Ep. 63 - What's The Hardest Year of Marriage, And Why Jewelry Is The Right Gift To Give For Your Anniversary?

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“So what’s the hardest year of marriage?” You may be surprised to hear that I've been asked that question more than once. (Unless you're married. Then you know it's not an uncommon question, especially when you're talking to young men who are about to get married.)

I actually used to ask that same question as a young lad working behind the jewelry counter. It was a nice ice breaker when someone was in the store looking for an anniversary gift. One day I asked a certain gentleman that question, and he reframed it for me, then gave me an answer that I'll never forget.

He said something like, "It’s not about which years are the hardest, it’s about which ones are the most important.”

I said, “Okay, so which one is the most important then?”

He said, “The one you’re in.”

Ka-pow!

Simple, awesome, and profound, and I’ve never forgotten that. (Even if I don’t act like I know this secret every day of my marriage.)

So what does this have to do with jewelry?

Well, there are certain anniversaries that are considered milestones, and these are the ones that guys tend to buy jewelry for, because women tend to ask for it at these times.

These are the anniversaries that end in either a zero or a five. For example, the 5th, 10th, 15th or 20th, etc.

Does that mean if you’re celebrating an anniversary that does not end in a five or a zero you shouldn’t give an important piece of jewelry to mark the occasion? Should you wait til your 10th anniversary if this is your 8th?

In a word: no.

Let me reframe how we think about wedding anniversaries, and what we’re trying to say when we give fine jewelry for these occasions to explain what I mean.

On the surface, it seems like what we’re saying when we give jewelry for an anniversary is, “Wow! We got married 8 years ago today (or 10, or 14, etc), and I love you. Happy Anniversary!”

It's true, you are saying that, but I learned another listen from a completely different person, that is worth passing on. He said what we're really saying when we give fine jewelry to celebrate an Anniversary is, "Happy Anniversary. I love you. We made it another year…let’s keep going!”

It doesn’t matter a whole lot which year you’re celebrating when you think about it like that now does it?

Recap: The most important year of marriage is the one you’re in, and when you cross the finish line of that year, you’re crossing the starting line of the next one, and that’s when jewelry is the perfect way to mark those milestones, and communicate what's in our heads and our hearts.

I would be remiss if I didn’t have some suggestions about what kind of jewelry to give as an anniversary gift. There are a few classics that are always appropriate, and I tell you what those are in Episode 5 called “The Top Five Jewelry Gift Guide for Guys.”

These are fail safe gifts, and giving any one of these five gifts for your anniversary is a home run.

If you want to talk with me personally you can email me at [e-mail]. I'm happy to personally help you find the right jewelry for your special occasion, or put you in touch with a jewelry pro that's closer to home.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987