Bonus ep of Zero Doinks as the Illini march into Boston for their first Sweet 16 appearance in nearly 20 years. Will Bill Doinks be there in the flesh to witness a potential run to the Final 4? Odds are decent. Plus Dan Doinks pops his head in from Florida to give his take on the Justin Fields trade and the Bears current state of being all the way …

We are sitting here, as free agency is beyond hot, waiting for a big move from Ryan Poles and the Bears. Depth is great (that's what she said) but where is the star power? It's time, Bears. Wow us. Also, does anyone want Justin Fields? Are we still Team Caleb? Plus, March Madness is just around the corner. Thank you for hanging with us for SIX SEAS…

We didn't die, we just needed time to digest the reality that the Flus is back. At least there's a new offensive playcaller in the house now in Shane Waldron, and at least he has had success in the league. But what's the plan for 2024 and beyond? We look at how free agency could shape Ryan Poles's options in the draft and we finally pick a QB lane,…

Incredibly, the Bears land the number one pick for the second-straight year thanks to the 20/20 vision of GM Ryan Poles. Is Poles going to ride with Matt Eberflus, Luke Getsy and Justin Fields in 2024? Or will the opportunity to clean house be too enticing? Perhaps Week 18 at Green Bay, with a chance to ruin their season, will carry some weight one…

Well, that weekend of football was quite disheartening. We try and find words that make us feel better about the present while keeping an eye on the near and long future. We also try and figure out what Tiny Tim's deal is. Plus tons more. Thanks for listening, it's still worth it we think. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com…

This is an absolute squirrely one, though we mix in actual Bears talk. The Bears are actually giving us hope and a vision for what they can develop into. They somehow find themselves one game out of the wild card yet still would be drafting fifth (and first, thanks Carolina) if the season were to end today. Dan and Bill are jazzed for what is going…

The Bears had the week off but the NFL rolled on, with most local fans focusing on the Panthers continued cold streak, inching us all closer to the No 1 pick in 2024. People are getting nervous about Jordan Love possibly being really good? Dan returns to the lab this week, as does Rick Feelsmen with his hot hot picks. Bill pays his #hat game debt t…

That was a Matt Eberflus masterclass, wasn't it? Are we done with him? I think we're done with him. Justin Fields and the Bears looked pretty good against Super Bowl contender Detroit until that smug bastard had to make some difficult changes. Bill Doinks talks all about it today because Dan is away from the show for holiday reasons this week. Enjo…

We are hopeful that Justin Fields will be back this week because we are sick of watching Tyson Bagent play (no offense). Dan might have severe diarrhea this episode so stay tuned if that backfires at some point. We wonder about the bedroom activities of the Muppets and their puppeters. Plus much more. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters…

Dan and Bill do not link up "live" for this episode but we bring you all sorts of audio nuggets to get you oh so hyped for Bears-Panthers. We're getting a little concerned that the Bears are never going to play Justin Fields ever again. Thank you to Rick Feelsmen and Greasetank Frank for your contributions this week. --- Send in a voice message: ht…

Tyson Bagent and the Bears came back to earth on Sunday night against the Chargers but that feels like years ago. We focus more on the acquisition of Montez Sweat from Washington and one of us is very confused about the timing and logic behind it. Plus tons more, including fingering the coach de jour to replace Matt Eberflus as well as another rive…

The Bears, shockingly, have won two of three, this time coming behind a solid performance by rookie QB Tyson Bagent. Can the Bears make it three of four this Sunday night against the Chargers? Vegas says no. We say .... ? Plus the debut of our coaching segment within a segment, the return of Keep An Eye on Dan, a fresh tune plus tons of surprises a…

With Justin Fields now having a busted right thumb, what more is there to even talk about for the 1-5 Bears? So we decided to not talk too much Bears. Enjoy, maybe? 0:00 - 02:51 - Apologies to Cowboy Junkies. 02:51 - 03:45 - What's on tap tonight? 03:45 - 29:06 - Bears-Vikings Review. Fields is hurt. Bagent is whatever. Do we need to start looking …

After nearly a full calendar year of losses, the Bears have finally won a football game and the boys of Zero Doinks don't know what to do with themselves. Is this sustainable? Did Dick Butkus have to die for our sins? We discuss the beauty in Washington and look ahead to the Vikings coming to town on Sunday for what could lead to an actual winning …

I mean, how in the world did the Bears blow that one? Still curious where the next win will come from as a short week awaits this Thursday at a decent Washington squad, led by Jan 6th mastermind in DC Jack Del Rio. This episode is a weird one, apologies in advance. Hope, at the least, you enjoy the intro song courtesy of Doctor Dan Doinks and Daugh…

The sun hasn't come out yet this week as we were reminded that the Bears are a football team that continues to rip out our soul, week after week, year after year. Is there any hope for any of us, being that it's only going into Week 4 of the 2023 season? What are we even hoping for at this point? Is JF1 ruined completely? Is anyone worth keeping ar…

As Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs await our 0-2 Bears, some tough questions have to be pondered. One of us is ready to take a stand on something, one of us is not. We do not spend too much time on the Bucs game and instead move onto the next opponent who we hope to god the Bears can actually hang with and not embarrass the whole fandom for once. Lo…

