Mindful Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff

Compassionate Accountability Podcast

Dr. Nathan Regier, your host, welcomes Dr. Kristin Neff to today’s episode.

Dr. Neff is a researcher, an author, and a business owner she's been recognized as one of the world's most influential research psychologists. Dr. Neff is a pioneer in the study of self-compassion, she was the first one to define and measure the construct almost twenty years ago operationally. Dr. Neff received her doctorate from the University of California at Berkley and is currently an associate professor of Educational Psychology at UT Austin. In addition to writing numerous academic articles and chapters on the topic, she is the author of the book Self-compassion: The Proven Power to Being Kind to Yourself and Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive. In conjunction with her colleague Dr. Chris Germer, she has developed an empirically supported training program called Mindful Self-Compassion which is taught by thousands of teachers worldwide. She's also co-founder of the non-profit Center for Mindful Self-Compassion. Dr. Neff is bringing compassion to the workplace in so many different ways!

In this Episode:

• How Kristin got interested in studying self-compassion.
• How is self-compassion different from other kinds of compassion?
• What are the three components of self-compassion?
• How self-compassion increases responsibility, agency and resilience.
• What’s the difference between fierce and tender self-compassion?
• Why is self-compassion more stable than self-efficacy or self-esteem?
• What are the workplace benefits of self-compassion?

Key Takeaways:

[2:18] How did Dr. Neff get interested in the field of self-compassion?

[3:46] Dr. Neff distinguishes self-compassion from other forms of compassion.

[4:11] Dr. Neff shares her three-component model for compassion.

[5:44] Dr. Nate and Dr. Neff talk about the origins of the word compassion: Suffering with others.

[8:50] Do we suffer alone? That thought is scary and isolating.

[9:36] Dr. Neff discusses the number one blockage for self-compassion.

[10:21] Self-compassion is a more effective motivator than self-criticism.

[12:44] Compassion and accountability cannot live without each other.

[13:04] Tender vs. fierce self-compassion.

[15:00] Dr. Neff uses the analogy of being a good and compassionate parent.

[16:17] Dr. Neff addresses the fact that some help is well-intended but ineffective (not alleviating suffering).

[18:03] Self-efficacy, self-esteem, and self-compassion provide a sense of value and worth.

[21:43]. Dr. Neff talks about her new book Fierce Self Compassion.

[24:55] What role does self-compassion play in business?

[27:07] How does conflict fit in the practice of self-compassion?

[29:20] There is a lot of energy in conflict that we are misusing.

[31:55] Dr. Neff advises people on how to start addressing self-compassion.

[34:25] Self-compassion is also a spiritual practice.

[35:40] Dr. Nate shares the top three takeaways from an insightful conversation with Dr. Neff.

Mentioned in this episode:

The Compassion Mindset

Check Dr. Neff’s website

Tweetables:

“You can be intentionally kind and supportive to yourself.” #oncompassion

“The number one block for self-compassion is people thinking that they have to be tougher and harder with themselves, and giving themselves a break seems like lowering their standards .” #oncompassion

“Self-compassion is a more effective motivator than self-criticism.” #oncompassion

“It is not compassionate to let people off the hook.” #oncompassion

“Self-compassion reduces burnout and increases work-life balance.” #oncompassion