167: Be Your Own Fairy Godmother

IN TRANSIT with Sundae Bean

Money tossed out the window stings twice. The first zing is that it’s gone; the second is the betrayal of it not bringing what it should have brought you.

By default, entrepreneurs often lose money in their efforts to multiply it, but this isn’t what keeps most of us from reaching prosperity. Not even close. 4 common excuses prevent us from making the money we want and deserve, and I’ll tackle each one in my upcoming series.

As for this week, I’ll lament over what I recently lost. The annual conference for Families in Global Transition is a huge promotional platform for me. I grow my knowledge, pitch my services, build new connections, nurture existing ones, and have a fantastic time. (While getting a rare break from my family responsibilities.)

I couldn’t WAIT to join my friends in Bangkok, Thailand this year. Then, one email later… Sorry. Canceled. Coronavirus… And it’s over.

My disappointment flung me into something akin to the seven stages of grief. I dove into each brutal phase. Then, I stopped mourning, named what I actually missed out on, became my own fairy godmother, and stitched together a new strategy to give myself what I needed.

Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo.

What You’ll Learn in this Episode:

• Thai boxing and camel racing
• Regrouping with realistic solutions
• Expensive espressos worth every sip
• Guilt-free parenting sabbaticals
• Taking calculated risks

A huge and important p.s. on this episode. At the risk of stating the obvious, this episode is in no way about whether or where you should travel during the time of coronavirus. Rather, it is an invitation to look at your life and explore how you can get creative when it feels like the wheels are falling off. It’s an invitation to see where you DO have control, and whether you can discover an opportunity.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Registration for Expat Coach Coalition is ON, so sign up right now! Round two starts this April, and yes, choosing not to be there equals money lost.

“I joined to help me get a business off the ground that I’ve been talking about for (“ahem”) over a decade. Now, I have resources, more confidence to use them, specific plans, action steps, and a network of women that support me.” – Anna C. Seidel, Global Mobility Trainer, Expat Coach Coalition Member

• Thinking of joining the Expat Coach Coalition? Don’t hesitate to hop on the interest list here
• Ready for a Year of Transformation? Get onto the waiting list here
• Episode 166: The Rough Edges of Entrepreneurship.
• Marshall Rosenberg. Founder of Non-violent Communication.
• Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC
• Facebook Group – Expats on Purpose

We’re delighted by our nomination to the global Top 25 Expat Podcasts!

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Full Episode Transcript:

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Hello, it is 5:00 am in New York, 11:00 am in Johannesburg and 4:00 pm in Bangkok. Welcome to a very special edition of Expat Happy Hour coming at you from Doha Qatar. This is Sundae Schneider-Bean from www.sundaebean.com. I’m a solution oriented coach and intercultural strategist for individuals and organizations and I am on a mission to help you adapt and succeed when living abroad and get you through any life transition.

It was 5:15 a.m. My vision was still blurry and I grabbed my phone to check my messages on my way down to get coffee that would open my eyes. But instead something else did. It was a message that the Families in Global Transition Conference, a conference I was slated to present at, was suddenly cancelled. And just like that my heart sunk. I had invested so much joy and time and effort in anticipation of this conference, and although it was for very good reasons, it was cancelled and I was crushed.

In fact right now as I sit here in Doha, Qatar, I would have been in Bangkok, Thailand greeting my fellow members of Families in Global Transition.

But why in Doha and what that has to do with this conference, is going to be shared a little bit more. More on that in a second.

But before I do I wanted to make two special announcements of what is ahead just for you. We are heading into a really exciting time and I’m offering two things: power sessions and a brand new program for 2020.

So let’s get started before I dive into what is going on in Doha and why I’m here now. I’ll tell you quickly about the power sessions. So I have two power sessions that are offered for anyone who is an expat and is thinking about others who are living a globally mobile life. In power session one, I teach the foolproof cure for expat homesickness and how to boost your business by learning three money-blocking rookie mistakes. This power session was ran last year and the feedback was overwhelming in terms of how refreshing it felt to finally talk about money and what blocks us because it’s such a taboo.

Power session two I will offer, it’s about something I’ve tested in coaching about how to prevent top talent loss. It’s not what you think. And how you can boost your business by learning how to offer your services ick-free. So many people I know struggle with sales and say, “I don’t know if I should run my own business because I’m not very good at sales.” Kinda stops you from making money in your business.

So I am running these power sessions again because of how popular they were and the impact that made in my listeners’ lives. So join me for that. You want to find the details in the show notes.