As much as we'd love to ignore the Bears-Packers Week 1 game, and whatever Luke Getsy drew up after months of preperation, we'll talk about it, but we'll focus more on our experience regarding the joint-smoking professional chef next to us at the tailgate, and other observations. After another contest of 'Keep An Eye on Dan," focus switches quickly…

The excuses are over, Rodgers no longer can hurt us, it is time for the Bears and Packers to switch roles after 14 years of beatings. Week 1 is finally here and our pants are involuntarily flying off our bodies thinking about what the trajectory of this team could be once they get rolling. Come with us for the ride. 00:00 - 02:45 - Compliments and …

A mixed bag for the Bears this preseason as they head into Saturday's finale against Buffalo. Two straight years of preseason injuries on the offensive line, including the recurring theme of a ding-y Teven Jenkins, leading us to wonder what's next? Roster cut down date is a week away and the Bears find themselves with a good problem to have at Edge…

The Bears finally have a dude that eats quarterbacks in Yannick Ngakoue. Took long enough but hey, it's only August. Real fake games are coming and we're here to ignore most of it. Are the Bears all the way back? Our yearly ritual of justifying The Athletic's QB Tiers article has arrived. How much are we pretending to not care about what's happenin…

It's been so long since our last episode and we missed you so much. The Bears are mere days from getting back together to start their climb out of the NFL basement. Justin Fields had a football camp today that Bill's son went to and wow, you have to hear the inside scoop that was learned. Will Fields merely answer some doubts this season or will he…

The 2023 Bears schedule came out tonight and as best as Dan and Bill Doinks can tell, there are no losses here. Is this the year Chicago rises in the NFC North? They have an old rival with a new signal-caller coming to town on September 10th to kick off the undefeated season. Bill and Dan both missed the schedule release show and are going through …

The 2023 NFL draft is over and the Bears made out pretty well, wouldn't you say? 10 freshly-plucked lads, featuring a giant of a man in OT Darnell Wright. We dive deep as only we can, matching each new player with the perfect comp for you to consider. How did divisional rivals Green Bay, Detroit and Minnesota fare? And what's next for our boys in n…

Draft week is finally here. The boys of Zero Doinks cannot stand mock drafts, as you may or may not know, but in order to understand the want to do such things, one must at some point participate. Dan and Bill go through the Bears picks as if they're a drunk Ryan Poles and the results are .... not amazing. Who do we want the Bears to actually take?…

Season five of Zero Doinks is underway and the Bears are so back. We dive into the huge trade of the number one pick to Carolina for a haul that includes WR DJ Moore. Should we apologize for our level of arousal? What do we want to see at pick nine, now? SO many picks. But that's not even the news of the day, now that free agency is wet and wild an…

These 20 minutes will tell you all you need to know about the boys of Zero Doinks and their special guests. You will hear the voices and inappropriate nature of Dan and Bill Doinks plus Rick Feelsmen, Coach Cuse, Greasetank Frank and Darren from Dublin. Enjoy the best moments from all 32 episodes of Season 4 of Zero Doinks.--- Send in a voice messa…

The NFL season has come to an end and so shall Season 4 of Zero Doinks, but not before an explosive season finale. Rick Feelsmen and Coach Cuse join Dan and Bill Doinks in a special subterranean location in the suburbs of Chicago and a lot of ground is covered and Hamm's are consumed. Will additional special guests adorn your ears? A new musical tu…

Could Week 18 have gone any better? Bears end up with the #1 pick of the 2023 draft thanks to Lovie Smith's Texans stunning win over Indy. The Packers lose a shocker at home to Detroit to knock them out of the playoffs, while the Lions have to watch Seattle sneak into the number one seed thanks to a tiebreaker. The regular season is over, thank the…

One (pointless?) game to go this weekend against the Vikings. To play Fields or to sit him out, that's one of the questions on our mind. We don't really acknowledge the Lions game because who cares. We, along with Bears Nation, are huge Lovie Smith fans this weekend as the Texans can gift wrap the top pick to Chicago, assuming the Bears don't light…

After a loss to Josh Allen and the Bills, coupled with a Lovie Smith Texans W, with two games left the Bears are half a game out of a shot at the number one pick in the 2023 NFL draft. First, Dan Campbell and his considerable body awaits JF1 and the hapless Bears. We'll chat about things, including Pinocchio (again), our declining numbers in India,…

Justin Fields more than held his own against the 13-1 Philadelphia Eagles, throwing to a WR group who should probably not be in the league. He is and always has been the chosen one. Is there a button to sim to the end of the season? We'd like to press it. Alas, Josh Allen is coming to town on Christmas Eve to shove all sorts of things into and arou…

The boys are well-rested after a bye week and they only have a few words to say about the latest Bears-Packers game. Dan flip flops for the first time regarding how the 2023 NFL Draft board is shaping up, which is shocking as a "not a big mock draft" guy. Jalen Hurts and the Eagles visit this weekend which gives us all a glimpse as to what Justin F…

