can cook, not slut

Big Cigarette

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Đã thêm cách đây ba năm

Nội dung được cung cấp bởi Big Cigarette™, Leah Langford, and April Porteneuve. Tất cả nội dung podcast bao gồm các tập, đồ họa và mô tả podcast đều được Big Cigarette™, Leah Langford, and April Porteneuve hoặc đối tác nền tảng podcast của họ tải lên và cung cấp trực tiếp. Nếu bạn cho rằng ai đó đang sử dụng tác phẩm có bản quyền của bạn mà không có sự cho phép của bạn, bạn có thể làm theo quy trình được nêu ở đây https://vi.player.fm/legal.

Mind The Business: Small Business Success Stories

1
Understanding Taxes as a Newly Formed Small Business - Part 2 of the Small Business Starter Kit 28:24

cách đây 16 ngày trước28:24

Nghe Sau

Danh sách

Thích

Đã thích

28:24

In our second installment of the Small Business Starter Kit series - we’re tackling a topic that’s sometimes tricky, sometimes confusing, but ever-present: taxes. Hosts Austin and Jannese have an insightful conversation with entrepreneur Isabella Rosal who started 7th Sky Ventures , an exporter and distributor of craft spirits, beer, and wine. Having lived and worked in two different countries and started a company in a heavily-regulated field, Isabella is no stranger to navigating the paperwork-laden and jargon-infused maze of properly understanding taxes for a newly formed small business. Join us as she shares her story and provides valuable insight into how to tackle your business’ taxes - so they don’t tackle you. Learn more about how QuickBooks can help you grow your business: QuickBooks.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.…

cách đây 3 năm trước 1:18:53

MP3•Trang chủ episode

Hello friend - Big Cigarette™ is working overtime in the emotional labor department and is currently at capacity. Is there someone else you can talk to? Text Joe30330 to receive affirmations. This week, we're afraid of the internet. We chat about some *buzz words* - the evolution of #tradwife - parasocial relationships - if (April) leaves a suicide note, it will be a hyperlink to the new Fox singing competition, Alter Ego. We're simply unlike other women. xo

https://www.instagram.com/bigcigarette_pod/

28 tập

#Society #Cinema #Comedy #Big Cigarette #April Porteneuve #Leah Langford #Movies #Pop Culture #Arts #Celebrities #Culture #Film #Gossip #Music #News #Television

can cook, not slut

Big Cigarette

published cách đây 3 năm trước

Chia sẻ

MP3•Trang chủ episode

https://www.instagram.com/bigcigarette_pod/

28 tập

#Society #Cinema #Comedy #Big Cigarette #April Porteneuve #Leah Langford #Movies #Pop Culture #Arts #Celebrities #Culture #Film #Gossip #Music #News #Television

Tất cả các tập

1
The Bimbofication of Megan Fox 1:33:55

cách đây 3 years trước1:33:55

1:33:55

Hey. We're coming at you this week from way atop our high horse. We may or may not have predicted/manifested some stories in the news lately. Ezra is escalating. Elon continues to spawn and Nick Cannon noticed. Megan Fox is glamorizing the infantilization of men and must be stopped. (april's okay with woody allen if it's just soon-yi) Machine Gun Kelly is a part of this whole thing somewhere and WE HAVE GOOD THINGS TO SAY OKAY?? PUT THE GUN DOWN COLSON WE LIKE THE ALBUM!! hard.…

1
Ezra Miller Bought Us a Horse 1:42:16

cách đây 3 years trước1:42:16

1:42:16

Greetings, enemies. We've been busy fighting dark NRG, tf you up to? There will come a time when you realize you no longer have power over us - a time when you will know us only by the trail of chaos in our wake. Endowed with the energy of The Flash (the ring is very important), we dart from topic to topic: Elon Musk keeps making children because his old ones hate him; Lizzo invented a new slur; Ezra Miller is giving #cultleader and if someone dies - we called it. Remember Rob Schneider? yeah okay we talk about the fucking interview I'M SORRY it's audacious what are we supposed to do xx…

1
Child'n Out 1:36:40

cách đây 3 years trước1:36:40

1:36:40

Well Cigs, the Hearpp trial is over. Non-horny ladies around the globe are grieving the end of women's rights (to defame). After an immersive two months, we're just grateful to change our shit-stained sheets and imbibe some lighter fare. Per usual, we need to talk about Kevin and his alleged LSD/non-binary grooming of Standing Rock Reservation child activist, Tokata Iron Eyes. Then we need to talk about Nick Cannon and his godly poly journey to populate the Earth with Z-named children. Why does he wear a turban? Great question. We round out the episode with a celebration of Bertney's nuptials and First Husband™ Jason Alexander's attempt to crash the wedding 6 hours before it actually started. Peace, Love, and Light to Elaine Bredehoft.…

