225: Business Brain Junk Mail

IN TRANSIT with Sundae Bean

A silver lining of the pandemic is the sea of opportunity it unearthed for virtual entrepreneurship. Not long ago, working remotely was regarded as “unusual,” taken less seriously, and under-respected. Now, it’s viewed as secure, mainstream, and even the preferred choice.

And what was likely the fastest and broadest global shift in business operations in history also permanently changed the game for accompanying spouses. We no longer have to settle for the table scraps of precarious employment.

Those lousy soul-sucking jobs – they’re outta here. Wave bye-bye to the awkward interviews and the eyebrow-raised questions where you’re forced to explain, over and over, all the gaps and short-stints on your resume. You can say, “SEE YA!” to the rejection from positions far beneath your skillset and equally distant from your passion.

The stigma is GONE, and now, the world is your oyster. And when they figure out how to colonize Mars, you’ll have a job there too.

This week, to wrap up Expat Coach Secrets, I’m dissolving three lies you might be telling yourself that keep you from opening the business you love.

These junk mail thoughts immobilize your potential, and their effectiveness depends on their ability to remain camouflaged. So, join me as I unwind each one to reveal (and crush) the true driver that’s underneath.

What You’ll Learn in this Episode:

• Our love for new flavors
• Feeling unworthy of abundance
• Build your client list past intimidation
• Letting money flow through you
• Don’t be a copycat

Listen to the Full Episode

When we look back on our past, we regret not taking action much more than risks that didn’t pan out. This is your LAST CALL to join Expat Coach Coalition. You do a lot for other people; isn’t it time you did something for yourself? Stop hesitating. Sign up and join your team right here.

Featured on the Show:

• Expat Coach Coalition
• Expat Coach Secrets
• Year of Transformation
• Join Expats on Fire right here.
• Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC
• Sundae’s Facebook Group – Expats on Purpose
• Amel Derragui, Business Idea Accelerator

Catch These Podcasts:

• EP221: Bad Online Manners

We’re delighted by our nomination to the global Top 25 Expat Podcasts!

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Full Episode Transcript:

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Hello. It is 5:00 am in New York, 11:00 pm in Johannesburg, and 4:00 pm in Bangkok. Welcome to the Expat Happy Hour. This is Sundae Schneider-Bean from www.sundaebean.com. I am a solution-orientated coach and intercultural strategist for individuals and organizations. I am on a mission to help you adapt and succeed when living abroad and get you through any life transition.

I have my own coach and I left a message on the weekend, and I shared these three really complex puzzles I was trying to solve. And the audio message I left was about five minutes long. At the end I said, “Okay. I know this is really long so let me recap what I’m trying to figure out here.” Okay, my coach gets the message, says, “Got it. See you on Thursday.”

On Thursday, we show up and these impossible three things that I couldn’t untangle got solved in the first seven minutes. And I felt like a fool because I was like, “Why was this so hard to figure out?” But when I sat with her and just talked it out, everything became clear and I realized this was a lot more simple than what I had been telling myself.

I share this with you to let you know that I get it. There are ways that we get wrapped up in our thoughts, where we can’t see on the other side. And sometimes just stepping back, we have a ton of clarity. In fact, a lot of times when I’m with my coaching clients when we are in a session and they come to clarity, they’re like, “God. Well that was easy.” And they say they feel silly that it was even a struggle in the beginning. But the thing is it’s the unwinding part that is the critical missing piece and then once you start that process, boom! It all becomes clear.

So in honor of our Expat Coach Secrets series that we’ve been doing all through April, I am going to unwind a few thoughts for you that I’ve seen over the years that hold you back from a business that you love. And I want to share those with you because what I’ve noticed by working with coaches and business owners for years and years is that actually when we start to unwind that one thought there’s something else that’s underneath it that’s the true driver.

So in the spirit of our last week of Expat Coach Secrets, I’m going to share that with you. Make sure that you stick around to the end because I’ll tell you what else you’ve missed and how you can still benefit from all six series, plus a little bit more information about what’s ahead.

Okay, so let’s get started.

The first thought that holds you back from a business that you love is really simple. Number 1: There are already so many others out there doing it.

Does that sound familiar? I hear that when I talk to coaches who want to work with expats, they’re saying, “Well Sundae, you’re already doing it and there’s already some really good people out there,” right?

