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This Little Light of Mine is an LGBTQ+ tale of terror (growing up as a closeted Gay Christian in the Evangelical church) that led to trauma (cPTSD, religious trauma, spiritual abuse, sexual abuse, addiction) to what I intend to become triumph. Join me on my healing and recovery journey towards mental health, spiritual health and emotional health as I find my voice by sharing what happened in my life as a Queer Christian where I was taught that I was not allowed to love.
 
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Looking back, I can now describe my time in treatment as the most difficult, most exposed, and most rewarding time of my life. I started to pull the wool back from my eyes and began to see how my approach to 'strength' hurt me, hurt others around me, and nearly cost me my life. While in treatment I learned how many of my addictive behaviours and an…
 
Are evangelical churches safe spaces for 2SLGBTQ humans? How can a space that may be considered 'unsafe' transform into a welcoming and affirming space? Is it possible to create a safe space for all people? In today's episode, I'm joined with James Sholl, my personal friend and Senior Pastor of Wellspring Worship Centre in Toronto. James helps us e…
 
Christmas survival tips for LGBTQ Christians This year has been a doozie for so many of us. And if you're anything like me the holiday season usually amplifies any feelings of loneliness, disconnection, or otherness that I may have swirling around in my head. I know that I'm not alone on this one. For many Queer people of faith, the holiday season …
 
#religioustrauma #cultabuse #anatomyofrts Okay, so in this audio, I really want to explain the anatomy of religious trauma, if you will. And I call it the anatomy because this is something I learned and recreated off of the stuff I learned years ago with Marlene, why now when I was first understanding what was going on with me. And so I think this …
 
My private clients are struggling with the idea of family and holidays... In this short audio, I'm going to tell you how to handle the holidays with religious trauma, or when you're getting over it, or you're coming out of it, or wherever you're at on the journey of trauma healing. And I'm going to give you some very unconventional ways of dealing …
 
Hello and welcome to This Little Light of Mine, my name is James Powell and I'm so glad that you were able to join me for today's story episode entitled Rehab. In today's episode, I'm taking you on the road with me to Philadelphia where I'm about to check into the trauma-informed rehab facility where I will be living for the next 30 days. Parts of …
 
Hello and Welcome to This Little Light Of Mine, my name is James Powell and I'm really glad that you are able to join me for today's interview episode. Today I'm joined with David Laskovski who is joining our conversation on mental health and will be helping us delve a little deeper into the topic of suicide. David developed the HELP model, that pr…
 
Hello and welcome to This Little Light of Mine, my name is James Powell and I'm so glad that you were able to join me for today's story episode entitled Coming out again. In today's episode I walk you some of the uncomfortable yet necessary events that followed my big decision to JUMP! from S02E05. I'm putting my decision to attend an in-patient tr…
 
Welcome to Demystifying Religious Trauma Syndrome! Breaking away from religion can be a traumatic experience to say the least. Many people are left with deep emotional wounds that they struggle to understand. And it can be hard to step away when indoctrination repeatedly tells you it’s wrong or sinful to leave. The effects are often described as ex…
 
Part #2 Demystifying Religious Trauma Syndrome Breaking away from religion can be a traumatic experience to say the least. Many people are left with deep emotional wounds that they struggle to understand. And it can be hard to step away when indoctrination repeatedly tells you it’s wrong or sinful to leave. The effects are often described as extrem…
 
Part #3 Demystifying Religious Trauma Syndrome Breaking away from religion can be a traumatic experience to say the least. Many people are left with deep emotional wounds that they struggle to understand. And it can be hard to step away when indoctrination repeatedly tells you it’s wrong or sinful to leave. The effects are often described as extrem…
 
Part #1 Demystifying Religious Trauma Syndrome Breaking away from religion can be a traumatic experience to say the least. Many people are left with deep emotional wounds that they struggle to understand. And it can be hard to step away when indoctrination repeatedly tells you it’s wrong or sinful to leave. The effects are often described as extrem…
 
Part #4 Demystifying Religious Trauma Syndrome Breaking away from religion can be a traumatic experience to say the least. Many people are left with deep emotional wounds that they struggle to understand. And it can be hard to step away when indoctrination repeatedly tells you it’s wrong or sinful to leave. The effects are often described as extrem…
 
Part #6 Demystifying Religious Trauma Syndrome Breaking away from religion can be a traumatic experience to say the least. Many people are left with deep emotional wounds that they struggle to understand. And it can be hard to step away when indoctrination repeatedly tells you it’s wrong or sinful to leave. The effects are often described as extrem…
 
Part #5 Demystifying Religious Trauma Syndrome Breaking away from religion can be a traumatic experience to say the least. Many people are left with deep emotional wounds that they struggle to understand. And it can be hard to step away when indoctrination repeatedly tells you it’s wrong or sinful to leave. The effects are often described as extrem…
 
