Derek Sivers on How to Negotiate Anything, The Joys of Parenthood & Why Nothing You Believe is True

Curious Humans with Jonny Miller

When I first started this podcast, I had Derek Sivers in mind as the archetypal curious human — and to this day, I think of him as one of the most interesting and provocative philosophers of life. His career path involved joining the circus as a ringleader, then becoming a professional musician and touring, building a company and selling it for $22 million dollars, then giving most of the money away to charity, then becoming a TED speaker and author... to now where he's a minimalist living in New Zealand as a full-time dad.

In this conversation, you can expect to learn the following:

🏙️ His unexpected love affair with Dubai
🤔 Why nothing you believe is actually true
📝 How he journals to find sanity for himself
🤝 What he's learned about negotiation skills
🛠️ Why he created a 'Making Room' in his house
🗺️ How it's possible to have too much freedom in your life
👨‍👦 Why he feels that his son is his best friend and soulmate

Timestamps

[00:08:56] Derek didn't have much curiosity until later in life.

[00:12:20] Rebellious streak seeks balance in all situations.

[00:18:55] Having total freedom can feel disorienting.

[00:25:17] Choose independence, then commit for best results.

[00:29:14] We don't really know why we do things.

[00:35:00] Journaling: Derek's way to process thoughts and find clarity.

[00:43:32] Brain awake, busy day of writing.

[00:49:48] Sister's chaotic household convinced me: no kids.

[00:54:45] Choosing mice for breeding: defying expectations.

[00:57:08] Teach kids to talk confidently and be makers.

[01:05:56] Money obsession feels like a mental disorder.

[01:10:52] The Red Cross can't do much, donate wisely.

[01:17:38] Negotiate Anything by Herb Cohen is a book full of relatable stories that emphasize the idea that everything is negotiable. The author, a professional negotiator, shares his experiences and challenges the notion of non-negotiable things. It's a thought-provoking read that sticks with you.

[01:21:05] Book: "You Can Negotiate Anything" - rating: 10/10. Talks about realizing power in any situation. Prisoner example shows hidden power. Violence comes from feeling powerless. Realize your power in any situation. Must-read.

[01:27:15] Movies portrayed sex as something men want, women don't.

[01:32:45] Dubai is a fascinating, diverse and foreigner-filled place.

[01:38:45] Python: a newfound love, Dubai.

[01:44:21] Aspiration: be read even after death.

Official Links

✉️ Email Derek personally here: [e-mail]
📚 Derek's Book Reviews
🙋‍♂️ Derek's /now page
📖 Buy his masterpiece How to Live (don't buy on Amazon!)

Connect + Follow Jonny:

🐦 Follow on Twitter @jonnym1ller
💌 Subscribe to the Curious Humans Newsletter
🫁 Learn more about Nervous System Mastery
🙋‍♂️ Join Five to Thrive — a zero-cost educational email series.

Episode Sponsors

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Further Ways to Support the Podcast:

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