Lots of surprises this episode as the boys do a little reversal of roles from time to time. Did the Jets game really happen? One of the boys might need to game explained to him, we shall see. Aaron Rodgers seems to be being chased out of GB by Packers' fans - will this be the last time he suits up at Soldier Field? Feel like we asked that same ques…

Welp, the homecoming to Georgia didn't quite go as planned for Justin Fields as he left with another loss and a painful left shoulder. Will he play this week? This year? Should he? Are we going to watch Bears-Jets if he isn't playing? So many questions this episode, including "Does Zero Doinks have a Wikipedia page and if not, why not?" The highlig…

Justin Fields was magic again last week versus Detroit but he can't play defense or special teams for the boys. Who really cares (besides Dan Wiederer), though, as this year continues to be about JF1's development, yes? Dan walks us through the streets of Atlanta which await a homecoming for native Georgian Justin Fields. Rick Feelsmen and Greaseta…

Dan Doinks was in the house for JF1's ridiculous game against Miami. We promised to wait until the Jets game to announce whether we were all in or not - is it time? I think it might be time. Dan Campbell and his beautiful face come to town this week as the Bears try to get in the win column for the first time in awhile. But that's not the point, is…

The NFL's annual swap meat saw the Bears being active, shipping Roquan out and the man Canadians call "Mapletron" in, along with some additional draft capital and a LB no one has heard of. Will Claypool be helpful or does he seem odd? Was it the right move to trade Ro? Plus a quick look at our thoughts on how JF1 looked against Dallas + Dan Doinks …

The 2022 Chicago Bears are the greatest football team anyone has ever laid eyes on. Matt Eberflus is better than Bill Belichick. Justin Fields has turned a corner and will be leading the Bears to glory even earlier than originally thought. The boys (one of whom was oddly not stationary during most of this episode) still can't believe what happened …

We're as sick of thinking about Bears-Commanders as you are hearing about it so we keep it brief, outside of bringing you deeeeep inside our tailgate. Monday night football looms and a visit to New England may remind us all of how far we have to go to be relevant in the NFL once again. Dan talks Bill out of pivoting to an all-Illini podcast as the …

What is wrong with the local Bears media? Bill Doinks falls into the trap of their odd takes after Justin Fields looked pretty good against the 4-1 Vikings. The Bears may have fallen short against Minny but that's not really the point this year, right? Washington comes to town on a short week and the boys will be live in the flesh at Soldier Field …

Let's shake off that Giants game and move onto the weird purple humans up north, shall we? We bring back an old purple friend a few times for this one, coincidentally, and talk about mostly non-Bears stuff this episode if we're being honest. Rick Feelsmen and Greasetank Frank contribute their brilliance again this episode and Dan makes Bill laugh s…

We have no idea how this video thing works but we're giving it a whirl. I mean, we've heard of cameras but this is our Zero Doinks debut. Do you need to watch it on a particular app? No idea! Should we upload it to Youtube? Yeah we probably should! Anywho, Bears fall to 2-2 and we briefly discuss what most disgusts us about today's effort against t…

For what feels like the 10th straight year, the Bears play the Giants, this time in beautiful New Jersey. We'll get you all riled up about the big game as we still feel amazing about our 2-1 Bears and are still covered in Justin Fields optimism. We'll give you all the hottest fantasy picks, Rick Feelsmen will grace the show with his best bets of th…

The Bears are 2-1 and there's absolutely no red flags to concern ourselves with whatsoever. This might be the greatest rushing offense the league has ever seen in the history of pigskin. We definitely did not pick a specific game in which we are deciding the fate of Justin Fields as Bears QB, no, absolutely we did not do that around minute 14 or so…

Stop me if you've heard this one before - the Bears went into Green Bay for a nationally-televised night game and they left with a loss, giving their fanbase an uneasy feeling and continued inferiority complex. The boys won't dwell on Sunday night's thrashing too much as it's Texans week which means the return of a bearded Lovie Smith. So much Pino…

The undefeated Chicago Bears head to Green Bay this Sunday night in front of a crowd of mostly ugly people and we can't wait to get into it. Will Coach Flus ever lose? Will Aaron Rodgers be wasted out of his gourd? How often does Matt LeFleur get his hair cut? I think it's time for the Bears to take the North and never give it back, don't you? Plus…

The boys of Zero Doinks needed to immediately talk about the incredible Week 1 upset by our beloved Bears over the seven point favorite San Francisco 49ers. 16 wins away from perfection. Enjoy this bonus reaction episode. Bearssssss. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/messageSupport this podcast: https:/…

Finally, real football is here, and Dan & Bill Doinks are here to get weird with it. Are the boys still glowing from JF1's preseason performance against Cleveland? Any hot thoughts about the final 53 or depth chart? Sweaty Ted is retiring, hallelujah! So much hot content this ep, including the return of both Rick Feelsmen and Greasetank Frank. 0:00…

The boys wrap up their preseason slate of episodes with the return of Dan Doinks from Hawaii. How tan do we think his unmentionables are? Still pretty paste-y? Anywho, the Seahawks were no match for the Bears in preseason game two as they remain on top of the NFC North for a second-consecutive week. What are our feelings on Roquan ending his "hold-…