Is there a difference between sobriety and recovery? Is recovery just a longer version of sobriety? In this episode of RecoverU Kylene and Patrick share their perspective on the differences between sobriety and recovery and the type of actions and behaviors it takes to move into a life of recovery, and ultimately freedom, after a life of sex or por…

Feeling stuck and not sure how to move forward? In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss choosing who you want to be so you don’t stay stuck in 2025. They provide five practical tips and actionable resources to help you align with your values and vision for the future. Their approach emphasizes digging deeper than surface-level goals, empower…

Do you feel discouraged in your recovery journey? We encourage you to take some time to reflect on the past year. Often, when we feel stuck or frustrated, if we compare where we are today to where we were 6 months ago, or a year ago, we have a better perspective of how far we've truly come! the end of the year offers us a natural point to review wh…

Do you and your partner feel LESS connected when things get busy? Do you notice that you have less time for each other and fewer conversations? Communication is a top priority during recovery and we want to encourage you to prioritize it MORE when you're busy, tired or stressed instead of less. When we get busy and communicate less, it becomes a br…

Are you a people pleaser? Saying NO is hard, and we can feel extra pressure around the holidays. In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick offer 3, succinct and specific ways to politely decline invitations if you need some extra down time for recovery. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, pleas…

Discovery is one of the most stressful experiences for both the sex/porn addict and the betrayed partner. Stress takes a significant toll on the body in this episode Kylene breaks down how stress impacts the body and 3 specific pillars of support we can bring in to support our mental and physical health through recovery. Kylene has some links below…

Are you a betrayed partner who has asked the question - how could my husband engage in such hurtful behaviors and still love me? If so, you're not alone! In this episode Kylene and Patrick talk about how this questions is really a form of communicating the pain that has been caused, the feelings of insecurity, the fear of comparison, and the reiter…

Are you stuck in an anxiety loop after betrayal? If so, you are NOT alone. Anxiety is one of the primary emotions that surface after discovering your husband is a sex or porn addict. Not sure if you feel anxious? In this episode Kylene and Patrick break down some signs and symptoms of anxiety, why safety is important, and how we can support our hea…

My husband CHEATED - so it's ok to be angry right? I'm so ANGRY and I just can't get over it. I will never get over it. I'm not allowed to be angry - it's a sin. Anger is a natural emotion and an important feeling to be respected and acknowledged. However, when left unchecked it can turn into bitterness and it can begin to take control of your life…

I can do this on my own! They hurt me, therefore I can hurt them. Porn isn't infidelity! In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick address these 3 lies. Both recovering addicts and betrayed partners can get caught up in these beliefs and it can dramatically impact long term healing. Let's shift these beliefs together to find deep, long lasting freedom…

Are you a recovering sex/porn addict who is frustrated that your spouse still has questions about your previous behavior? Or maybe you are a betrayed spouse who has brought up a trigger only to be replied to with "when will you get over this? Why is this still coming up for you?" All couples navigating recovery long for the day when they will never…

How can I connect more deeply with my partner - especially after betrayal? Communication is the foundation for life long intimacy and growth with your partner. AND it happens to be one of the top struggles most couples have. In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick suggest 4 questions to discuss with your partner to open conversation and to connect m…

INTIMACY? or sex? Are they the same? How can you reconnect intimately with your partner if they have hurt you in the past? For many partners, true intimacy (into -me-you-see) is first established through the recovery journey as they learn new skills for communication, trust, empathy and connection together. Intimacy requires safety and sex addictio…

What is empathy? At its core, it's the ability to understand someone else's experience and perspective. When a couple chooses to stay together, empathy is a critical skill for both individuals to learn. YES it's learnable! We must practice things that don't come naturally before they become second nature. In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick disc…

Betrayal HURTS and it feels overwhelming. Today, Kylene answers some of the most common questions a betrayed partner may have after discovering that her husband is a sex or porn addict. Questions like: Is it possible to heal and if so, HOW? What does the process of reconciliation look like? How long does recovery take? Can I speed it up? What do I …

Forgiveness after betrayal? What keeps us stuck from moving forward with forgiveness? In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick define forgiveness, discuss different types of forgiveness, and what might keep us stuck from moving forward with forgiveness. Is it always appropriate to forgive? Or is there a right time? Do I always have to tell the person…

Is it possible for GOOD to come from all the pain of sex addiction and betrayal trauma? Nick and Michelle Stumbo are examples of how good CAN come from the pain we have experienced. A former pastor and now head of Pure Desire ministries, Nick shares his personal story of transformation along with his wife Michelle who talks about what it was like b…

