Episode 94 on Boredom, Withdraw, Resignation, and Regrets

Davidson Hang Reflections and Lessons from a life worth living

Reading Brene Brown's Atlas of the Heart and one of the chapters speaks about Boredom as one of the most complex human emotions to be with. We can distract ourselves with social media, drugs, or anything to keep our minds from just being with ourselves.

Being with boredom is tough...
How do you distract yourself with you are with Boredom?

I tend to do it by watching documentaries, Netflix, YouTube Freestyle raps with Harry Mack, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn.... What am I running away from?

I've spent over $1000 dollars a year on books and audiobooks through Audible, Amazon prime, and it's interesting because I will do everything in my power to escape boredom...

Meditation is still one of the most challenging things to be with, and it's also one of the most rewarding. The privilege to be able to sit with oneself, deprived of any distractions that involve going on a rollercoaster instead of a story around traveling the world to be happy. Don't get me wrong, traveling is pretty awesome and will always be a massive part of my life memories and experiences, but how many of us do not enjoy what we do every day from 9 to 5 that we have to escape our normal lives to be happy for a week or so?

Happiness is an interesting concept, right? It's fleeting as well. I know when I'm happy its when I'm truly present to the moment and I get wrapped up in the moment so much that I forget all of the bills and responsibilities that I have out in the world whether thats paying a mortgage or trying to "get ahead" in life through promotions and achievements.

Regrets are an interesting concept as well. We all have some regrets in life, and the more you look at it, if these things didn't happen- it wouldn't make you the unique person you are today. Some of my biggest regrets end up being a blessing in disguise because something comes along, and you label it regret. Some of my worst decisions in life were a huge lesson for me, learning from my mistakes. One of my biggest regrets is that it took me this long to forgive my father. In my holding into that resentment, it led me to be in one of the most impactful transformative personal development programs in the Landmark Worldwide. I'm grateful to be in this work because this quarter alone my team is responsible for transforming 175+ lives. So thank you, father for helping me be in this work where I get to transform lives on a daily basis. What a privilege to be alive.

Resignation is a tough one. How many times have we felt stuck in a pattern and we are resigned thinking that we have absolutely no control over the situation. Of course, there were always macro economic conditions where you live in a country that is a dictatorship or in a society where women make less money than men.

How much power does it give you to think that we are screwed, and there is nothing I can do personally to make a dent in such huge issues that we have in the world like climate change or Black Lives Matter.

Resignation is a sign that perhaps the issue is that we are not taking 100% responsible for how we show up in the world.

Being resigned means that there is something that I am not giving up in my listening that is causing me to act in a victim-like manner.

Of course, I can blame gaslighting, and we all have our moments where people are being cruel to us. The question is what am I going to do something about it, or what about that specific comment triggered me so much? A more powerful way of being is asking yourself how can I be 100% responsible for how I react to this situation?

In Man's Search for Meaning, we ask ourselves wow is my life that bad compared to how others have it? Even compared to just ten years ago, we are always living more luxurious lives as a whole. Survival is still the name of the game for so many people and I have it that there is a better way to live life.

Withdraw is the scariest out of all of these emotions. From withdraw nothing is possible. I've withdrew many times because I believe that I do not matter. The funny thing about withdraw is that nothing ever gets resolved. Whatever I resist, it persists. Just because I quit a company doesn't mean that context will never show up in a different role or opportunity. If I think my manager is a jerk, well, have I set proper boundaries that show up I will not be taking calls at 7am in the morning? When we take 100% responsible for our lives, anything is possible.

I never said it would be easy. I'll leave you with this. When we start to realize that everything in life is a choice of how I show up in the world and whether or not I'm going to watch TV today to numb myself from whatever responsibility I'm hiding from.

Of course, I have many of my own challenges that I'm working through right now with a financial advisor and my therapist. At the moment, budgeting and finances is the thing that I'm resisting the most. I live a life of hedonism and fun and its led to some of the most incredible memories in the world that I will always be grateful for. Now I get to choose to build a future that involves something bigger than just myself.

I'm curious what you got from this conversation? Feel free to share below in the comments section.