Come Out, Wherever You Are is a podcast about the coming out experience, told by the people who’ve done it. Host Sean Szeps is a proud member of the LGBTQIA+ community. In each episode he speaks with guests across Australia’s gender and sexual spectrum to learn about their unique experiences and understand what it’s like to come out for the first time (and every time after that).
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I started this podcast to learn more about the LGBTQIA+ community. I felt like I had a pretty good grasp on the 'G' but I didn't know as much about the L, or B or QTIA+ Over the course of almost 50 interviews I've become a better father, husband, friend, ally and advocate for the community. This is what I've learned ❤️ Also just a heads up - this i…
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"You've had sex with MEN!?" Rob Mills on masculinity, fluidity and *that* night with Courtney Act
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Can you have sex with someone of the same gender and not have it define your life or even your sexuality? Rob 'Millsy' Mills thinks you can. Rob came out about having a threesome with Shane Jenek (aka Courtney Act) to normalise the conversation about sexual fluidity among men. Sean speaks with Rob about growing up with speculation over his sexualit…
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Your cheat sheet to surviving family Christmas as a queer person
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Merry Christmas my beautiful friends. You asked: “Help! My family isn’t accepting of my sexuality. They won’t let me bring my girlfriend home either, which makes me not want to go home for Christmas. Any tips?” So Sean reached out to his queer brain's trust to get their advice on how you can navigate the holiday season when your family doesn't acce…
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Jesse Dutlow was kicked out of church for being queer
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Jesse is a queer, non-binary actor and performer. They learned to sing, and fell in love with performance, in the Pentecostal Church as a kid and after school they studied songwriting for two years at Hillsong College. Jesse knew they were queer all that time but knew they couldn't come out and live authentically if they wanted to remain in the chu…
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"Are you sure it's not a phase?" and other inappropriate questions with Robyn Lambird
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Robyn Lambird is a non-binary athlete and the first out non-binary Paralympian to win a medal at the Games. Impressive, right? So why are people so obsessed with asking them how they have sex or if being non-binary is all a big experiment? In today's Queer Question, I ask Robyn the most inappropriate questions they get about sexuality, gender, disa…
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Ellia Green is living in the body he's meant to be in
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Ellia knew he was different before he ever had the language to describe how he felt. He knew he was different when he was winning gold for Australia at the 2016 Rio Olympics in the women's Rugby 7's team. But Ellia had a job to do. He had to represent his country, support his family, and fulfil a dream he'd had since he was a kid. It wasn't until E…
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Is it transphobic to call yourself bisexual?
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Today's Queer Question comes from you! You asked: how is bisexuality not transphobic and/or erasing to non-binary people? And we brought in friend of the podcast, non-binary content creator, actor, DJ and trainer, Kath Ebbs, to chat it through. Follow Kath on Instagram @kathebbs Listen to Kath's episode of Come Out Wherever You Are here https://lin…
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If it makes Jack Vidgen feel hot, he'll wear it
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Where's the line between gender, sexuality and self-expression? Jack dresses to feel good. Some days that means wearing a crop top and heels and he's no less of a man for doing so. But when Jack recently posted a photo of himself wearing a crop top, he lost followers. Jack sits down with Sean to explore why he thinks it happened, as well as coming …
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My kid came out to me...what do I do?
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This one's for the parents. Every week you guys will DM me saying "my child has come out as gay or lesbian or trans or non-binary or "I don't know what I am but I feel different", what do I do!?" And every week, I reply with advice and resources and reassurance that it's all going to be okay, for your and for your child. So for this week's Queer Qu…
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Dennis Altman shaped the gay liberation movement in Australia & USA
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From the HIV/AIDS epidemic, to marriage equality, to the current treatment of gay refugees in Australia, Dennis Altman has been there for all of it. He is a writer, an academic, Vice Chancellor's Fellow and Professorial Fellow in the Institute for Human Security at LaTrobe University in Melbourne. His first book 'Homosexual: Oppression and Liberati…
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Isaac Humphries & caring about male athletes coming out
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Last week Melbourne United basketball player, Isaac Humphries, came out as gay. This makes him the only openly gay male player in a top tier men's basketball team. In an emotional video posted to Humphries' Instagram, he shared that coming to terms with his sexuality forced him into a very dark and lonely place. "I hated it about myself. I was disg…
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Carla from Bankstown is Ben from Bankstown too
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Who's the person behind the hair and makeup? Carla From Bankstown is one of Australia's most recognisable characters, but growing up as a flamboyant boy in Bankstown, Ben was asked to change himself so he wouldn't be a target for bullies. Ben sits down with Sean to share about growing up different, the unwavering support he's received from his pare…
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Eminem: talented, homophobic and Hall of Fame worthy?