Not only is that going on, but I’m so excited to offer round two of Expat Coach Coalition. Now Expat Coach Coalition is a complete industry proven, turnkey coaching solution for professionals who are serving expats. And I ran the first inaugural class starting November. And asking them how things were going, they unanimously agreed that Expat Coach Coalition exceeded their expectations. So I’m so proud of them and the work that they’ve done. They are world-class and I can’t wait for them to get out there into the world and implement the new tools that I’ve shared with them on coaching those in global mobility and how to rock it in their business.

So a little taste of Expat Coach Coalition. One of the participants said she joined to help her get her business off the ground that she had been talking about for over a decade and she says, “Now I have the resources, more confidence to use them, specific plans, action steps and the network of women that support me.”

So if you want to be saying that in the next few months. Check out the show notes for Expat Coach Coalition.

All right, so back to business. Last week I shared in our episode, The Rough Edges of Entrepreneurship. And if the quality of this episode sounds a little rougher than my normal episodes it’s because I am in Doha and I plug in my microphone to my laptop and it doesn’t work. In fact, I’m actually hoping that this episode records because the speed of the internet here is a 160 kilobytes as opposed to 95 megabytes back in my fiber-optic office back home. So yes, again more rough edges of entrepreneurship. And I wanted to share that with you today and in the episode because I want you to have a peek behind the curtain of what it really takes to run a location independent business. And the truth behind entrepreneurship no matter what you’re doing.

So I just think it’s important that we talk about that. And the thing is, even though those things go wrong so much works. Just like this cancellation of the conference. I had a lot riding on it and it’s an example of the rough edges that pop up.

So in the next four weeks I am going to share more about the rough stuff, the things that are holding you back. And I’m going to share specifically four excuses I see expats use to stop them from making money and doing what they love. Like honestly who does not want to make money doing what they love? And then what do we do? We use excuses to stop us from doing it. It doesn’t make any sense.

So this isn’t specifically for expat coaches, but actually any expat who is considering running a business that’s service-based or location independent. And even if you’re not interested in running your own business. It’s worth a listen to because you’ll likely see that you believe one of these excuses. And I’ll say exactly what they are at the end of this episode in another important area of your life.

So let’s focus on this week. This week’s episode, the whole picture is that I want us to focus on, where are you standing on the sidelines of your life? How can you stop yourself in your tracks and take back control, carving out more for you in your life, in your business on your own terms? So you might be asking yourself, “Sundae, how did you get to Doha? Why are you here? What’s the connection between that conference and why you’re recording from Qatar?”

And here’s the truth. When I found out that the conference was canceled that was crushed and I felt lost. From a business and a personal perspective. Loss of the face-to-face time with friends that I’ve made since 2018. Loss of the face-to-face reunions with other valued members of this community. I had three days of writing scheduled in person with another member. It was a chance for me to meet new people, a chance to learn new things, a chance to be present and potentially build relationships with potential clients. So it also means a loss of potential revenue.

And the excitement of being in another culture and around other cultures. The opportunity to interview guests for Expat Happy Hour and share that with you. And even in the spirit of fresh, I was going to take a Thai Boxing class. All of it lost.

And if I’m really honest it was also a chance for me to be alone for five minutes and not have someone under the age of 12 ask me for anything. To have a rare moment of silence by myself. Be at the hotel where no one’s going to ask you where something’s at when you’re in the bathroom. So all of that is gone with one email. And it hit me hard because so much of this conference means growth and connection and inspiration, and it was gone.

And it threw me into the very predictable seven stages of grief. Shocked, I was paralyzed from the news for a second. Denial, like “Oh my God, this isn’t happening.” Angry at the coronavirus for first stopping this. Bargaining, like “Wait a minute. Can I still go to Bangkok? Will someone meet me there? Can we still kind of do so most of what we planned?” And then just really, the depression phase, feeling in a funk like, “Ah, no, why?” And then by the time I was done being mad at the coronavirus I climbed back into my coaching pants.

And I’m sharing this with you because stuff does go wrong. And you might even have something go wrong right now even because it’s foiled by this whole global coronavirus panic and changes and risks and all of that. So I want to share this with you because there were some strategies that actually helped me pick myself up.

So here’s what I did next. And I am offering this to you now, so you can find a way to take back control of whatever is flying off the handle in your life right now.

So in the testing phase of grief and seeking realistic solutions. I was like, “Okay Sundae, what needs are being met by this Plan A?” Plan A was the conference. And when I was honest with myself, I reviewed all the things I just shared with you. Connection, the community, face-to-face time, connecting with people, learning, growing, playfulness, networking, all of that.

