Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Your banter with Tyrion is awesome, even when you're breaking each other's hearts. Tyrion and Varys hold hands through the creepiest date night ever. Shae pets the wrong cat and Tywin gets what's coming to him as we finally close the door on Tyrion's chapters. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Tyrion …

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Stannis is looking for his Davos in Jon while Melisandre is here to save Stannis from his middle child woes, but would a hot woman choose to smell like blood and smoke? Stannis offers Jon everything he's ever wanted, but is Winterfell worth the price of dealing with wildling bs for years? Game of Thrones. A Son…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sam is back at the Wall where George knows nothing about breastfeeding and they're convening the equivalent of the papal conclave to elect a lord commander. We consider questions such as: is life with Craster enough training to survive Randyll Tarly? And just what does freezer burned mammoth taste like? Game of…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It wouldn't be ASoIaF if someone wasn't dumping boiled wine on someone, but we're at the end of Arya's Storm journey and what a sad little journey it's been. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Arya XIII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 524…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon is set up for failure by those two lovable scamps: Janos and Alliser when he's sent to meet with Mance. We still like Book Tormund, but we have real questions about George's sense of scale and the logic of the arrival of the cavalry. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon X. Close …

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. No more heavy leanings! Cersei tries to blow Jaime right out of the Kingsguard, but he's too busy rehearsing his big speech to Brienne. Jaime and Brienne act like awkward teenagers, and then Jaime acts like a man who can do whatever he chooses. Whatever he chooses. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Ja…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dany's conquered yet another city state, but it's very much two steps forward, three steps back for her as she deals with the fallout and Jorah's crappy YouTube apology. Hell has frozen over and we find that we're the Dany Defense Squad now. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Daenerys …

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is Tywin a dad of his word? We’re not so sure. We are pretty sure he’s being poisoned, though. Tyrion’s putting all his faith in the Red Viper, and we wonder why Tywin didn’t see that coming. Join us for Inigo Montoya vs. The Mountain, a trial by combat for the ages, but not for the faint of heart. Just remembe…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon and what's left at the Night's Watch are tired and so are we. We're not quite sure what the Turtle is, but our heroes are throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks despite or because of GRRM's Looney Tunes physics. Janos Slynt arrives to spoil Jon's first good night of sleep in a while. Game of Thrones.…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's time to get your PEEEETYR on, as Littlefinger moves from his Tiny House in the Fingers to a deluxe apartment in the sky. Will Sansa move from pawn to player? Could GRRM possibly have more SanSan foreshadowing in this chapter? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Sansa VI. Originally recorded in 2018…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s time for King’s Landing Cribs Edition, where the magic doesn’t happen. Are you a gasoline kinda gal or do you prefer manure? All we know is we’re not into the smell of rotting flesh. Jaime trusts Loras will fall in love with Brienne if he just spends a few minutes alone with her. Game of Thrones. A Song of…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's the trial of the young century and with Cersei McBeal in charge, things don't look good for Tyrion. We get another sweet, fleeting taste of the sexy Oberyn Martell, but inquiring minds want to know - did Oberyn get a taste of Cersei? GRRM is the Jaime and Brienne fanfic author of our dreams and we want mor…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join us as Arya takes a tour through every stage of grief and evidences some abandonment issues and we realize this episode should be sponsored by a therapy service. Tyrion's buddies are thriving and we realize that in another universe, Sandor has a future as a camp counselor for damaged children. Game of Thron…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Things are bleak at the Wall, but Donal Noye, total badass that he is, and Jon are on it even if he is only 16. If we were looking at the HR roster for the Watch, he'd be our pick for command t Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon VIII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 514…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Davos may not have all his fingertips, but he's sure got balls. Robert's kids are awesome and we'll definitely miss the Davos/Stannis/Melisandre not-so-fun-times chapters. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Davos VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 513…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jaime’s homecoming sucks. Cersei gives, but we must ask. Sure Jaime’s a deadbeat dad, but Joff really was a dick. And Jaime might be good at bluffing, but Tywin always wins the staring contests. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jaime VII (repost). Originally recorded in 2019. Close The Door And Come …

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sansa turns from porcelain, to ivory, to steel, but finds herself fleeing from one terrible situation to another. Littlefinger's plots make almost as much sense as his ways of wooing women. We mourn the lack of SanSan in the show, and wonder if Sansa will ever get to actually kiss a half decent man. A Song of I…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s a nice day for a Purple Wedding. Olenna’s giving Sansa some serial killer hairnet realness. Joffrey stars in his first and last “I’m on a horse!” Old Spice commercial. GRRM might be the original wordy food blogger, so you can just shove some pigeon pie down your cake hole for the very bestest chapter ever.…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's time for Joffrey's wedding breakfast, but where are the Bloody Marys and cheesy hashbrowns, George? Who needs fantasy football when you can have fantasy Kingsguards? Did Robert have a subscription to Melees Monthly? Tyrion is...problematic and no matter what tidbits GRRM give us, we're just not here for yo…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Turns out not everyone is that into dragon sex dungeons. If you need staff who can keep their mouth shut, Brella's your girl. Tyrion talks himself out of loving a whore. Again. Like Shae we aim high by going low. Are the Brave Companions the real J/B shippers? Hooray for Occasional Gents x 2! A Song of Ice and …

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dany's crew is at their peak as they take on Meereen and each other's treachery. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Daenerys V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 507

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. This chapter's got lore galore, a POV character meet-up, Meera being awesome and the plot moving forward. More of this, please! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Bran IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 506

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We all love what George does with his Dicks. Is Mance the first person in a thousand years to think about attacking Castle Black from the rear? Could Jon and Ygritte have had it all? Or at least something? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon VII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episo…

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Davos is the guy we all want on our small council, especially in the chapter where he's the only one in the room trying to talk his king out of sacrificing a kid. Is it Pie-los? Pee-los? Jim? Who can say? However you pronounce it, he's smart enough in his choice of teaching material. Game of Thrones. A Song of …

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Joffrey doesn’t know when to just take a win, but Tyrion knows when to pull out the Michael Jackson popcorn gif. Cersei had one job! We decide we prefer a Benadryl timeout. And we learn that Elia was an afterthought because Tywin is the real monster here. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Tyrion VI (rep…