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Eminem has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He's the second-best selling male artist in US history, having sold over 220 million records worldwide and winning 15 Grammys and an Academy Award. Does he deserve to be there? Yes! But is it a problem that the lyrics of some of his most popular songs are not at all subtle in their homop…
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Being gay is fundamental to who Tom Ballard is. His life, his career and his politics are all because he's gay, not in spite of it. Tom is one of Australia's most well-known and beloved comedians. From RAW Comedy, to triple j Breakfast, to Tonightly, Tom Ballard has been a mainstay in Australian media and comedy for more than a decade. Tom sits dow…
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Kit O'Connor & Madonna have been accused of queerbaiting. Why does it matter?
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"i’m bi. congrats for forcing an 18 year old to out himself. i think some of you missed the point of the show. bye" After being driven off Twitter following accusations of 'queerbaiting', 18-year-old Heartstopper actor, Kit Connor, returned to the platform last week to make this announcement. His coming out forced us to ask questions about what que…
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Queer sex worker Tilly Lawless is still learning about sex
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What can sex work teach you about your sexuality? Why don't more women hire sex workers? Are straight people more judgemental of sex workers than queer people? Tilly Lawless is a queer sex worker, a writer and the host of the latest season of the podcast 'Tall Tales & True' where she shares 7 sex workers' stories. Tilly identifies as queer and star…
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Deni Todorović is rewriting the rules on fashion, gender & fitting in
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'Love This For You' is the debut book from beloved friend of the podcast Deni Todorović. Deni was the first ever guest on Come Out Wherever You Are. They shared their story of coming out twice: first as gay and then as non-binary. And now it's our turn to return the favour by telling you, our lovely listeners, about their book. 'Love This For You' …
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"My life's not sad" - James Parr on losing a limb and what men on Grindr say when you have one leg
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James Parr was diagnosed with cancer a week after he came out. At the same time that James was exploring himself as an out, bisexual man, he was also figuring out what his life would look like if he lost a limb. Now James takes pride in his disability and he will challenge anyone who tries to pity him or tell him that his life is "sad". James share…
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It's Gay Christmas! 🎄🎃 To celebrate, Sean sits down with Sandy McIntyre to ask: Why are queer people so obsessed with Halloween? Where did the term "Gay Christmas" come from? Is it easier to wear a dress on Halloween? What if I'm a man and I wear a dress on Halloween...and I like it? And Sean & Sandy reveal what they'll be wearing this Halloween 👀 …
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Today is Intersex Awareness Day! It's no secret that intersex is one of the less represented and understood letters of the LGBTQIA+ alphabet, so this Intersex Awareness Day we've decided to bring in the big guns to ensure that all of us are a little bit more informed. Sean sits down with Cody Smith, Senior Projects Officer at Intersex Human Rights …
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Billy Eichner & Luke Macfarlane: the first gay Hollywood love story 🌈❤️
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Bros is the first gay rom-com ever made by a major studio AND the first movie at a major studio to star and be written by an openly gay man. It's fun, it's flirty, it's camp and it's a very big deal. Sean sits down with the stars of Bros, Billy Eichner & Luke Macfarlane, to talk about: including kids in gay love stories, portraying queer love and s…
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Casey Dellacqua didn't want to be a queer tennis poster girl
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Casey Dellacqua has always had her eyes on the prize. She wanted to be a world-class tennis player and represent her country in the Olympics one day. What she didn't want, was to be a poster girl for queer athletes around the world. She wanted it to be, justifiably, about her tennis. But then, the media noticed she was playing less even though she …
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Grindr has added a new sexual position option: side
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Not top, not bottom, not verse, but side. Why does it matter? What does a side actually do? And is sex still sex without penetration? It's ya weekly Queer Question* from Sean Szeps' brain to your ears. *headphones recommended Join in the conversation on Instagram: @comeoutwhereveryouare Ask us your Queer Questions: comeouttous@gmail.com If you want…
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"There's receipts" - Matthew Backer on being typecast as the 'gay actor'
