Join fresh-faced recruit Amanda and weathered, long-suffering fan Ella as we head back to the 90s to reopen the TV show The X-Files! Every week we discuss one episode in chronological order as we rediscover the thrills, chills, and spills of Mulder and Scully's investigations into the paranormal. Hop aboard our flying saucer! New episodes released every Tuesday.
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TLG E2: "From Belamisk with Love" & E3: "Saving Private Frohike"
1:55:55
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This week we are adding another member to the crew and breaking into old women’s houses while we discuss The Lone Gunmen episodes “Bond, Jimmy Bond” and “Eine Kleine Frohike”! We’re talking the ongoing motif of humiliating poor Tom Braidwood, whether or not Yves has a fake British accent, how much we love the evil henchman Mr. Luscious Lips and his…
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S8 E15: "Hey, I'm Deadalivin' Here!"
2:09:11
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This week we are exhuming dead bodies and redefining the spa experience by sloughing off our entire bodies while we discuss “Deadalive”! We’re talking the dangers of Scully’s membrane rupturing from scary news, how excited we are about the return of the nanobots, how Doggett embodies the “if shit sux hit da bricks” meme, wonder why exactly they’re …
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TLG E1: "Pi-LET Me Off This Plane!"
1:55:48
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This week we are spending some time with the boys while we discuss The Lone Gunmen “Pilot”! We’re talking how we are living the darkest future of this show, how strange it is that The Lone Gunmen still don’t seem to care about Mulder’s death, how right it is that Frohike still has a VW van from his hippie days, how apparently the entire crew hates …
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S8 E14: "Um, Actually, This IS Happening"
1:54:29
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This week we are trying to recover Mulder from a Nike Cult while we discuss “This Is Not Happening”! We’re talking how Theresa Hosey is the original Grunge Teen, how it’s dangerous to let Doggett emote on a plane, that Skinner may not be helpful in this investigation but he does have a great chest to cry into, how Scully and Skinner are like under-…
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This week we are hoping a government conspiracy hasn’t gotten involved in Scully’s pregnancy again while we discuss “Per Manum”! We’re talking how we can no longer ignore the fact that Scully is pregnant no matter how hard we try, wonder where Mulder kept Scully’s ova this entire time (hopefully not his freezer next to the ice cream), note that Scu…
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S8 E12: "The Taking of Medusa 123"
1:33:05
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This week we are tracking an infectious disease through the Boston subway system while we discuss “Medusa”! We’re talking the very-real Jason Staham cameo, how Dr. Kelso from Scrubs will keep these trains running come hell or high water, wonder if it’s worth it to get infected by flesh-eating creatures if it means you can catch your train home on t…
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S8 E11: "The Gift That Keeps On Barfing"
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This week we are looking into troubling secrets and barfing creatures while we discuss “The Gift”! We’re talking whether or not Scully has any hobbies, how there’s no way Skinner reads any of their case reports, some Geico Caveman kissing ASMR, and how Mulder is screaming at witnesses. He’s back, baby! We’re happy to see Mulder, but we’re troubled …
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This week we are avoiding squeaky carts in public bathrooms while we discuss “Badlaa”! We’re talking Doggett’s ever-deepening New Yahk accent, how Scully is always late to the scene because she has to exchange insurance information with all the cars she’s hit, sloppy vampires, how Scully is terrified at being the believer, that Skinner would make a…
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S8 E9: "NIMSY (Not in MY Salvage Yard!)"