1
The Case Against Amber Turd: Part 3 2:15:24

cách đây 3 years trước2:15:24

2:15:24

Greetings to all our right wing extremists, "Men's Rights Activists", and ladies that discovered clit to Edward Scissorhands. Unfortunately for everyone, here's another bloated episode dedicated to AH's performance of a lifetime. Keen eyes saw no tears, officers saw no injuries, and Elaine can't see her mic. Now listen, I know it seems like we have some sort of implicit bias against Ms. Heard, but we implore you - ignore everything you've heard over the course of six weeks because we have literally no incentive to lie and we humbly ask you give us just $350,000 in punitive damages so I can retire after this nightmare. Credit to: https://www.youtube.com/c/LegalBytesMedia https://www.youtube.com/c/TheEmilyDBaker https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqHZdrDcZhhRO11m67Tgz4A https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg0C-N_MPYYOXyF4T3jMxNQ Soundtrack: Dad's Mayo "Wannabe Down With the Sickness" Hole "Miss World" Blac Youngsta "Saving Money" Three Dog Night "Liar" Bonnie Raitt "Since I Met You"…

1
The Case Against Amber Turd: Part 2 2:16:04

cách đây 3 years trước2:16:04

2:16:04

Hello #truthers, VapeGods™, and dookie detectives - Welcome to Part 2 of our series detailing the Hearpp pandemic. In this episode, we're covering highlights from the first half of the trial. We're talking Milani, Starbucks, the lazy LAPD, metadata - and that's just the opening statements. We'll be reviewing key witness testimony, the court of law vs the court of public opinion, and the media's disparate analysis of the viral #teamJohnny "movement" online. Who saw Johnny's penis? Who bought the muffins? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FINGIE? * pulls up in a Mustang convertible * "Get in loser, we're going to Coachella." xx Thank you to LegalBytes and Emily D. Baker on Youtube - follow their channels for daily trial coverage with legal expertise. https://www.youtube.com/c/LegalBytesMedia https://www.youtube.com/c/TheEmilyDBaker…

1
The Case Against Amber Turd: Part 1 1:24:44

cách đây 3 years trước1:24:44

1:24:44

Hellllllooo poppet. Could you be a doll and pass the Adderall? We're gonna need it to get through this *literal* shit show. Man, we were really overdue for another lawsuit between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, and Johnny - the Southern gentleman, he is - much obliged. In preparation for the next few weeks of Defamation 2: Virginia Edition, allow us to present a thoroughly researched, feverishly assembled, YouTube-radicalized examination of how often that BITCH BE LYYYYYYING DUDE. Find out what Vanity Fair DOESN'T want you to know (flouride). toodoloo luv https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2022/04/johnny-depp-amber-heard-us-virginia-defamation-trial…

1
Bad Marriage 4 Lyfe 1:22:15

cách đây 3 years trước1:22:15

1:22:15

Ladies, Gentlemen, Ukrainian Refugees™ - Welcome to Big Cigarette. We will be your vessels of love this evening. Leah has returned from Australia and literally didn't see a single fucking continental creature besides something called a "bin chicken." In her absence, our tarot reading unleashed a series of chaotic events - Hilaria convinced Alec to deposit more cash into her vending machine of joy. Ezra Miller disrespected Lady Gaga and the couple he was unicorning in Hawaii. The slaaaaap. We missed you so much. xoxo kings…

1
Skeetphoria 1:43:18

cách đây 3 years trước1:43:18

1:43:18

Hey. Leah abandoned us to go get an eyebrow piercing in Australia so I've been softly weeping and hiding behind a shower curtain and spending hours a day doing Gua Sha and YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ITS LIKE AND I KNOW YOU'RE JUDGING ME WHEN I DID NOTHING WRONG AND IM THE HAPPIEST AND MOST LYMPHATICALLY DRAINED THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE. Anywaaaay..... since Leah's gonna be Down Under (ew) for however long it takes an eyebrow piercing to heal, what do you say we have an extra-long (ew!) episode to keep us company until Mommy gets home (i'm the villian). If you came to the episode summary looking for clarity about what we're talking about this week then I regret to inform you that's not what we do here. xoxo with love and light *April* <3 https://www.instagram.com/bigcigarette_pod/…

1
Victoria's Secret (chromosome) 1:19:36

cách đây 3 years trước1:19:36

1:19:36

Well cigs, we're grieving. Art is dead. Love is dead. But our vision is Krystal Klear. We bid farewell to some of our favorite couples this week so please be compassionate while we heal. As the Lord shuts the door on Ye-lia, he opens a window... it's a conference room... a group of marketing executives are huddled *silently* at the head of a white lucite table. Their faces bear varying degrees of desperation and concern, discomfort and wild-eyed resolve, as they regard a neat selection of photographs on the table. The karmic force of L Brands still lingers in the air, invulnerable to the rebranding, restaffing, refurnishing, realignment, Reiki, Rapinoe, REBIRTH of Victoria's Secret, Inc.... at last, one of them is compelled to break reticence: "Look, I understand this is a sensitive decision. There's a lot of complicated feelings, it's a minefield out there! So I understand the desire to just play it safe, I really do. But I want you folks to take yourselves out of the equation for a moment and I want you to think about the promise we made when we freed ourselves from corporate toxicity, reconnected with our core mission, and became an empowered independent company again. Victoria's Secret is about making women, and erm, female presenting persons feel beautiful! I don't know about you, but I see a beautiful woman in those pictures. I see a woman that deserves to have her dream come true. I don't want to play it safe! Where's the heart? Where's the commitment to What Women Want™? We can't let our own fears get in the way of making that girl's dream come true. What do you say, team? Let's fucking make history." Also we talk about Botox and TV and hype India. xoxo https://www.instagram.com/bigcigarette_pod/…

