Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, or The Real Glup Shitto

Marvelous! Or, the Death of Cinema

A $4 billion dollar Disney acquisition, Reddit internet flamewars, and three film trilogies of the so-called “Skywalker Saga” have finally led to this: a movie so desperate to backtrack on The Last Jedi and meet its 2019 release date that the end result is something akin to a term paper written half an hour before you’re supposed to turn it in. Rise of Skywalker isn’t so much a film as it is the apotheosis of every single horrible trend in IP blockbuster filmmaking this podcast has discussed since our very first episode, a movie that set out to please everyone and in turn satisfied absolutely nobody save for your dumbest co-worker and children with the attention spans of goldfish. JJ Abrams’ mystery box collapses in on itself in a jaw-droppingly stupid way that leaves you asking one question: how did anyone think this was okay to release?

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