Welcome to Small Town News, located at the intersection of hardcore journalism and jelly-filled comedy. Each episode we read articles from small town newspapers from around the United States and use them to inspire improv stories. We've got fireworks filled with rattlesnakes. We've got a parade of painfully bad accents. We've got no idea what states border Michigan. But no matter where the story ends, it's all 100% true. Promise. Check our sources. Seriously.
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Shamokin, PA - Porch Chat - We Witness a Real-Life "Goonies" Chase and Owe an Apology to All Berthas
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Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Middletown, DE - Porch Chat - From Clark Gable to Indian Food
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Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Middletown, DE - We Bring Our Comfort Animals to Full Contact Wheel of Fortune
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Welcome to Middletown, Delaware, "The Diamond Town of the Diamond State!" We explore an number of interesting facts about this town, including the Big Ball Marathon. We hope you enjoy or visit! Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Picayune, NS - Porch Chat - Once in a Lifetime Treasure Box
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Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Picayune, MS - Wet Delta Makes a Comeback and a Kid Gets Punched in the Face
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Welcome to Picayune, Mississippi, "a precious coin in the purse of the South!" This small town is far from trivial. We hope you enjoy! Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Wyoming, RI - Porch Chat - The Chronicles of Doctor W. Gifford Jones & Diana Gifford Jones
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Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Wyoming, RI - Porch Chat - Dancing with the Stars of Diminishing Returns
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Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Wyoming, RI - We Pull the Thread on Library Privacy & Presidential Responsibility
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Welcome to Wyoming, Rhode Island, our first city with the name of a state and perhaps the smallest town we've visited. We hope you enjoy! Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Kailua-Kona, HI - Porch Chat - Chipotle Is not a Sponsor
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Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Kailua-Kona, HI - Our Biggest Fan Lives in a Basement in North Dakota
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Welcome to Kailua-Kona, Hawaii, home of Kona coffee! We hope you enjoy our visit to this amazing small town. Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Brattleboro, VT - Porch Chat - Nutella and Other Health Foods
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Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Brattleboro, VT - Small Talk and Copyright Laws Put Us in a Real Swabdabber
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Welcome to Brattleboro, Vermont, once home of the "Strolling of the Heifers!" We hope you enjoy! Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Galax, VA - Porch Chat - The Density of Nougat and the Extravagance of Ice Cream
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Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Galax, VA - Ted Kaczynski and Tipper Gore Send a Cow into Space
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Welcome to Galax, Virginia! It's not just plant, it's a place! We hope you enjoy our trip! Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Roosevelt, UT - Porch Chat - Hand Feeding Bears and Other Bad Ideas
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Here is a link to the picture and article that inspired this bit of nonsense... https://unofficialnetworks.com/2021/07/30/bear-spoon-fed-honey/ Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Roosevelt, UT - Porch Chat - George's Colonoscopy Bag of Surprises
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Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Roosevelt, UT - Twitter Libraries Are Hard to Come By
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Welcome to Roosevelt, Utah! We hope you enjoy our visit to the cool little town! Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Paris, TN - Porch Chat - We Gonna Goldilocks this Porch Chat about George's Pantry
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Paris, TN - We Remember Jerry Clower's Teeth with Help from a Song
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In honor of the Paris Olympic Games, Dr. Jess is taking us to a much closer and smaller Paris. We hope you enjoy our visit Paris, Tennessee! Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Aberdeen, SD - Porch Chat - Advertising Doppelgangers & Pull-Up Class
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Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Aberdeen, SD - Fabio & the Cowardly Lion Call an Operator to Get a Hair Transplant
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This week we travel to Aderbeen, South Dakota! We hope you our visit to this cool little town! Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Willcox, AZ - Porch Chat - Coffee Realities, Sears Wishes, & Genie Logic
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Willcox, AZ - One Man's Trash Is Another Man's Full Huggins
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Welcome to Willcox, Arizona! Willcox is located in southeastern Arizona near the US-Mexico border. This area accounts for 75% to 80% of the wine grapes grown in Arizona. There are several websites dedicated to the vineyards in the region and tasting tours. Willcox has a number of festivals including Rex Allen Days. Rex Allen was born in Willcox and…
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Center, ND - Porch Chat - We Love Center North Dakota and Hate Editor Keith
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Center, ND - Porch Chat - Annie Get Your Emotional Support Pet and Go to the Fair
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Center, ND - Skinemax Makes Us Scream Like Prairie Dogs at a John Waters Christmas Party
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Welcome to Center, North Dakota, where "The Rest of the World Is Okay but It's Better in Center!" Center is the seat of Oliver County and is home to just under 600 residents. The town's footprint is only .46 square miles. Places of interest nearby include the Cross Ranch State Park, Knife River Indian Village, and Nelson Lake. We hope you enjoy our…
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Middlefield, CT - Porch Chat - That's Not My Cat
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Middlefield, CT - Jerry is a Human Mr. Potato Head & Peaches Has Been Taken by Bats
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Welcome to Middlefield, Connecticut! Middlefield is located in central Connecticut and has a population of 4,200. The town seal seems to sum up the town up quite well. Designed by long time resident Donald Ginter, the seal is a view of the town as seen through a rifle scope. Lyman Gunsight Co. began in the town in the late 19th century. The crossha…