1:54:26
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This week we are turning into some kind of metal man while we discuss “Salvage”! We’re talking why you can’t blame everything on Gulf War Syndrome, how Doggett gets scared when Scully starts talking about the paranormal, our favorite extra who gets a little scared of a stick, how you have to shave lest you turn into a metal Chia Pet, and Doggett’s …
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S8 E8: "Surekillin' Like a Villain"
1:27:42
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This week we are staring through walls to look at Hollywood rats while we discuss “Surekill”! We’re talking Terence O’Hara and his telescoping eyes, maybe settle on a supremely-silly team name for Doggett and Scully, boo at Uncle Jack’s appearance, talk about the importance of having an attack child on your side, the real story of Howard Gordon’s d…
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S8 E7: "Via Negativa May Cause Drowsiness, Nightmares, and Axe Wounds to the Head"
1:48:46
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This week we are reluctantly opening our third eyes while we discuss “Via Negativa”! We’re talking the excess of sleepy FBI agents in this episode, Doggett’s Golf Guys dropping like flies and how it’s starting to get a little suspicious, Skinner starting drama and Doggett weathering it, how Scully is in the hospital from the stress of being a belie…
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This week we are moving backwards through time and learning valuable lessons while we discuss “Redrum”! We’re talking whether Doggett and Martin are Top Golf buddies, Gillian Anderson taking naps on that salmon plank between takes, whether lawyers are really allowed to be that sassy in the courtroom, Danny Trejo and the spider’s beautiful friendshi…
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S8 E5: "Doggett Needs an In-vacay-tion!"
1:18:45
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This week we are searching for little ghost boys and ignoring our second child while we discuss “Invocation”! We’re talking how only sad, wearied moms wear sweaters, the teacher penguin huddle, Doggett’s own Silly Science Corner moment, how Scully cares about proper procedure all of a sudden, how Ronnie’s favorite activities are leaving and arrivin…
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This week we are avoiding slug-god cults in the desert while we discuss “Roadrunners”! We’re talking how sad it is that there’s unidentified goo around and nobody to lick it, ongoing developments with Doggett and his pull tab case, how Scully is really committed to keeping Mulder’s spirit alive by becoming Mulder, have a heated debate over whether …
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S8 E3: "Beware the Patience of a Bat-Man"
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This week we are dodging giant bat-creatures while we discuss “Patience”! We’re talking Doggett doing his best to horn in on the Flashlight X situation, spend a lot of time trying to figure out a team name for Scully and Doggett, boo Detective Misogyny, warn people away from the scentless phone warranty no matter how reasonably priced, and laugh at…
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S8 E2: "In a UFO Without a Paddle"
1:47:26
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This week we are dealing with a classic “My FBI partner’s being impersonated by a shapeshifting alien with ill intent” situation while we discuss “Without”! We’re talking how everyone in this episode had a wicked case of heatstroke, how much Kersh loves to enunciate, our new favorite character Agent Walkie Talkie, how Skinner has earned the right t…
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S8 E1: "Within Sight of Mulder"
1:40:15
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This week we are trying to find our alien-abducted old partner and throwing water in the face of our new partner while we discuss “Within”! We’re talking Mark Snow really banging on those pots and pans, how Falling Guy has turned into Mulder, Scully in her depression-beard era, how Skinner is doing everything humanly possible to get Scully not to b…
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(BONUS #10) Duchovny in Retrograde: Season 7 in Alien Heaven
2:27:43
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This week we are pausing and taking a look back on Season 7 as a whole! We unpack some special featies, do episode rankings, read some listener emails, do some predictions for the future, and play some trivia! Topics of discussion: Tea Leoni’s giant rhinestone cross necklace, Gillian fully in director mode, whether or not Mulder will be Alien Skypi…
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This week we are catching a ride on a UFO to keep track of our best guy while we discuss “Requiem”! We’re talking CSM in his deathchair, the return of everyone’s favorite plot thread (the expenses storyline), our charisma-less girl Marita making her lackluster return, how the real X-File is the mystery of Skinner’s doors, how much Scully enjoys Mul…
