Ep. 15 - Meet My Ogres

Finding Forgiveness; a Family Fairy Tale

This episode contains reflection of child abuse and domestic violence. Listen with care.

Join me as I open up about three pivotal moments throughout my life where I faced daunting challenges in the form of ogres. These encounters left me fearful and scarred, but through therapy and self-discovery, I found the strength to confront and overcome them. From betrayal to manipulation, each ogre represents a unique struggle that shaped my journey toward healing and understanding. Tune in to discover how therapy became my beacon of hope, guiding me toward resilience and empowerment.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:34] Susan asks if you have ever met your ogres, and she introduces her ogres J, D and W

• [1:38] Susan begins by discussing her trauma inflicted by Ogre J as a young girl

• [8:22] Susan’s second Ogre is D, who appeared while she was in college, whom she had agreed to marry but then ended their relationship

• [18:21] Susan’s stepmother and father learn of Susan’s traumatic experience with Ogre D, and he stalks Susan for years, resulting in an episode of domestic violence

• [22:29] Ogre W was a manipulator and sadist, which affected deeply Susan

• [25:33] Has Susan found forgiveness toward any of her Ogre’s?

• [27:36] Susan encourages the listener to reach out to her if you want to discuss the ogres in your life

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• When a five or 6-year-old child is requested to engage in activities with another child, whether of the opposite or same sex, that makes them uneasy, they might not grasp the long-term implications of such experiences.

• When confronted with a volatile individual in a dire situation, avoid assuming you can reason with them calmly. The problem wouldn't have escalated to such extremes if they were inclined to reason.

• Therapy provides individuals with a supportive environment and professional guidance to explore and address emotional, psychological, and interpersonal challenges, ultimately fostering personal growth and well-being.

QUOTES:

“I’ve discussed this with my therapist, it was all part of keeping a secret that I'm still living with. All these years later, I do wonder about the safety and security of my friend growing up in that house with her brother, who was a troubled child and grew up to be a troubled adult. And I just hope that she was safe with him as her brother.” Susan Gibson

“I'm not ready to forgive them. I am living with these behaviors, and I live with them every day in some way, shape or another. I can say good riddance to these ogres. I can face them that way, but forgiveness, I'm not there yet. Maybe one day I will be, but I still feel the danger that they both represent in me.” Susan Gibson

RESOURCES:

Susan Gibson - Email

ABOUT THE HOST:

Susan Gibson grew up in a small town in Northern Maine, the only surviving child of parents who married young and divorced young. From the influence of their shared experiences, Susan has learned two things that are core to who she is: the value of community and the power of having a voice.

Susan has spent her entire academic and professional career as a woman in tech, starting her career as a developer in the mid-80s to today, where she is CEO of Temenos+Agility, a management consulting company she co-founded with her partner, Siraj Sirajuddin, where they help enterprises transform organizationally and personally, to find a more meaningful way to deliver value to their customers.

Susan is a frequent contributor to the Women in Tech (WiT) Regatta and speaks at public and private events worldwide, using her voice to grow communities of women, mentors and allies in tech.

Susan has many lifelong pursuits - healthy eating, fitness, yoga & meditation, music, theater, opera, reading, movies, travel, family and friends. She is also rebuilding her family’s 110-year-old homestead in Northern Maine, a true labor of love.