Talmud Class: What Happened to Rebecca? A Complex Conversation About Taking Responsibility for Our Own Lives

From the Bimah: Jewish Lessons for Life

What happened to Rebecca?

In last week’s portion (Chayeii Sarah), she is kind to camels. She offers water to thirsty Eliezer, parched from his travels, and then offers water to his camels. Eliezer immediately concludes that Rebecca is so kind she is the right partner for Isaac.

But in this week’s portion (Toldot), Rebecca is the opposite of kind. She lies to her blind and dying husband Isaac. She pits her two sons against one another. She corrupts Jacob, enlisting him in her lying scheme. She and Jacob steal the blessing that is properly due to Esau. She explodes her family.

How do we understand the trajectory of Rebecca from kindness to deceit? There are 70 faces of Torah, and tomorrow we are going to consider very different reads to this question.

Can one muster understanding and empathy for Rebecca on the grounds that Isaac was a challenging husband; that he was limited; that he was wounded; perhaps he was neurodiverse; perhaps he was traumatized in lasting ways by the akeida, in ways that made him hard to live with. Perhaps years with this difficult husband made the light go out in Rebecca’s soul.

Or do we say, no. We are responsible for our own choices. There is no way to contextualize, reframe, justify the choices Rebecca made in destroying her family. Rebecca’s descent is not about Isaac. It is about Rebecca. Which leaves us with a very different set of lessons.

One thing is certain: Rebecca’s descent is precipitous. The harder issue is: What are we to learn from it?