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S7 E21: "Je Souhaite un Stout-Hearted Mule"
1:36:37
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This week we are trying to outsmart a genie while we discuss “Je Souhaite”! We’re talking this episode chock-full of Classic Vince Guys, Small Mouth, whether or not the Boo Crew has groupies, the return of Scully’s Silly Science Corner, proto-Badger and Skinny Pete, and poor Gillian still in debt from mime school. We rage against Scully’s evidence …
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S7 E20: "The Ninth Rule of Fight Club is: Don't Meet Your Doppelganger"
1:47:05
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This week we are accidentally following our long-lost twins around the country while we discuss “Fight Club”! We’re talking Uncanny Valley Mulder and Scully, how something horrible must have happened to Mark Snow this week to produce this music, glasses that are just made for breaking, whether non-fraternal siblings are even a thing, and how a sewe…
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(BONUS #9) S7 E??: "An Ice Capade to Remember"
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Welcome back to Mulder Nation! This week we are heading out on our yearly father-son bonding road trip while we discuss “An Ice Capade to Remember”! We’re talking how everything is topsy-turvy this week, Mulder and the Cigarette Smoking Man are on their father-son bonding trip, 2-person curly straws, how we wish Scully would just stop calling Mulde…
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S7 E19: "Hollywood A(ssistant) D(irector)"
1:46:34
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This week we are going full Hollywood while we discuss “Hollywood A.D.”! We’re talking how Skinner can tell his career at the FBI is going to be cut short and deciding to pivot to his Hollywood producer era instead, how much we hate Wayne, how relaxing it is to have a lunchtime walk in a basement crypt, how Scully apparently speaks ancient Greek no…
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S7 E18: "Bland X (Because We Couldn't Make a Good Saw X Joke)"
1:47:13
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This week we are just confirming for everyone that smoking is indeed bad for you while we discuss “Brand X”! We’re talking the FBI inflicting protective custody on people, how ridiculous it is to get mad at the Bigfoot Division for coming up with theories about Bigfoot, theorize that the Cigarette Smoking Man must be at fault for this somehow, and …
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This week we are reuniting with old flames while we discuss “all things”! We’re talking how this episode clearly came about because Gillian Anderson wanted to direct a Moby music video, how scared we were by Daniel’s massive man hands, how this is Gillian’s first directing gig because she’s not tall enough to reach the cameras, we make fun of Scull…
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S7 E16: "Quoth the Chimera: Never Cheat"
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This week we are abandoning our partner on a stakeout to eat Eggs Benedict in the suburbs while we discuss “Chimera”! We’re talking Mulder being forced into suburbia yet again, how we simply must bring back psychomanteums, poor Scully abandoned on a crappy stakeout, Phil the Philanderer, and how traumatizing it is to see a bird. We propose Skinner …
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S7 E15: "The En Ami of My En Ami Is My Future Father-in-Law"
1:52:18
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This week we are taking a road trip with a man we were pretty sure was our biggest nemesis while we discuss “En Ami”! We’re talking CGB and Scully’s Totally Rad Road Trip Spotify playlist, Mulder’s very necessary flowchart to manage his anxiety when Scully doesn’t answer the phone, CSM becoming very acquainted with Diesel Dana, whether the alien su…
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This week we are making poppets and popcorn and raging against modern medicine while we discuss “Theef”! We’re talking how this regional award is definitely the other woman in this doctor’s marriage, how much we love the cute little dirt men, how much we are sick of California, and how this is a big night for poultices. We propose a haunted award e…
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S7 E13: "Voracious Vixen Shooter"
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This week we are entering virtual reality to kick some virtual ass while we discuss “First Person Shooter”. Note the lack of an exclamation mark. We’re ready to be true haters this week. We talk how the term “male gaze” was probably invented to describe this episode, puzzle over the Venn diagram of Euro-goons and cyber trash, advocate for Gillian A…
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S7 E12: "X-Cops, X-Cops, Whatcha Gonna Do?"
