The Youth Anxiety 🧠 Episode

MASKulinity Podcast

It’s been a great summer! But now it’s fall and your tween and teen sons, nephews, brothers, and cousins are back in school. Teen anxiety is on the rise with pre-teen boys feeling that stress. But there is recourse! Multihyphenate mental health advocate Kyle Mitchell joins us this week and shares his wisdom and experience with helping teenagers manage social anxiety.

• Remoy shares his experience with tween social anxiety after changing schools
  • Kyle had a very similar experience and reflects back on dealing with anxiety as a tween.
  • Turns out this experience is common among teen boys. They wanted to but had a hard time making friends and spent their time trying to avoid being noticed and judged.
• Remoy puts on his science teacher cap and lets us in on where this anxiety comes from.
  • He walks us through the brain functions and glands that cause our physical and mental development.
    • Our bodies develop faster than our mind, and we have to play catch-up to manage it all… How does that impact boys trying to survive new social situations?
    • The prefrontal cortex is responsible for a lot of our mental processes, and yet, most of us know so little about it.
  • Even if their body is physically mature, hormonal teenagers will not have a fully developed brain for another ten years. It all seems so unfair…
    • Hormones help us manage stress but are also responsible for puberty, a highly stressful time in our lives.
    • Kyle reminds us that anxiety is useful! The goal isn’t to get rid of it but to manage it.
• Teenagers develop strategies for survival in social situations that could make them feel alone.
  • Kyle shares some truths and tips about how to manage that, particularly for boys, who by that time, have already learned to repress emotional expression.
    • He stresses the importance of boys developing a friend group that they can confide in and be vulnerable with.
    • Dealing with self-esteem and confidence issues is universal even if it doesn’t feel like it and knowing that can help boys overcome the fear of sharing themselves more openly.
    • How to teach boys to be vulnerable? Kyle reframes what strength actually can look like: sharing is more than caring; it’s actually a show of strength.

How have you dealt with social anxiety over the years? What would you tell your teenage self about dealing with self-doubt and lack of confidence? We’ll say it again: sharing is caring! Share your stories and takeaways and we’ll share them with our online community!

• In our deep dive, Kyle shares his own story dealing with anxiety and how this led him to the work he does helping teens and tweens deal with theirs.
• He walks us through the strategies he used to help him manage anxiety as a young man.
  • Self-love was the missing piece for Kyle and is for a lot of boys. He shares his feelings of self-hate and what led him to a turning point.
  • Kyle is a father now and sees how his own kids deal with self-love and acceptance.
• Kyle shares his three-step process for dealing with social anxiety (37:39)
  • Exposure therapy opened a whole new world for Kyle and got him thirsting for stretching his comfort zone.
  • Rewards systems are hugely helpful. Boys
• While self-love is the name of the game, that term can be a turnoff to boys because it’s associated with femininity.
  • Kyle exposes how using the right language to draw boys into their healing.
• What was the turning point for Kyle, where he realized that anxiety wasn’t running his life anymore?
• Kyle shares how working uncomfortability into his life and his family’s life has changed everything.
  • He loves looking back on his journey going from being an anxious kid to being a public speaker helping kids with anxiety.
  • Kyle shares why his work is so important and the gratification seeing people move past their fears brings him.
• Kyle plans to visit schools with The DUDE Project this fall to help more kids deal with anxiety. Samantha had a moment of gratitude.
• Like we said above, teen anxiety is on the rise in the US. Please share this conversation with anyone who might benefit from it and check out mental health resources on our website.

Thanks for listening!