JP Nerbun on Embracing Pain to Embrace Culture

Intentional Performers

J.P. Nerbun is a bestselling author, leadership coach, and founder of TOC Culture Consulting, a leading global sports consulting and leadership coaching business. His mission is to help leaders and their teams achieve their full potential through 1:1 coaching, consulting, and community.

Nerbun has an impressive track record of guiding leaders at esteemed institutions such as Stanford University, Harvard University, the University of Texas, the USGA, PWC, and Chick-fil-A. His work spans across sports, education, healthcare, and business.

Nerbun is also the author of two acclaimed books: Calling Up: Discovering Your Journey to Transformational Leadership (2019) and The Culture System: A Proven Process for Creating an Extraordinary Team Culture (2022). In 2023, he launched The Culture System Online Training Platform, which has been praised for being the most comprehensive online coach education available. His podcast, Coaching Culture, is one of the top sports leadership podcasts globally.

Nerbun lives in Ireland with his wife and their three children.

J.P. had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include:

“In every step of my training [for running ultra-marathons] I kept failing massively, but I kept learning from those failures” (10:30).

“When you’re doing hard things, looking for help [and] asking for help is actually strength, it’s not weakness” (12:05).

“Our brain works against us often times as leaders” (17:10).

“Sometimes pain, reaching those rock bottoms, becomes the foundation upon which you can build” (25:30).

“Those painful moments teach us a lot, but they also make us desperate to try new things, to experiment with new things” (25:40).

“You don’t have really strong relationships with people, there’s not high levels of trust, if you don’t actually treat each other well, work hard, hold each other to a high standard” (30:50).

“[Good culture is] the connected group that works hard” (31:25).

“People want to show up to a place where they feel seen, heard, and loved” (39:15).

“[Trauma research shows that potentially] more healing than therapy itself is just being part of a connected group” (47:10).

“Can you continue to invest in your people knowing that in the long term, but maybe not the short term, the results are going to have a better chance of being what you want them to be?” (47:30).

“Character is really hard to assess, probably even harder to assess than talent” (52:15).

“I think the real quality of a coach or leader is their ability to reach the unreachables” (53:45).

“Without awareness, we can’t take ownership. We can’t make change” (58:00).

“I’m so okay with failure” (1:01:10).

“[My ability to let go of fear] came from experiencing it enough and knowing that those were the greatest moments for growth in my life” (1:02:50).

“I’m looking for where’s the next way to stretch myself, where’s the next way to enter into some of that discomfort?” (1:09:20).

Additionally, you can connect directly with J.P. via email ([e-mail]) and on Twitter. You can also purchase J.P.’s most recent book, The Culture System: A Proven Process for Creating an Extraordinary Team Culture, anywhere books are sold, and you can find The Culture System website here.

Thank you so much to J.P. for coming on the podcast!

I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers.

Thanks for listening.