I want to talk to you about how to start socialising yourself a bit more normally after you've left a really confined religion or cult. Socialising was one of the hardest things for me, I was homeschooled on a cattle ranch, you know, I only was allowed to have certain types of friends and family members around. No 'normal' music or TV, even my scho…
 
I'm going to give you the three fastest ways to leave your religion and stop cult hopping. This is obviously for those who feel completely dedicated to getting to know themselves, reclaiming who they are, deconstructing their old points of view, and obviously reinventing their whole lives. If you're someone who's still dabbling in religious ideals,…
 
As a child of the 90s, I was raised in what we call the purity movement that swept across the USA. Words like virginity, modesty, abstinence, purity. All these were common vernacular in our house. In fact, IF we ever talked about sex, the conversation was typically quite short, because it was based around abstinence and virginity. Women especially …
 
I'm going to tell you how you can cope with religious trauma syndrome in seven different areas of your life. I want you to remember this is just an overview, this is obviously not going into the depths of what is actually affecting you like we would do in a one on one situation. But this is at least going to give you a great overview to get started…
 
Let's talk about how Jesus made you OCD. Prayer is a totally normal part of religious upbringing, no matter what type of religion you're involved in. When you have been taught to obsess about right doing and not being enough it can keep you in an open-loop of consistently trying to be better all the time. And what it does is it opens you up to OCD …
 
In this podcast, I'll go over the TOP 12 symptoms of religious trauma and what religious trauma syndrome is. So pay attention! And please get a pen and paper handy because if you are dealing with this, I want to make sure that you have a chance to write down what your symptoms are so you can gain awareness around what's coming up for you and begin …
 
I'm joined with Bonnie Violet. Bonnie is a trans femme genderqueer spiritual drag artist, digital chaplain and host of 'A Queer Chaplin' and 'Splintered Grace' podcasts. In today's interview episode Bonnie and I will be talking about the recent Netflix conversation therapy documentary, titled 'Pray Away'. We'll be talking what we found, helpful, hu…
 
In today's story episode, I'm going to take you Peru where my friend Rob from OUT Adventures helped me to experience my own outer discovery adventure and inner journey for the soul. Going into this trip, I had everything on the OUTSIDE that I thought should make me happy, but I wasn't. I was in desperate need of an inner transformation. I needed to…
 
Hello and welcome to This Little Light Of Mine, my name is James Powell and I'm so glad that you are able to join me for the second part of my conversation with Dr. Mike Rosebush. If you haven't been introduced to Mike yet, I would encourage you to skip back to S02E03, Honey, I think I'm a homosexual. In today's episode Mike will share what happene…
 
Do you have any gay Christian role models or mentors? On today's episode, I'm joined with Dr. Mike Rosebush who describes himself as somewhat of a gay Christian Yoda. In this first part of our conversation, Mike will share how his wild journey of his 'most unusual gay Christian life' got started. In Part 1 of our conversation Mike talks about: grow…
 
I never considered that I might be surrounded by help. For most of my life I’ve been afraid to ask for help, because asking for help meant getting hurt. And as a kid I thought I was supposed to avoid getting hurt. What comes to your mind when the topic of 'asking for help' comes up? Is asking for help something that comes easy for you? Is asking fo…
 
By finding the courage to ask for the help I desperately needed I slowly started to understand that I wasn’t broken. I slowly started to understand that I was not alone. I slowly started to let go of holding onto the control that I thought was keeping me safe. I slowly started to understand that childhood trauma doesn’t simply disappear. Trauma mor…
 
Pride is an inner journey towards ownership of self. This isn’t just an LGBTQ2S+ journey, it’s a journey for everyone. Pride is a journey inward where you ask AND go inside to listen to the internal guidance system that you have been given. The journey inwards toward ownership of self and the outward evolution towards actual diversity and inclusion…
 
WARNING: content in this episode contains 1) explicit homophobic and transphobic beliefs, positioning, and scripting from Evangelical and Catholic Churches. 2) actual examples of conversion therapy sessions used against LGBTQ2S+ children. 3) politicians promoting the use of conversion therapy. Welcome to a special topic episode on our current fight…
 
Hello and welcome to Episode 29 of This Little Light Of Mine. My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for the final episode of season one! I can’t believe that it’s already been over a year since I first embarked on this soul-searching journey of healing, forgiveness, and recovery! In today’s final story episode for season …
 
Hello and welcome to Episode 28 of This Little Light Of Mine. My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for the second part of my interview with my parents. If you haven’t already listened to the first part of our conversation, I would encourage you to hop back one episode so that you have the chance to catch our full convers…
 
Hello and welcome to Episode 27 of This Little Light Of Mine. My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s interview episode. Families can be some of the most complicated relationships that we have. Adding elements of religion and queerness can be like adding fuel to an already roaring fire. On today’s episode I’m jo…
 