How do we navigate conversations about sex with our children? Whether you are a couple going through recovery after betrayal and sex addiction, or you are just parents trying to raise healthy kids, healthy sexuality is something they should learn about from you. But it's often a very uncomfortable topic for many of us and we just don't know how to …

What does it feel like to discover your husband is a sex/porn addict without any warning? How do you navigate those first few months? In today's episode, Patrick asks Kylene questions about her experience including: What was going through your head the first 2 weeks after discovery? What seemed to help the first few weeks/months? What behaviors fro…

Can a spouse recovery from betrayal? Can an addict recovery? Can we actually live healthy lives? These are some of the questions Kylene's client Katherine* experienced after discovering her husband was hiding a secret sex addiction. After doing some of their own work and then coming to Kylene for continued healing work, Katherine is here today to s…

HOW do I make a decision about my marriage after betrayal? I feel stuck? After we have experienced the pain of betrayal, it's normal to feel scared and overwhelmed. Kylene walks you through some things to think through as you work through this decision as she normalizes the ups and downs of the recovery and reconciliation process. If you are a betr…

Can I just read books, listen to podcasts, and navigate recovery by myself? Humans are designed for connection and community is often what helps us feel more grounded, more safe, more secure, and it even has positive benefits for our mental health. All things that ultimately benefit recovery whether you are a betrayed spouse recovering from the tra…

Betrayal is incredibly traumatic and painful. Recovery as an addict means feeling difficult emotions. When a couple commits to the process, will it ever be worth it? Today, Kylene and Patrick share some of the benefits they have experienced by really committing to recovery every step of the way and how facing your fears can ultimately provide some …

What does it look like to CHOOSE healing? What does it look like to express empathy to your partner? Patrick answers these questions and shares why choosing healing and expressing empath to your betrayed partner is important as part of your recovery journey. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching suppor…

Working through recovery as a sex or porn addict can feel overwhelming, especially at first. You might wonder, can I DO this? Can I ever be truly free? Today, Patrick shares 5 healthy mindsets to help you succeed through recovery! If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link an…

This is part 5 of a series where we share tools and resources to support you as you move from discovery, to sobriety, to recovery. These tools can be used to support anyone struggling with unwanted sexual behaviors, sex addiction, porn addiction, or other. In this episode we discuss how and why group support and 1:1 coaching or therapy is so helpfu…

Today is part 4, of a 5 part series on daily tools and resources to use to move from discovery, to sobriety, to recovery. These tools can be used to support anyone struggling with unwanted sexual behaviors, sex addiction, porn addiction, or other. In this episode we discuss the benefits of journaling, how it helps bring awareness to patterns, assis…

Today is part 3, of a 5 part series on daily tools and resources to use to move from discovery, to sobriety, to recovery. These tools can be used to support anyone struggling with unwanted sexual behaviors, sex addiction, porn addiction, or other. Many of these tools are created or inspired by Dr. Ted Roberts who created the Conquer Series which we…

Today is part 2, of a 5 part series on daily tools and resources to use to move from discovery, to sobriety, to recovery. These tools can be used to support anyone struggling with unwanted sexual behaviors, sex addiction, porn addiction, or other. Many of these tools are created or inspired by Dr. Ted Roberts who created the Conquer Series which we…

Today we begin a 5 part series on daily tools and resources to use to move from discovery, to sobriety, to recovery. These tools can be used to support anyone struggling with unwanted sexual behaviors, sex addiction, porn addiction, or other. In this episode we discuss technology blockers, a daily scales used to begin identifying sobriety risk and …

What is the step by step process to recovery? What if my husband isn't an addict but there has been some type of infidelity or porn use? How do we recover our relationship after betrayal? Today, Kylene and Patrick walk you through the exact steps they recommend couples and individuals take to begin the healing process whether or not it's an addicti…

Saying the words "I am a sex addict", or, "my husband is a sex addict" can feel like some of the scariest, most daunting words you will ever utter. Individuals and couples navigating this landscape carry a lot of shame and part of recovery is processing and working through that shame so that it's no longer something you have to carry with you. In t…

How do I know I I should stay in my relationship after discovering my husband is a sex or porn addict? Is it worth the effort? Deciding if you want to reconcile a relationship after betrayal takes time. In today's episode Kylene and Patrick share their thoughts on how to pursue a healthy life and things to think through when determining if a relati…

Today Kylene and Patrick share how certain coaching techniques and exercises have helped them in their own healing journey. Patrick also answers questions from betrayed partners from his perspective as a sex/porn addict in recovery including: When did you realize you truly had a problem? When did you realize you needed assistance from a professiona…

