Sacrifice is Not the Same as Compromise

Romancipation

S6 Episode 3: Sacrifice is Not the Same as Compromise

Episode Summary

You sacrifice for your children, not your relationship. Why? Because sacrifice creates resentment in romantic relationships. Instead, couples should focus on compromise to make sure both people are having their wants and needs met in the relationship. An environment of reciprocity is created when each person gives a little in order to get something in return.
To be in a successful partnership, both people must be willing to work towards mutual interests that benefit each person. There will be times when one partner’s needs are a priority over the other’s. That is to be expected. The issue arises when there is a repeated pattern of one partner disproportionally gaining advantages in the relationship at the expense of the other.
Compromise signals empathy, mutual respect and accountability. It allows each person to have agency in the relationship without creating conflict and feelings of deprivation. No relationship is worth sacrificing your physical and emotional well-being.
At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss when people are blind to their partner’s bad behavior.

Show Notes

In relationships, a lot of people confuse sacrificing with compromising. The reality is these are two very distinct concepts. A sacrifice comes at the expense of one party, whereas a compromise requires both parties to give up a little something to get something. Know this: No relationship is ever worth sacrificing for unless you gain in another way.
One person always giving into the other doesn’t make for a healthy relationship. Compromise supports trust, respect, and communication, whereas sacrifice leads to a power imbalance and resentment. Both people have to be willing to put the other person’s needs ahead of their own, even in small ways.
Never sacrifice your worth, dignity, or self-respect in order to maintain a relationship. It’s a huge red flag, and it’s never worth it. You can’t disproportionately give things up to make your partner happy. Deciding to compromise out of love or compassion is totally different than allowing yourself to become a martyr.
The key to compromise is being able to communicate in an effective way. You have to be able to articulate your needs in a relationship before you can meet in the middle. Keep in mind many of us have a tendency to think selfishly and focus on what we’re giving up without considering what the other person is giving up too.
In this episode, the vent session topic is: When people are blind to their partner’s bad behavior. It indicates a lack of self-awareness and social maturity. They may be blind because they condone the behavior, are used to bad behavior, or are simply in denial. Ignorance is not bliss. Bad behaviors only magnify over time.
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