I always dreamed that there would be peace on the other side of the rainbow. I thought that once I was fully out to my family, there would be no more secrets, and everything would be good. I had always been so terrified and fixated on coming out to my family, that I never really looked beyond that point. The years that followed were some of the lon…
 
Hello and welcome to Episode 25 of This Little Light Of Mine. My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s interview episode, ‘Not defining’. On today’s episode I’m joined with orientation advocate Mark Smith and his wife Victoria. Mark runs a support site for anyone struggling with their orientation. He has an expan…
 
I sat in a chair facing my parents who sat on opposite ends of a sofa on the other side of the room. With one glance at my mom’s already watering eyes I knew that I was about to be devastated. My father started out with the words, ‘We have reasons to believe that you may be struggling with same-sex attraction’. This is the start of my toxic outing.…
 
On today’s episode I’m joined with author Marc-Henri Sendoz Paradella. Marc-Henri’s new book Toxic Jesus – A Journey from Holy Shit to Spiritual Healing is creating international acclaim in progressive Christian, deconstruction and religious trauma circles. Marc-Henri has a fascinating story of deep faith, questioning, deconstruction and reconstruc…
 
It’s 2021… we made it! Hello, and welcome Episode 22 of This Little Light Of Mine. My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s story episode, ‘Validate me’. It feels good to be here and to share more of an upbeat and lighter story episode with you today. And that’s what this episode is all about, validation and feel…
 
Wow... what a rollercoaster of year. As much as we love to pretend that we're in control of our lives, 2020 is definitely a year that proves that 'anything can happen'. It isn't hard to look back on 2020 and say THANK GOODNESS THAT'S OVER. But have you taken the opportunity to look at what you've learned about yourself in the past 12 months? How ha…
 
Well... it's Christmas Eve and we can finally see the finish line for 2020. What a strange year... did any of our futurists or experts predict this one? As we head into this break I wanted to put together a quick episode to share Holiday survival tips for LGBTQ2S+ Christians or for anyone who might have all the happy joyous feelings that we're 'sup…
 
Trauma is blocked emotional energy that is trapped inside of your body. You need to process it and you need to feel it. What I have learned is that when I repress and deny my feelings and my Knowing, I’m blocking my connection with God and I’m hurting myself… and I’m hurting others. At more than one point in my life I thought it would be easier to …
 
Hello and welcome to Episode 18 of This Little Light Of Mine. My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s episode, ‘Scapegoat’. Over the past few weeks on IG and Facebook @MyLightShinesBright our trauma topic of conversation has been around the concept of ‘The Scapegoat’. This is a relatively new term for me, and it…
 
Hello and welcome to Episode 17 of This Little Light Of Mine. My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s episode, ‘In the shadows’. Before we get started with today’s episode, I want to be very transparent that this is my first ‘explicit’ episode as this part of my story contains content that may trigger some survi…
 
Join Chad Rollo and I as we talk about deconstructing our faith and the importance of being in community with 'fellow travellers' as we journey this wild & windy (and often painful) road towards integrating our faith and sexuality after years of living behind a wall of shame & fear. Growing up so deeply entrenched in an evangelical church-based com…
 
In today's episode I share what it was like for me growing up in the 90’s evangelical church culture and share about one of my worst nightmares coming to life. And from the many stories, comments and messages that you have been sharing online through FB & IG it is very clear that this period in time wasn’t an easy, joy-filled or shame free period f…
 
Hello and welcome to Episode 14 of This Little Light Of Mine. My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s episode, ‘The shift’. In today’s episode I’m joined by best-selling author, podcaster, and PROGRESSIVE pastor Colby Martin. Colby is passionate about carving out a space within Christianity that includes: a whol…
 
In today’s episode ‘Gospel gaslighting’ I share where some of my emotional arrested development started. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgment, often evoking in them cognitive diss…
 
Hello and welcome to Episode 12 of This Little Light Of Mine. My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s episode, ‘I was wrong’. In today’s episode I’m joined with best-selling author, columnist, Anglican cleric and former nightly television and radio host, Michael Coren. Michael and I will be talking about his boo…
 
Were you ever taught that who you were was wrong, evil, sinful or less than? In today's episode, God hates figs? I’m taking another stroll down memory lane to share some of the messages that I learned around homosexuality as a young boy growing up in a fundamentalist church background. Maybe you’re not part of queer community, but perhaps you were …
 
Looking to create a healthy sex life on your own terms? Matthias Roberts, host of Queerology, therapist and author joins us to share some of his personal experiences with shame AND insights from his new book ‘Beyond Shame'. I really appreciate when a therapist, author and expert on ‘shame’ is able to walk the talk when it comes to vulnerability. Th…
 
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