Episode 198: Seven Inaccurate Movies About Writing

The Pulp Writer Show

In this week's episode, we take a look at seven popular movies about writing & writers and take a look at what they got wrong.

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TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00 Introduction and Writing Updates

Hello everyone. Welcome to Episode 198 of The Pulp Writer Show. My name is Jonathan Moeller. Today is April 26th, 2024 and today we were talking about seven of the most inaccurate movies about writers. Before we do that, we will have writing updates, Coupon of the Week, and a Question of the Week. So let's start with Coupon of the Week. First up, let's do Coupon of the Week. This coupon code will get you 50% off the audiobook of Dragonskull: Curse of the Orc (as excellently narrated by Brad Wills) at my Payhip store. That coupon code is SPRINGORCS and that's SPRINGORCS. As always, that coupon code will be in the show notes. This coupon code is valid through May 20th, 2024. So if you need a new audiobook for spring, we have got you covered.

Now an update on my current writing projects and audiobook projects. I'm currently on Chapter 16 of Cloak of Titans. I'm not sure how many chapters it's going to end up being. My number keeps changing, but I think right now it's 25. I am over halfway through the book and I'm hoping to be past the 70,000 word point by the end of the day, if all goes well. I’m hoping to still have that out before the end of May. I am also 5,000 words into Half-Orc Paladin, which should come out this summer. After Cloak of Titans is out, my next main project will be Shield of Darkness, which I know many people have been asking about, so hopefully it will not be too much longer until I start on Shield of Darkness.

In audiobook news, Hollis McCarthy is almost done recording Ghost in the Veils, and we should hopefully have that available to listen to sometime in May. Brad Wills is currently recording the anthology Tales of the Shield Knight, which will contain over 15 of the Shield Knight short stories that I wrote for the Sevenfold Sword and Dragontiarna series, and that should also hopefully be out sometimes toward the end of May or possibly June. So that is where I’m at with my current writing and audiobook projects.

00:01:58 Question of the Week/Update on Starfield from Previous Question of the Week

Next up is Question of the Week, which is designed to inspire interesting discussions of enjoyable topics. This week's question: what is the first fantasy novel you remember reading? After all, if you're hanging around the website of Jonathan Moeller, Pulp Writer, there's a non-zero chance that you enjoy fantasy books. So it seems like a reasonable question, and it was indeed a reasonable question because we got a lot of responses.

Our first response is from Justin, who says: believe it or not, the first fantasy novel I read was The Hobbit. My older sisters had pooled their money to buy the paper version of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. I saw them reading it, and since my sisters were for once not being nasty to each other and reading together, it had to be good. After they finished The Hobbit, I asked to borrow it. It was allowed to read it as long as I didn't leave the room and wash my hands first. I was eight.

Our next response is from Mary, who says: I remember my first reading of The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. It was by no stretch of the imagination my first fantasy novel.

Our next comment is from Stuart, who says: Pawn of Prophecy by David Eddings. When I was younger/preteens, I loved adventure books like Hardy Boys and The Three Investigators. I didn't really read much in the coming years, until one day it was raining outside and being bored, I made a nuisance of myself when my older brother was trying to watch TV. He finally snapped, told me to shut up, threw Pawn of Prophecy at me, and told me to read that. The rest, as they say, is history. I went from adding Eddings to Feist and Gemmel and then on to Jordan, etcetera. I will always have a soft spot for David Eddings books, though.

So it seems the common themes here will be a sibling rivalry inspiring love of fantasy literature.

Our next response is from Grace, who says: does the Magic Treehouse series count? If not, Chronicles of Narnia.

Leanne says Dragonriders of Pern. Boy, did I want a dragon!

Melinda says Piers Anthony's Night Mare. I was in 6th grade and my friend gave it to me for my birthday.

Cheryl says: The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant. From then on, it was full steam ahead, Feist, Eddings, Tolkien, Irvine, and now most of the fantasy/sci-fi authors that are currently publishing on Kindle.

David says: probably The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis.

Kevin says: many, many moons ago it was the Earthsea trilogy by Ursula Le Guin. Then I wandered into TV and films in the sci-fi genre for a number of years, forsaking the written word. My imagination was recaptured more recently, about a decade ago, a decade ago, when a friend lent me a copy of Wizard’s First Rule by Terry Goodkind.

Alan says: I've been through most of these mentioned so far though the years but my first introduction to once he was Edgar Rice Burroughs, like Tarzan, John Carter of Mars, Pellucidar, etcetera. Then on to Tolkien.

Randy says: for me it was The Hobbit. Went on a family vacation with my uncle and his family. I was introduced to The Hobbit. My uncle will read just about every night to my cousins, and as we're all sharing the same room, my sister and I began hearing the story. We got home. I asked my dad if I could read his copy. 50 some odd years later, I'm still devouring as many books as I can.

Mike says: I am not sure which one it was, but I believe it was either The Hobbit or The Sword of Shannara.

Diana says: The Gunslinger. I said what I said.

