@HomewithDean – Homily 08/25

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I am fascinated with the study of the human brain. I love science in general for the truths it uncovers, but I’m particularly interested in brain science mostly because I’m told I have one of my own, even though there are days when there’s very little evidence of it.And of all the things I’ve ever learned about the human brain there’s one truth in particular that has changed the way I approach my life more than any other. It’s a hard truth, but a necessary one:We now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the chief purpose and priority of the brain is survival.Whatever else your brain is capable of—joy, happiness, dreaming, hoping, loving, playing—none of these change the fact that your core system software—shaped by millions of years of singular purpose—is irrevocably locked on keeping you alive.That might not seem like a life-changing revelation at first, but it explains most of what you like least about you. It explains why, if given a choice, your brain will always choose your survival over your happiness. It explains why, of all the dreams you could have of the future, you dream the most about trouble, and potential threats, and are always obsessively questioning if you will have enough, and be enough to survive. It explains why you are naturally suspicious of others instead of being naturally embracing. It explains why, no matter how much good has come into your life, your tendency will be to take those goods for granted and still be concerned about more for tomorrow. It explains why your satisfaction, even in reaching a lifelong goal, is fleeting. Why? Because a goal achieved is now in the past, but your brain is wired to focus on what comes next. It explains why it’s so much easier to motivate you with fear than with hope.So now that I’ve really lightened your mood (sorry) let’s ask the big question: Is there a cure? The honest answer is, no. This is how we’re built. There is no cure, but there is a treatment. It’s name is gratitude.Despite this universal human condition there are some pretty damn joyful people in the world. And I can honestly tell you I’ve never met a joy-filled person who doesn’t regularly and intentionally practice gratitude. Not just occasionally feeling grateful as we all do from time to time, but regularly, intentionally practicing being grateful.Gratitude is powerful medicine. It’s not a cure, but if taken daily it can counteract the negative side-effects of a brain obsessed with surviving. Gratitude rehearses the long list of resources as if they just arrived. Gratitude eases fear. Gratitude frees you to rest. Gratitude produces contentment, and contentment counteracts worry and leaves room for happiness. You see, contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have.So this is just a reminder. A reminder to stop shaming and hating yourself for the way you think and feel, as if all those negative thoughts and worries are defective. They’re not. You’re wired for them. But this is also a reminder that you can do something about it. Not cure it, but treat it. The treatment is powerful and effective and pretty easy as treatments go. You don’t have to do any great spiritual heavy lifting. You don’t have to learn how to meditate, or pray, or take a seminar, or get into therapy. All you have to do to feel better is pause and count your blessings. Do it once a week and you’ll begin to feel lighter. Do it once a day and you’ll begin to feel radiant.Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have. Count your blessings. Show your survival bent brain it has good reason to smile, and you’ll be well on your way to building yourself a beautiful life.