this episode I sit down with the owner of Friendly Giant Films and Co Author of Million Dollar Story Nic Fitzgerald. Nic is an entrepreneur who has a business that helps other entrepreneurs tell their story to help sell their products and business. He is a master at bringing out the power of our story. Nic shares his own powerful story of follow…

In this episode I discuss how couples can take seemingly insignificant moments and turn them into powerful connecting opportunities! Due to the daily pressures of life time is a precious thing. Taking dull and mindless routines and transforming them into a source of connection and fun takes intentionality that we often lack in our approach with our…

In this episode I take on the topic of resilience. I will draw from Eric Greitens book called Resilience. This is the key to a well loved life. Without some sense of meaningful struggle in our lives, something inside of us begins to breakdown, a part of us begins to die. Resilience requires us to take responsibility for our response to life. Failur…

My guest Justin Su’a is the Mental Performance Coach for the Tampa Bay Rays. He has also worked for the Boston Red Sox and the Cleveland Browns. He is the author of Mentally Tough Teens and Parent Pep Talks, and is the host of the Increase Your Impact Podcast. In this episode we dive into the topic of mental toughness and flexibility. Justin talks …

In this episode I sit down with Dr. Spencer Holt, a friend and former Southern Albertan! Spencer is the head of commercial learning at AstraZeneca, he hosts his own Podcast; Small Things Make a Big Difference, and is a leadership coach. We discuss his recent article Journey to Awesome and how you can develop your own awesome. Principals such as pur…