1
The Whoopi Goldberg Experience 1:17:57

cách đây 3 years trước1:17:57

1:17:57

What's up freak bitches, welcome to The Big Cigarette Experience. We took a shit ton of testosterone replacement hormones and high potency edibles and we're ready to spit some hot takes. We start the ep with some fun stuff - Ye told everyone in New York that Pete has AIDS, Pim Kardavidson went on a date with Bezos, RiRi made a bb and we already love it, and, obviously, Nick Cannon. Then we obey God's will and step into the spin zone to discuss Whoopi's "dangerous" rhetoric on The View, and the lamestream's latest attempt to K.O. Joe Ro. *DISCLAIMER - WE ARE NOT JOURNALISTS/DOCTORS/PARENTS PLZ VISIT THE LINK BELOW FOR COVID-19 RESOURCES* xxxooo https://www.instagram.com/bigcigarette_pod/…

1
Our Date With Juliye 1:27:18

cách đây 3 years trước1:27:18

1:27:18

Hi, it's ciggy. You've probably seen the news, and yes! It's true, we're still high on the, like, pheromone oils exchanged while like literally forming the most organic relationship of our lives. We're totally just getting to know each otherrr and like talking so fast and nooo we're not putting any labels on it except like the truly essential ones like artist, muse, creative collaborator...anyway if you're so interested in us, maybe you should like listen to our podcast, like come to our art show, i dont know like, buy our self-published book of poetry (titled Ruminations Had Smoking Big Cig: i'm a bad girl/that's good 4 u ) that reflects on our experience growing up a horny child pick pocket in new york. we're gonna keep doing us either way bitch like we can't help that we're honest. WE'RE DATING JULIYE. WE DID FUCK THE WEEKND. *mwuah mwuah* ciao https://www.instagram.com/bigcigarette_pod/…

1
The Kurse of Khloé 1:17:02

cách đây 3 years trước1:17:02

1:17:02

Well, hi. We were busy attending the Omarion Variant Tour and lost all sense of time, space, smell, taste, etc. Fortunately, our sense of duty prevailed, our intensive holistic immunization procedures concluded, and our paternity tests have determined ... YOU ARE THE FATHER. Khloé has egg on her face again since news broke that Tristan Thompson preferred the eggs of some other slim/thick/insta/heaux. How many NBA players does it take to fix a Kardashian? In other #girlboss news, we discuss the prison potential for our guilty gals, Ghislane and Liz. missed u <3…

1
12 Angry Cigs 1:13:28

cách đây 3 years trước1:13:28

1:13:28

ALL RISE FOR THE HONORABLE JUDGE CIGARETTE. *gavel gavel* Court is now in session. There's a lot of celebs on the naughty list this year: Jussie, TSwift, Holmes, Duggar, Baldwin, and MORE. But we're two very good girls with incredible judgement. We've been chain smoking cigarettes in a tiny office with a dim lamp, we've considered all the mens rea, and we've been found in contempt of court; so allow us to present an extrajudicial Christmas treat - 12 Angry Cigs: The Justice Episode. Cozy up to your Netflix hearth and prepare to be outraged. xoxo court is ADJOURNED. Free legal advice: https://www.instagram.com/bigcigarette_pod/…

1
Father, Son, and House of Carter 1:24:19

cách đây 3 years trước1:24:19

1:24:19

Ciao ciggies, benvenuti. We've been preparing for months to enjoy House of Gucci and yet... the only thing worth remark was the value of Jared Leto's method acting. After a tepid review, we decided to show Ridley Scott a thing or two about *character development* and tackled a house even greater than Gucci - The House of Carters. Light a cig, huff something potent, and go live on Instagram because that's the only way you guys are gonna understand this. with love & light, BC <3 Pleeeazuuhh, clickah da leeenkuh grazieeee miiiillle https://www.instagram.com/bigcigarette_pod/…

1
Look What You Made Us Do (sell sex toys) 1:21:05

cách đây 3 years trước1:21:05

1:21:05

Hey, Cigs. We took a little holiday break for some uninterrupted gratitude. Now we're back, and feeling *sexually well* -- so well, in fact, we're excited to announce we've teamed up with @bellesaboutique to create a revolutionary pleasure device: The InCIGerator™. Crafted with gender neutral silicone, this non-toxic vibe is perfect for literally anyone. I mean, we're retarded and this is our vibrator. Invigorate yourself with a true-to-scale replica of a Gauloises cigarette that we can legally sell as a sex toy because it vibrates. In other news, Kardavidsian is still happening, Flava Flav was there, and we were all subjected to "Taylor's Version" of last week. yaaaa boiiii kissesesses link in bio for sex toy https://www.instagram.com/bigcigarette_pod/…

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