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Sulphur, LA - Porch Chat - The Terrible and Confusing Lives of Lobsters
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Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Sulphur, LA - Chicken Soup for the Self-Cannibalizing Soul
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Welcome to Sulphur, Louisiana, the "Pride of Southwest Louisiana!" Sulphur is located in the southwest corner of Louisiana and is named for the sulphur mines that were operated in the area in the 1900s. The town is one of the points of interest along the Creole Nature Trail. We hope you enjoy our visit to Sulphur! Small Town News--whose headline is…
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Searcy, AR - Porch Chat - From Candy Daddies to Metaphorical Septic Tanks
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Searcy, AR - Only Neil Knows How to Judge Pies and Make Plants Live
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Welcome to Searcy, Arkansas, "The city where thousands live as millions wish they could!" Searcy is the county seat of White County and is located in central Arkansas. Searcy was located along the path of totality during the recent solar eclipse. The town developed a website for the event including some of the main attractions in the area. The hist…
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Tifton, GA - Porch Chat - We Make Music with Our Mouths
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Tifton, GA - We Raffle Off a Pretty Good Slice of Pie, a Ghostbusters Jacket, & a Toy You Can't Play With
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Welcome to Tifton, Georgia, "The Friendly City!" Tifton is located in Tift County in southern Georgia. The town and county were named after lumber magnate Henry Harding Tift who established the mill town that ultimately became Tifton. The Georgia Museum of Agriculture is located in the area. It is a 95 acre site consisting of the museum, two 19th c…
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Chadron, NE - Back Porch Chat - When a Conversation Goes from John Wilkes Booth to Castration
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Chadron, NE - Being Cold at the Interpretive Zoo Makes Us Cut Down to Brass Tacks
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Welcome to Chadron, Nebraska! The town is the seat of Dawes County and is located in the northwest corner of the state near the border with South Dakota. A former fur trading post, the town is home to the Museum of the Fur Trade. In addition to the items you would expect to find at a museum of fur trading, they also have an heirloom garden featurin…
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Ada, OK - Porch Chat - 15 Minute Documentaries and Other Things We Watch
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Ada, OK - We Do Stupid Shamefully Because We Have Free Will. Also Godzilla Shows Up.
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Welcome to Ada, Oklahoma, a "Small Town with Big Opportunity!" Ada is the county seat of Pontotoc County and is the capital of the Chickasaw Nation. Ada was incorporated in 1901 and grew quickly with the arrival of the railroad. Ada is home to the McSwain Theatre. Originally built in 1920 to show silent films and host Vaudeville shows, the theatre …
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Geneseo, IL - Porch Chat - From Elvis to Stanley Cups
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Geneseo, IL - Dr. Jess Renames a Town and We Get Vouchers for a Dental Airbnb
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We're back with a full episode! This week we are in Geneseo, Illinois...or are we in Genesco? If our steadfast leader Dr. Jess tells us it is spelled Genesco, then that's the new name of the town. This delightful small town is about 150 miles west of Chicago, and has been around for close to 200 years. A main stop on the Grand Excursion, the birthp…
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Back Porch Chat - From Airport Etiquette to Disappearing Rabbits
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We are spending one more week on the back porch. Last week a vase full of water and a cat conspired to sabotage the laptop that houses our data. We will be back next week with a full episode. In the meantime, enjoy this back porch chat. Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprov…
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Xenia, OH - Porch Chat - Ziplock Bags, Squatty Potties, and Encyclopedias
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Xenia, OH - We Watch a Video About How to Feed Kimchi to Skin Rabbits
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Welcome to Xenia, Ohio, "The City of Hospitality!" Xenia is located about 15 minutes from Dayton and has a population of nearly 26,000. The town was founded in 1803 and is the county seat of Greene County. In 1974 Xenia was hit by an F5 tornado during the 1974 Super Outbreak causing major destruction and displacing 10,000 people. The town was featu…
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Porch Chat - The Chronicles of Zaxby's Grilled Cheese Sandwich
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Back Porch Chat - From Urinal Music to Square Heads
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Gaffney, SC - Porch Chat - Safari Hats Are Hard & Cowboy Hats Are Not
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Gaffney, SC - Andie McDowell Knows that George Is a Lawyer
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Welcome to Gaffney, South Carolina, "The Peach Capital of South Carolina!" Gaffney is located in northern SC in the Upcountry in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains. Originally settled in 1804 by Michael Robert Gaffney, the town has three historic districts, the Peachoid, and is close to many hiking trails and other outdoor activities. The to…
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Collingswood, NJ - Porch Chat - Climbing On Stuff and Jumping Off Stuff
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Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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Collingswood, NJ - We Vote on a Garbage State for the USA
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Welcome to Collingswood, New Jersey, "Festival Capital of South Jersey!" Collingswood was founded in the late 17th century by Quakers and was completely dry until 2015. The town is located about 5 miles east of Philadelphia across the Delaware River. Collingswood hosts an amazing number of festivals and events throughout the year. Festivals include…
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New Year's Eve Special - Porch Chat - The Story About Why George Isn't Using Ice
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Small Town News--whose headline is it, anyway? @SmallTownNewsImprovBởi Small Town News
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