So I was able to name the needs. And those are needs. And the strategy was the conference. I think we confuse that often. We often confuse strategy for needs. But that’s not the case. The conference was the strategy. And now that that strategy was gone I had to ask myself, “How else can I meet those needs?”

So I got creative and I said, “Well what if I just canceled my leg from Doha to Bangkok and tried to meet some of my FIGT crew in Doha?” So I hopped on WhatsApp and I connected with people in the area and from my FIGT family. And you know what? By focusing on the needs and not the strategy here’s what I was able to line up. Face-to-face with one person from the community, face-to-face with a client who happens to live here. I’m in the process of hopefully scheduling a group presentation, even though that’s not yet set in stone. I am meeting my new project manager in person who just happens to live here, that was total serendipity. I’ve got two face-to-face podcast interviews coming your way with two expat leaders that I deeply respect. I’m still doing three days of writing that I had planned but it’s virtual instead of face-to-face. And in the spirit of fresh, instead of Thai boxing I’m going to a camel race. And just this morning I was able to wake up when I wanted and sit in silence and drink my coffee. Not bad.

And this is something I learned from Marshall Rosenberg over a decade ago. He is the founder of non-violent communication. And he talks about how complex our often usually about strategy when they should be about meeting needs. So my business conflict was only a question of, “How can I get those needs met now?” And that is the beauty of asking that question. And that is why I have a gorgeous sea view. That is why when I went jogging I had a magnificent outlook of this city. And why I had amazing hummus for breakfast this morning. Because I focused not on strategy but needs.

So is this without risk? No, absolutely, not. When I hopped on the plane, to be honest, it crossed my mind. Like “Hey, I hope the flights don’t get cancelled back in South Africa.” Like. “I hope I don’t have to quarantine in Joburg when I arrive.” Who knows. I mean, there’s not many cases here now, but who knows. I paid dearly for a hotel with no guarantee that I’m going to be able to present in front of a group of people. Or that any of these potential connections will result in business. And do not even get me started on how expensive an espresso is here.

But what feels even riskier to me, into my business is leaving my needs up to someone else’s strategy. I am not going to be a spectator of my own life and my own business.

So I’m sharing this episode with you for two purposes. I want you to ask yourself, “Where in your life are you playing the role of spectator rather than lead player?” “What strategies are going off the rails right now?” And, “What are the needs behind those strategies?” “How else could you get those met?”

So first, spectator or lead player. And second, strategies versus needs.

You deserve to be living a life and running a business where your needs are met. And sometimes the only thing getting in your way is you. I get it. I’ve been there. But I don’t stay there long. And that’s why I’m sharing it with you.

And I’ve got so much more. So don’t miss what’s coming up next. Again the next four episodes are focusing on four excuses I see all the time coming from expats just like you. Whether it’s you wanna expand your expat coaching business or you’re running a service-based business or want to be more location-independent.

I hear this all the time. “I’m not ready.” “No one will buy what I have to offer.” “I don’t have time.” And surprisingly you’ll find out more about this one. “We don’t need the money.” Find out more about these excuses in our next four episodes. And don’t forget this applies to you even if you’re not going to run a business. Because the excuse of “I don’t have time.” And “I’m not ready.” And all the other deeper things that are underneath these four excuses happen in other spheres of your life.

And I’ve got more. I can’t wait to see you there. Check out the power sessions in the show notes. And today doors open for round two of Expat Coach Coalition. Apply today to see if it will meet your needs to do what you love, serve others and make money. One of my clients said, “Before Expat Coach Coalition I was pretty stagnant. Now I’m motivated and excited. I see so many people struggling through the stressors of expat life and I’m excited to offer a doorway to a new way of living.” Another client said, “I knew I had it in me to start a business, even my friends and husband tell me I look totally different, lighter and brighter. It’s quite profound. It’s really built my conviction that I can help others succeed.” And finally another said “You’ll get sisterhood clarity and practice. To anyone who’s considering joining I’d say do it. It’s a robust program from beginning to end and you won’t regret it.”

So what are you going to say at the end of Expat Coach Coalition? I can’t wait to find out. Go ahead check out the show notes for more on Expat Coach Coalition and apply so you and I can hop on the phone and I can tell you more.

All right, everyone you’ve been listening to Expat Happy Hour today. Thank you for listening.

I’m encouraging you to think about what needs are important in your life right now that are not being met. And let’s get creative about the strategies that you can take to make it happen.

Thank you for listening. I will leave you with the words of Hall of Fame football coach Lou Holtz. “In life be a participant not a spectator.”

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