So what’s going on with that thought, if we start to untangle it, “there are already so many others out there.” What is behind that thought? One, it could be something really, really pragmatic like, “I haven’t actually done my market research,” right? Just because there are others out there doing that, that’s actually proof of concept. So we know that there’s a market for it, but maybe you haven’t done your market research. That’s something that– I’m an interculturalist and a coach so market research was something that I tried to hide from. You know that I also partner with Amel Derragui, a Business Idea Accelerator and she and I talked about how I try to duck out of market research and I know I can’t.

So maybe if you’re worried that the market is saturated you actually haven’t done your research, right? Have you done the research to find out who’s out there? What are their needs and What needs are still not met? What problem can you help solve in a way that is unique to you? Right? So that’s it. Like for real, if you’re telling yourself, they’re already so many XYZ out there. That would be like someone who brews craft beer, “Ah, there’s already three craft beers out there. I’m not gonna make another beer,” right? That’s ridiculous. We love craft beers. We love experiencing different flavors. Some you like, some you don’t. You want to test some. Same thing with wine, “Oh, there’s already a lot of red out there. We’re not gonna create a new recipe and have this grape.” No! Wouldn’t you be sad as a consumer?

Or it could be your favorite coffee shop. Whatever that is just because something already exists doesn’t mean that you can’t create a special blend or flavor. Whatever that is, whether it’s coaching or service that you offer that fits your ideal people, right?

Now another thought behind that, I’m sorry to say if I’m really honest, is: Doubt. And it looks like this, “I doubt I can offer something unique,” right? So it’s really not about you. If you didn’t do the market research and don’t know enough, it’s actually that you doubt that you can offer something as good or better than someone else, but I would actually just say “different.”

If I think about the women that I work with through Expat Coach Coalition, I have a specific energy. I have a specific philosophy, specific life experience, but that doesn’t resonate with everyone. And if you’ve been listening to Expat Happy Hour for a long time, maybe it resonates with you but it doesn’t resonate with those people who were listeners and decided not to be. It might not resonate with someone if they’re looking for a really quiet coach, right? So it’s about the chemistry that people have.

Maybe it’s around the language that you speak. Maybe it’s the regions you’ve lived in and maybe it’s the complexity of parenting that you deal with. So really think about that if you’ve ever said to yourself, “There are already so many X Y Z’s out there,” is it because you really doubt that you can offer something unique? And I know you can, I know you can because you’re the only you out there and you’re the only one whose synapses fire exactly the way yours do. You’re the only one who has your life experience. Of course, you can offer something unique. In fact, that’s the only option you have unless you want to be a copycat and we know copycats don’t work and they also don’t resonate with your body because it feels like you’re betraying yourself.

So what I’ve noticed is on the other side of those thoughts is someone who has liberated themselves from that and are now on a fact-finding mission. Now, they’re excited to get to know their potential clients. They are hungry to discover what their needs and unmet needs are.

And the question isn’t whether they’ve got something to offer but how they’re going to get started and when? It opens up the way in which you see things.

All right. So if you’ve ever believed the thought: There are already many whoevers out there doing the thing that you’d like to do, I hope that you can see yourself in this and realize that there’s more.

Okay, let’s look at number 2. Number 1 was: There are already so many others out there doing it. Number 2 is kind of surprising for some people but here it is: I’m not motivated by money.

Okay, I hear this actually quite often. So people who I work with who want to start a business and then we get clear on what their business is, we get going and they say well, “I’m not really motivated by money.”

One, that’s a difference between business and a hobby or volunteer. But what is going on there when you say, “you’re not motivated by money”? Now, not everybody needs to be more motivated by money, right? But what is behind that statement? There are people who do not fly out of bed in the morning to make money because that’s not what’s going to serve them. What’s going to serve them, what’s going to make them fly out of bed is changing someone’s life. And I get that, I totally operate from that place, but when we believe the thought, when we say the thought, “I’m not motivated by money,” what we actually do is one or two things.

One is we might actually be believing the thought, “I don’t deserve abundance.” Right? Are you okay with money coming towards you? Are you excited about exchanging value? That if “I give you great service you’re going to thank me for that value by giving other value,” which is often an exchange of money, right? Is there actually something underneath that statement when you say it? That another truth is you believe, “I don’t deserve abundance.”

So just check. Maybe that’s not you but just check because I know that happens with quite a few people.