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Should gay actors be hired to play gay roles? Since coming out in his 30's, Mathew's acting has improved and he's gotten more work. But despite his best efforts to play a variety of gay & straight roles, Matthew is still mostly cast as the gay character. When he misses out, the role will go to a straight actor. And he's been keeping the receipts. M…
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"Stop asking lesbians how they have sex" - AMA with Emma Horn
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We asked YOU to submit questions for a Lesbian-themed Ask Me Anything. You did, we vetted them and now we're sitting down with actor and creator, Emma Horn, who will do her best to answer them all for you - no matter how spicy (and slightly offensive) they get. We ease into it: How do I know if I'm a lesbian? How can I ask a colleague if she's a le…
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"I'm so lucky I get to be this person" - Milo Hartill loves being queer
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The moment Milo Hartill realised she might like women was during a Halle Berry movie. And she's never felt bad about it. Milo's story is a modern coming out masterpiece: pride, acceptance, joy. But other people make assumptions based on Milo's sexuality simply because she is fat, black and "different". Sean & Milo get into it in this one: fatphobia…
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The kids' TV show Peppa Pig has introduced a lesbian couple. For some people, it's a long time coming. For others (cough cough the religious right) it's another sign that kids are being indoctrinated with a gay agenda. What's the big deal? What responsibility do parents have to introduce their kids to queer content? What responsibility do TV shows …
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How David Bradford tackled the Vietnam War and AIDS
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We speak about the HIV/AIDS epidemic a lot like it's a mythical, historical event and not something that happened verrrrry recently. David Bradford is a retired sexual health physician who was the Director of the Melbourne Communicable Diseases Centre when the first cases of HIV appeared in Melbourne in 1983. David's story starts in 1941 in a relig…
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Today is Celebrate Bisexuality Day. I don't need to tell you that bisexuals get the shit end of the stick in the LGBTQIA+ community. They're the butt of the joke, stigmatised, fetishised, made fun of and not taken seriously. And I've been a part of it. So this Bi Week, I wanted to say I'm sorry. Join in the conversation on Instagram: @comeoutwherev…
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"Mum's my everything" - the woman behind drag queen Art Simone
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Art Simone has forged their own path in the drag world. These days you'll find her on tour for RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under, but she has been perfecting her craft since high school. And it's all been possible thanks to the support (and a healthy dose of skepticism) from their Mum. Sean sits down with Art to find out: do you need to "come out" as a…
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What's the Catholic Church up to now?
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Last week the Australian Catholic Bishops Conference’s published 'Created and Loved: A guide for Catholic schools on identity and gender'. It's a 12-page guide for principals, teachers and parish priests about how to work with young people in respect to their identity and gender. The Catholic Church + advice on gender = a very anxious Sean. We've r…
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Rudy Jean Rigg on trans acceptance in sport
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"We should be allowed to succeed and win” When Rudy Jean Rigg was at the height of their competitive badminton career, they made the decision to affirm their gender and transition. For Rudy, playing competitive sport and being trans sadly couldn't co-exist at the same time. At least not a few years ago. But what if they could now? In this riveting …
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Can you be non-binary and straight? with Sandy McIntyre
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It's our very first Ask Me Anything episode. And we're doing it with our non-binary hero, Sandy McIntyre. We start off easy: What's the difference between non-binary, gender non-conforming and genderqueer? Does everyone use they/them pronouns? Should I choose gender-neutral names for my kids? And then we turn up the heat and throw in some 🌶 spicy 🌶…
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Yvonne Sillett was forced out of the army for being a lesbian
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Imagine you're a young girl dreaming of serving in the Australian Army. Then, it becomes your reality. You have your dream job now. And a few years into your service, you fall in love with one of your colleagues. Harmless, really. Except... it's the 1970's. And that colleague is another woman. This was the reality for Yvonne Sillett who served in t…
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Why is everyone talking about Singapore?