1:44:54
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This week we are cruising the streets of Los Angeles in search of a werewolf while we discuss “X-Cops”! We’re talking Deputy Pretzel, Scully needing a giant hoodie and sunglasses to hide from the cameras, whether or not Mulder still has the Mrs. Bigfoot sketch in his wallet, how the glass ceiling is really about people assuming you haven’t seen IT,…
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S7 E11: "Closure (We Really Mean It This Time. Honest, Guys. For Real)"
2:11:24
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This week we are tying our deep psychological trauma into a neat bow and moving on with our lives while we discuss “Closure”! We’re talking everyone’s need to wrap up the Samantha storyline already, how Harold the psychic has Shawn Spencer energy (derogatory), how Scully really needs a kid leash for Mulder, how much we want to see Scully in Mindhun…
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S7 E10: "No One Shoots at Sein und Zeit!"
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This week we are investigating Bad Santas and definitely NOT projecting about our missing sister while we discuss “Sein und Zeit”! We’re talking our need for Skinner to tag along on the Boo Crew’s cases, whether or not the incompetent lawyer is the parents’ third, the exciting (if you’re Chris Carter) appearance of Harsh Realm, and wonder what stag…
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This week we are trying to prove to snakes that we are righteous while we discuss “Signs and Wonders”! We’re talking Boring Church vs. Fun Church, Wayne from Letterkenny making an appearance, the disgusting lack of Screaming Guy in the credits, how much we love beloved character actress Beth Grant, how Reverend Enoch really gets the most out of eve…
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This week we are heckling boring street magicians while we discuss “The Amazing Maleeni”! We’re talking how Billy LaBonge could only exist in 2004, how Mulder and Scully are embroiled in their sick, twisted games and pulling the rest of us into it, how Scully demands in her rider that Mulder be the eye candy at the autopsy, their triumphant return …
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This week we are welcoming back our least favorite death fetishist serial killer while we discuss “Orison”! We’re talking the dawn of the 21st century, boo Donnie for a while, how it’s dangerous to wake up Scully after she’s tucked in for bedtime, how silly it is that Donnie turns into a literal demon, tactical Scully, Mulder automatically turning …
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S7 E6: "Hey Rube (Goldberg Variation)"
1:24:19
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This week we are trying to outthink the machinations of fate while we discuss “The Goldberg Variation”! We’re talking our need for a poker x-ray view, Mulder making entrances like Gene Parmesan for the delight of Scully, celebrate a rare Scully is right episode, get excited about Rube Goldberg machines, and note that Scully likes baseball now… That…
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This week we are trying to outrun this messy drug metaphor while we discuss “Rush”! We’re talking Diesel Dana, very aesthetic interrogation rooms, how episodes like this almost (almost) make us miss Howie, the criminally-underused Ann Dowd, and Mulder being hilariously and dramatically offended by being called old. We decide that we’re Chuck fans n…
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S7 E4: "You Got Your Millennium in My X-Files!"
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This week we are counting down to Y2K while we discuss “Millennium”! We’re talking how poor Millennium didn’t make it to the millennium, wonder whether Scully forgot about her ouroboros tattoo, point out that Skinner really does love to sit on these time-sensitive cases until it will be the most dramatic, welcome Frank Black to the pod, and finally…
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S7 E3: "Hungry Like the Line Cook"
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This week we are trying to control our hunger pangs for human brains while we discuss “Hungry”! We’re talking how Amanda loves a Donnie Darko type, how the fast food manager is giving us Gus Fring vibes (Vince, you wiley dog!), how Mulder might be extra sensitive about this case post-brain surgery, and how this therapist is down BAD. Girl, get a ho…
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S7 E2: "The Sixth Extinction II: Please Sir, May I Have Some Amor Fati?"
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This week we are traversing the hills and valleys of Mulder’s psyche while we discuss “The Sixth Extinction II: Amor Fati”! We’re talking painfully obvious Jesus metaphors, how exciting it is that Mulder has finally become the X-File, Scully sucking out Skinner’s nanobots, the exciting return of Deep Throat, how Kimberly really needs an anti-Boo Cr…
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S7 E1: "The Sixth Extinction (Or the Fifth, Because Who Cares About Trilobites?)"