The other thing that I notice happening is people look at money as something that they aren’t motivated by and what they forget is that money doesn’t have to stay with you, right? It’s not that you want to get money but what about letting money flow through you?

So there’s a difference between, “gimme money” right? That you want to magnate money and that energy where it stays with you and it’s stuck with you. And then what do you do with it? Maybe you actually don’t need a ton of money because your financial needs are met or maybe part of your values are to live really simply financially. I get that, but what if you were open to money flowing through you?

And that means if you make money in your business, you can invest it in a nice photographer. You can invest it in a web team. You can invest it in someone as an assistant because if that money is flowing from you into your business and through you to other people who can support you, you can actually spend more time doing the things that you love. Like spending time with your family or working out or going out with your friends. Or meditating or volunteering, right? That if you invite that money in through selling in your business and growing your business that money can flow through you to other sources and free you up to do more that is in alignment of your values.

So for example with my business, the money that I generate in my business, a good portion of it goes to about five other female entrepreneurs who are doing what they love and what they’re really good at. So that feels amazing that that can flow from my clients through the work that we do together, through my business into other women who are doing amazing things. Other talented professionals. Or that money can flow through to supporting social justice organizations. So if you are not motivated by money, I’m not going to challenge that.

Number one as I said a way to just check, is there something underneath which is saying, “You don’t deserve abundance.” And two, what if you look at it about flow. You might not be motivated by money, but what could you do, where could the money flow and to whom could it flow, or to what values could it serve if you had it.

And I’ve always said, “I don’t value money, but I do value freedom.” So whenever I was a kid, I would get babysitting money and put half in the piggy bank and half I would spend because I wanted to be able to say, “Yes” to something specific if it came up rather than be limited by it. So there you go. Let me know if that one resonates with you.

Okay, we’ve talked about the competition. We’ve talked about money. And then this third one feels really pragmatic. This is a way that often holds people back from a business they love and it’s because of this. Number 3: I don’t know how to get clients.

I get that every year when I open up Expat Coach Coalition, there are about 40 percent of people who say their biggest challenge is not knowing how to get clients. And what I notice is that if you don’t know how to get clients, then you might not even want to start a business or you might close your business or you might keep your business really small or your revenue really low because you’re stuck in that thought, “I don’t know how to get clients,” right?

Maybe you’ve tried a few things that didn’t work out and now you’re like, “I got nothing.” But let’s look a little deeper. Let’s go under that thought. What else might be going on? This one is connected to a podcast I did a couple episodes ago, when really, when we think about this thought when we’re stuck on the, “I don’t know how to get clients,” it could really be, “I’m afraid of being rejected.”

I mean I don’t want to be rejected. That sucks. Right? That’s something I’ve had to work through in my own business and doing my own work around these ideas of rejection. But is that what’s holding you back? Is there somewhere underneath there actually a fear of being rejected and that’s why you don’t solve the puzzle of “how do I get clients?” Because what you’re really saying is, “I’m going to let my fear overcome my desire to really get paid to do what I love,” right? And if you say that out loud, you’re like, “Hell no. I don’t want that to happen.”

But we have to say it out loud. We have to articulate this to be able to notice what we’re doing. And the other thought which would actually be ridiculous because I know if you’re a listener on Expat Happy Hour, you are a learner. The thought that would be ridiculous is, “I’m unwilling to learn,” and that’s not true. It’s just a puzzle you have to solve. “Okay. Well, I don’t know how to get clients. So how do I get clients?” Right? I can learn that. That’s figure-outta-ble.

And I know you’re listening and you would never say I’m unwilling to learn. You’re probably a personal growth junkie like me and you love learning, right? But because you might be afraid of being rejected, you’re not even letting your love of learning shine through here. And what I’ve seen is my clients, when they break through these layers that are all connected, what I see on the other side is total curiosity. Like, “Hey, how do I get clients? How do I figure this out?” And I see someone who is ready to invest in relationships and get to know people and understand how they can get clients. I see someone who sees this idea of getting clients as a really neutral and loving exercise to explore the right fit. Not convincing anybody of anything but saying, “Hey, let’s meet, let’s connect and let’s see if we’re a good fit. Do we want to do this together?” Then another side of that thought is confidence and a plan, right?

So those are three thoughts that are actually camouflaged by other deeper things that are going on. And now that we’ve laid them out and can see them for what they are, you’ve got so much more leverage. So many other places that you can go.

