Episode 33-Ask the Expert: Boundaries with Teens Part 2 with guest Dr. John Townsend

HomeWord with Jim Burns

Today’s episode of HomeWord is Part 2 with renowned psychologist, author, and leadership consultant Dr. John Townsend called Ask The Expert. In a special twist on our usual interview style, Jim and John roleplay a teenager and parent Q & A with common questions your teens may be asking. Jim and John go back and forth displaying how attitude, compromise, negotiation and being curious (aka asking additional questions!) help deepen these conversations with your teen - hopefully leading to a more positive outcome. We’ve listed the timestamps below for the questions they work through during this episode. If you enjoy this style of podcast, let us know in the comments!

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

HomeWord+ Online Courses: https://homeword.com/homeword-plus/

Understanding Your Teen Seminar:

About Dr. John Townsend: https://drtownsend.com/

Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling: https://www.cui.edu/townsend

Townsend Leadership Program: https://drtownsend.com/townsend-leadership-program/

Townsend Personal and Relational Assessment Tool: https://tprat.com/

Books:

Boundaries with Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No: https://a.co/d/dxHieyj

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How To Say No to Take Control of Your Life: https://a.co/d/1wfAv9N

All Books by Dr. John Townsend: https://drtownsend.com/books/

Understanding Your Teen: Shaping Their Character, Facing Their Realities: https://a.co/d/cW4Bx1U

Questions In This Episode:

1. [3:32] I don’t even want to go to school, I don’t like it/School is boring/I know my grades are slipping but why does that even matter?
2. [7:23] Everybody looks at porn, I don’t get what the big deal is and why you’re giving such harsh consequences.
3. [12:43] Church is boring/I don’t want to go to that church/I’m having some doubts/It’s unfair that you force me to go to church
4. [21:10] I know I broke curfew again but I think losing my driving privileges is super harsh.

Jim’s Takeways

When it comes to parenting your teens:

1. Don’t even try to be their best friend.
   1. Be the parent. Have boundaries. Be the authority.
2. Be loving and understanding and help them create a plan with boundaries to live the teenage years.
3. Don’t be afraid to bring in a referee/a moderator when needed.
   1. When you need a breakthrough with your teen, look at adding in a trusted, impartial voice (think pastor/counselor). Sometimes both you and your teen need a fresh perspective on the same issue!