1:57:40
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This week we are showing off our extraterrestrial telekinetic powers while we discuss “The Sixth Extinction”! We’re talking Mulder becoming an All-Brain (whatever that is), hate on trilobites for a while, Scully in her Lara Croft/Indiana Jones era, 0 days since Mulder and Skinner’s last physical confrontation, and how much we hate the Frankenstein …
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(BONUS #8) It Lives! It Goofs! It's Hollywood, Baby! Season 6: The Remix
2:40:32
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This week we are bidding adieu to Season 6 in style. We exhaustively rank the episodes and talk about our thoughts on the season as a whole, read some listener emails and questions, and play a guessing game. Topics of conversation: Toby Lindala and his LA-Skin Suit, complaints about the huge waste of Bruce Campbell, how sad it is that the writers r…
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This week we are discovering alien spacecraft off of the West African coast while we discuss “Biogenesis”! We’re talking the excitement of new locations in Skinner’s office but the sadness of them being used for betrayal, our beloved Pointing Group, whether Mulder is getting alien visions or they’re still being digested by mushrooms, the return of …
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S6 E21: "Nightmare Field Trip Rotation"
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This week we are either investigating a regular X-File or being digested by cave mushrooms (dealer’s choice) while we discuss “Field Trip”! We’re talking how much Jim Beaver loves bog sludge, Scully scraping mountains with her truck, how romantic it is to decay together, how hurtful it is that Mulder got betrayed by goo, and get excited about Mulde…
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This week we are solving political assassinations in Las Vegas while we discuss “Three of a Kind”! We’re talking how The Lone Gunmen are just barely cooler than the roving bands of nerds infesting this hotel, how they’ll just give a voiceover to anyone these days (it used to be special!), how much we are not buying the Susanne/Byers romance, and ho…
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S6 E19: "If You Build It, The Unnatural Will Come"
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This week we are being seduced by the great game of baseball while we discuss “The Unnatural”! We’re talking the shocking amount of cactus hatred, how much Mulder and Scully love destroying FBI property and how they could just go on dates if they wanted to hang instead, the Pythagorean theorem for jocks, Amanda’s favorite alien guy she’s been waiti…
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S6 E18: "The Milagro of Mulder Neighbor Lore"
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This week we are writing long, purple monologues about our neighbors while we discuss “Milagro”! We’re talking our love for John Hawkes, the return of the evidence-disposal furnace, whether or not we can take a man in a hoodie seriously, and most importantly of all, MULDER NEIGHBOR LORE. We’ve been waiting, we’ve been asking, and finally, we get to…
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(BONUS #7) Philefest: The Con Is On: Celebrating 30 Years of The X-Files: A Retrospective (Of Last Weekend): The Wrap-Up (After Dark)
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We’re taking a bit of a break this week to catch up on our recording schedule, so we’re bringing you the Philefest convention gossip HOT* (*2 weeks late) off the presses. We answer a few Twitter questions, talk about the panels we saw, Amanda beaming her thought waves into Pat Skipper, the rowdy crowd for the movie showing, Darin Morgan and his kil…
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This week we are phasing through walls and tracking down our secret sons while we discuss “Trevor”! We’re talking 1930s-ass prisons, Mulder writing in his middle-school diary, Pinker Rawls: the most convict name in the world, Jackie being the MVP, the horror of Lariat disrespect, and how fun it looks to char words into a wall. We complain about how…
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This week we are dodging both jealous partners and shapeshifting dogs while we discuss “Alpha”! We’re talking about how scared we were this was going to turn into a Panflute episode, all of the awkward banter that didn’t land, how Karyn is in all ways that matter just Will Graham, launch a Hannibal-related theory, and just kind of shake our heads a…
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