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Singapore is repealing its controversial 377A gay sex law. But it's not all good news. Because at the exact same time, the government is making it impossible for same-sex partners to marry by amending their constitution. One step forward, two steps back. What is Section 377A? Why is it being repealed? What do Singaporeans think about it? And what d…
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If you're a woman who's in a relationship with a woman, people call you a lesbian. If you're a woman who dates men and women, people call you bisexual. But what if you don't feel like either? Trainer, podcast host and former beach sprinting Junior World Champion, Katie Williams, came out with her girlfriend Georgia in 2021. But even though she's a …
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Monkeypox is here and we need to talk about it. For our inaugural Queer Questions episode, Sean asks if Monkeypox (a virus that is mostly affecting men who have sex with men) is a gay disease? What is Monkeypox? Why are gay men being infected? What can be done about it? What can we learn from HIV/AIDS? And is it ever okay to tell gay men to stop ha…
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We're here, we're queer and we're finally BACK to regular publishing! Things will look a little bit different this season. Not only will we be in your podcast feed every Wednesday sharing coming out stories from members of the LGBTQIA+ community... But we're introducing a second episode each week. Every Friday, we'll be answering your Queer Questio…
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There's nothing funny about Samantha Andrew's coming out story
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What happens when everyone in your life totally supports you coming out? It never occurred to comedian and content creator, Samantha Andrew, that being queer could be a bad thing, because everyone in her life loved and supported her so strongly. But regardless of how proud you are to be queer, the rest of the world can still be homophobic towards y…
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What does it mean to be intersex? with Mari Wrobi
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Intersex is the 'I' in the LGBTQIA+ alphabet. It's estimated that there are more intersex people in the world than people with red hair but it's one of the most misunderstood parts of the community. Mari Wrobi is an intersex educator and advocate based in Sacramento, California. They discovered they were intersex in their late teens after they'd al…
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Coming out isn't always easy but being gay can be a source of pride and joy for so many in the LGBTQIA+ community. Louis Hanson is one of Australia's most well-known and beloved queer content creators but growing up, he knew gay = bad. To convince others he was straight, he forced himself to abandon any hobbies or traits that would give him away as…
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Liam Cooper was outed as bisexual on national TV
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Almost everyone in Liam Cooper's life found out he was bisexual when he was outed on Married At First Sight Australia. Liam was open to producers about being bisexual before appearing on the show, but he expected to come out on his own terms, not forced to come out at his own wedding ceremony to his brand new wife Georgia. Since leaving the show, L…
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"Never again" - Christian Hull on becoming an accidental advocate
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What does it take to be an advocate for your community? In January, students at Brisbane's Citipointe Christian College were forced to sign homophobic and transphobic contracts as a condition of their enrolment. When comedian Christian Hull found out, he asked his audience to sign a petition asking the school to withdraw the contract and he uninten…
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Coming out to your religious family is hard. Going to conversion therapy and then not speaking to them for 10 years is even harder. Rod Jones, one part of the famous Australian Amazing Race duo Tim & Rod, came out to his family in high school. He was raised in a staunch Christian environment, where being gay was a sin that landed you in Hell, so it…
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Kath Ebbs used homophobia as a defence before coming out
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If you know you're different, but you don't want anyone else to notice, what do you do? When Kath Ebbs was growing up and coming to terms with their sexuality and gender, they used homophobia and transphobia as a defence to try and convince others they were straight. Kath grew up in a Catholic house and school. They didn't know what the LGBT acrony…
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Going back in the closet taught Khanh Ong survival skills
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Is going back in the closet and hiding your full self always a bad thing? At various times in Khanh Ong's life, he's been forced to change his personality to fit in. As a teenager at a new school and even during his first season of Masterchef, Khanh acted as the type of gay man he thought he "should" be. Though it may sound sad, this self-awareness…
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Allira Potter is attracted to energy not gender
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How do you put a label on a sexuality that doesn't have a name? Allira Potter is a manifestation and spiritual coach and author. Allira was married to a man in her early 20's but has dated both men and women since separating from her husband in her late 20's. To people who don't get it, Allira says she is bisexual, but to everyone else, she says sh…
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Millie Poutama doesn't believe in coming out
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If you spend most of your time with other queer people, do you ever need to come out? Millie Poutama has dated women since she was a teenager but doesn't think she should have to come out. Millie believes queer people come out for the benefit of straight people, so by surrounding herself with an open and supportive queer community, she doesn't feel…
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Abbie Chatfield is still queer even if she never dates a woman
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Who gets to decide if you're queer 'enough' to use the label? Abbie Chatfield came out publicly as bisexual in 2020 and came out as queer earlier this year. Despite publicly sharing stories of her sexual experiences with women, Abbie is regularly told she's not queer enough to use the label because she's never been in relationship with a woman. In …
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Jeff van de Zandt went to church twice a week before coming out as gay
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If you grow up in a religious family who believed being gay made you sick, where would you find the confidence to come out? Jeff van de Zandt is a Melbourne-based, Dutch-Filipino content creator and creative art director. These days Jeff is one of Australia's most popular TikTok creators, but when Jeff was growing up in Canberra in the 90's, there …
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