Today Patrick answers questions from betrayed partners from a recovery addicts perspective including: Is there any point where you think your betrayed partner could not worry about a slip or relapse anymore? What is it like when your spouse (the betrayed partner) questions you, especially in the beginning of discovery? Is the polygraph worth doing?…

Have you ever noticed that the addict parter feels great as soon as they get into sobriety but the betrayed partner feels horrible as they fall deeper into the trauma of betrayal? This is the dichotomy of healing and this is what Kylene and Patrick discuss in today's episode. It's a very real disconnect where one partner feels GREAT while the other…

Ever feel like you have a complicated brain? Do you feel frustrated with how it works? Kylene can relate. Todays episode is a personal episode where Kylene and Patrick share some recent life updates including her recent diagnosis with ADD, their trip to Greece, OCD, and how they have navigated these experiences together. If you are a betrayed partn…

What is parts work? And how does it impact my recovery journey? Parts work (alternatively called internal family systems) is an approach that helps individuals identify parts of themselves (whether they are positive or negative) with compassion. Parts work offers a safe way to communicate on a subconscious level so that we can help our parts behave…

Have you ever experienced intrusive thoughts? Do you feel guilty or like a bad person because you ruminate on things that go against your moral beliefs and you can't find a way out of this mental cycle? Lily Sais is a former school psychologist who now coaches people how to recover from OCD, anxiety, panic and intrusive thoughts to live a life fill…

Are you feeling stuck in your healing? Or maybe you are beginning to identify unhealthy patterns in your relationship as you navigate recovery and begin to dig more deeply into through patterns and emotions. In todays episode, Kylene and Patrick tackle 5 common lies that we are prone to believe and then share the TRUTHS that will set you free! 1. T…

Amanda Testa is a sex and relationship coach who also supported Kylene own her journey through recovery. In this episode Amanda shares her gentle, trauma informed approach to support individuals through their uncomfortable relationships with sex and sexuality. Connect with Amanda at www.amandatesta.com Podcast: www.amandatesta.com/podcast/ Free Gif…

Is the idea of sex after betrayal scary? Or does sex feel ok, but looking into each others eyes feels to scary or intimate? Sex is a topic that is bound to come up when a couple is working through reconciliation and recovery from sex/porn addiction and betrayal trauma. In today's episode Kylene and Patrick vulnerably share their own story fore-esta…

What does sex after betrayal and sex/porn addiction look like? There are so many things to consider as a couple navigating recovery and reconciliation and when you are addressing sex and porn addiction the topic of sex and intimacy is bound to come up! In todays episode, Kylene and Patrick break down some thoughts, recommendations and things to con…

How will I ever be able to trust again after my partner lied and manipulated to the point where I had no idea? Kylene and Patrick discuss what intakes to re-establish trust after betrayal and cover topics like honesty, consistency, disclosure, and both individuals committing to and investing in their own healing work. If you are a betrayed partner …

Does sex addiction mean they are a sex offender? Will he cheat again? Is he a horrible person? Many friends and family members struggle understand what sex addiction is, and how they can support a family member who is choosing recovery. This episode is designed to be sent to friends and family who want to learn more about the reality of addiction a…

We often don't understand something until we have hands on experience. With betrayal trauma, kind, loving family members and friends may not fully understand the depth of. the paint betrayed partner is feeling. Or, they may have an idea of the level of pain experienced, but not really know how to support them effectively. This episode is designed t…

Navigating holidays, romantic dates, and really any significant date or experience the first year of recovery can be so tough. How can we navigate romantic holidays and especially valentines day and anniversaries is a common question you might be facing. In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick offer 3 suggestions for ways you might choose to celebra…

What is my responsibility as the betrayed partner and as a believer to confront my husband about his porn use?This is a question Kylene received in her RecoverU Facebook group for betrayed partners.Patrick and Kylene answer this questions and Patrick shares his perspective about hitting the 3 year in recovery milestone. Resources from todays episod…

How do I know when to stay or when to go? Is divorce the end of the world? Should I reconcile with my partner? How do I know what the "right" decision is? In today's episode Kylene shares her personal story as two examples of when divorce was absolutely healthy and why, and when reconciliation was healthy and why. She hopes that by sharing her pers…

Can I trust someone who has cheated on me? Honesty is one of the biggest sticking points for a betrayed partner - its absolutely necessary in order to rebuild trust and safety in a relationship. Honesty requires personal conviction order to "stick". Someone has to personally believe and accept that it's really important in order to change their beh…