So I’m really curious to hear from you. Which of the three thoughts have resonated with you. Just quick, Number 1 was: There are already so many others offering XYZ out there. Number 2 is: I’m not motivated by money. And Number 3 is: I don’t know how to get clients.

If you have ever thought any one of these things or notice that the under the layer thoughts that are actually accompanying them are true for you. And if they are then let’s celebrate that because now you know. Now we can do something with that and now you know you’re not alone because I’ve been doing this for a long time and that is how I come to this clarity because I see it over and over and over and it’s worth celebrating because these are all totally figure-outta-ble.

And that is the secret I wanted to reveal to you today, in our final week of Expat Coach Secrets, is that you got this! You can figure this out. If you, in your heart, have this idea of how you’d love to serve people in your community in a business, serving expats, whatever it is where you know that if you could find the right people, that you could do what you love and get paid for it. Then this is great news because now you can take a look at those other layers and start taking steps forward instead of staying stuck.

All right. So again, this is a final week of Expat Coach Secrets. I’ve shared with you so many behind-the-scenes glimpses of globally mobile life around doing business as an expat coach, around serving expats and I invited those from Expat Coach Coalition to share with you. But here’s the thing. If you are just hearing this and about Expat Coach Secrets for the first time, I’m going to tell you quickly what you missed and how you can still get all of the goodies.

Okay started out the whole series with a Power Session. Real straight talk on tools that I use with client’s. The first one was about: Best practices for preventing regret and curing expat homesickness. Plus straight talk on the three things you have to stop doing if you want to build a portable six-figure business.

And then it was followed by a session with Expat Coach Coalition graduate Maria J Devolx where she discussed: Finding Purpose Beyond a Glamorous Job. So if you’re not motivated by some job with who knows what title or it’s even possible for you because you can’t even legally work where you are, check out Maria because she’s got some real wisdom to share.

Expat Coach Secrets session 3 was with Elena Darmenko and we talked about: Introverted Expats. So much to learn in that session where if you’re introverted you can discover your superpowers and how you can use them to adapt. And if you’re extroverted you’re going to learn a lot about introverts. So that’s session 3.

I just did session 4 last week where I shared some powerful coaching tools to prevent burnout or prevent backslides. And again, straight talk on business boosting strategy, so you can offer your services “ick” free.

Today Arlette Chatlein’s session is going live as I record. I’m really excited that’s happening and it is around: Nurturing the Expat Tree: How to Grow Effective Relocation Roots.

So those are the things that you have missed. If you haven’t caught all of them go to the show notes and grab Expat Coach Secrets link where you can sign up. And if you’re already signed up, you’re going to get the recap in your inbox. So check your promotion folders if you haven’t seen that.

And when this episode goes live don’t miss our final session with Linda Mueller. She’s going to talk about: Lessons Learned by a Repeat Repat. So if you have been an expat and now you’re back to your, I’m going to say quote unquote “Home Country,” then that one will definitely be for you.

All right, all of this has been done with love from me, and Expat Coach Coalition. If you’re interested in getting more out of your life abroad, especially for those of you who’d love to serve your fellow expats, don’t miss Expat Coach Secrets because this is our final week.

This also gives you a taste, of course, of what I’ve been talking about all month, which is Expat Coach Coalition. It’s a four-month program with industry leading professionals united by our passion for serving expats. It is a turnkey solution for you that’s based on over a decade of experience so you can gain knowledge and strategies required to operate a durable and profitable coaching business which caters specifically to globally mobile individuals. It is the only training on the market like this and it is the only tool that serves expats on-demand no matter where they are and it is not to be missed.

So, you know when we look back, it’s the actions we didn’t take that we regret. So this is your last call to join Expat Coach Coalition. I would love to hop on a call with you, 1:1 or we can answer final questions in an email because this is an opportunity that will change the trajectory of your business forever. And seriously you do so much for other people, right? Isn’t it time for you to do something for yourself and for your business? So stop hesitating, sign up and join your team of Coalition members, right here. I’m in the show notes and I’ll tell you more if you want to know more.

All right, everyone, you’ve been listening to Expat Happy Hour, this is Sundae Schneider-Bean. Thank you for listening. I’ll leave you with the wisdom from Eckhart Tolle: “Observe your thoughts, don’t believe them.”

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