Venus says: A Wrinkle in Time or Dragonsong. I know that the Pern books are actually science fiction, but I don't recall any of the science stuff that first time I read it. It was the first Pern book I read. The first epic fantasy I recall reading was Dragons of Autumn Twilight.

Gary says: I couldn't give you a title or author, but I definitely remember the Choose Your Own Adventure books in the fantasy genre as a young reader.

Tom said: Not 100% sure, but this is my best guess. It would be The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

Ah, the Chronicles of Narnia. What a series.

Juana says: I read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings.

Catriona says: The Hobbit after listening to the BBC Radio play adaptation in the ‘70s.

Pippa says: Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. I've reread them lots too and I've never tired of them.

Perry says: Do the Iliad, Odyssey, and Beowulf count? For modern fantasy, would be a toss-up between The Hobbit and The Belgariad.

Joy says: the Thomas Covenant series. My boyfriend at the time was into sci-fi and fantasy novels, so I borrowed it and was hooked.

A different Glenn says: either Dragonriders of Pern by Anne McCaffrey or the Riddle-Master of Hed by Patricia A. McKillip. I love them both in the same summer while visiting my dad and cannot remember which one came first, but I got hooked on fantasy fiction that summer.

Mandy says: The first time I remember reading the left an impression was the Dragonlance Legends series. My favorite fantasy series is Discworld.

Gary (a different Gary) says: First one I remember is the Elfstones of Shannara. Also, the Dragonriders of Pern and Crystal Singer series.

John says: Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander. I was nine years old. It created a lifelong love of fantasy for me.

Darla says: A Wrinkle in Time, The Faraway Lurs, and The Runaway Robot were some of the books I read as a kid. Later it was Lord of the Rings and The Dragonriders of Pern and I continue reading to this day.

Andy says first ever was the Deverry series by Katherine Kerr. It was a very intense read for 14 year old on an 8 hour drive on a family trip.

Sue says David Eddings- all his series, and Anne McCaffrey, Dragonrider series.

Brock says Lord of the Rings.

Susan says: probably Lord of the Rings, but it’s over 50 years ago. I can't really remember.

Edward says The Legend of Huma by Richard A. Knaak.

Michael says. Now there's a question! Probably The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe or one of the other Narnia books, all of which are obviously epic.

And finally, Judy says the White Mountains by John Christopher or anything by Dr. Seuss.

So I think we can see it's safe to say that if you have a small children between the ages of eight and 10 and you want to get them into fantasy literature, the best places to start would be either The Hobbit, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, or perhaps the Dragonriders of Pern.

For myself, the very first fantasy novel I ever read was Magician Master by Raymond E. Feist. What got me into that book was The Betrayal at Krondor computer game, which of course was a classic. After I finished the game, I did some reading. Remember this was way before the Internet, so you couldn't find out anything you wanted whenever you wanted and I was astonished to realize that Krondor was in fact based off an actual novel series. So I got Magician Master and started reading it. Fun fact, years later I realized that Magician Master was in fact the sequel to Magician Apprentice and went back to read the first book. So that was this week's Question of the Week.

You may remember that last week's Question of the Week was what new Xbox game I should try. Many people had excellent suggestions. I think I'm going to go with Starfield from all the suggestions last week. The reason for this is that Starfield reminds me a great deal of Wing Commander Privateer from the ‘90s. If you remember, the Wing Commander series of PC games, they’re basically Top Gun but in space. Privateer took the basic flight gameplay mechanic but changed it so you're an independent privateer captain and you had to make your way through the Gemini sector as a mercenary, a merchant, a pirate, a bounty hunter, or some combination of them.

You had to buy your own equipment and weapons and find a way to turn a profit in your jobs, since you had to pay for everything. If you played the main plots, you got involved in conspiracy involving a lost alien relic, but you don't have to do any main plot at all. You just fly around the galaxy making credits, fighting pirates, and trading. Starfield basically feels like someone took Wing Commander Privateer, and then added on a Skyrim-esque role-playing experience for when your character is on the ground. I know it got middling reviews, but I'm enjoying the game so far. Perhaps because, at least to my eye, it feels like a massively updated version of Wing Commander Privateer.

00:09:43 Main Topic: Seven of the Most Inaccurate Movies About Writers

Now we're 10 minutes into the show and still haven't gotten to our main topic, so I think it's time we should finally do that, which is Seven of the Most Inaccurate Movies About Writers. I decided to do this because I noticed that whenever a novelist or a writer of fiction turns up in a movie, the depiction of it tends to be grossly inaccurate. That's hardly unique to writers.

The joke among the military officers, former military officers, and law enforcement officers is that whenever the military or law enforcement turns up on TV, you can have a good drinking game by counting all the inaccuracies and things that they get wrong. So why should writing be any different? I think the difference might be that writing is kind of a more aspirational career, where it's the sort of career that people tend to daydream about, like going off and becoming a writer and so they tend to get a lot of things wrong about that.

So with the help of my transcriptionist, we pulled together a list of seven of the most inaccurate movies about writing. There's actually a couple of Hallmark movies on here, and this isn't to bash on Hallmark movies. I think Hallmark movies tend to be about the fantasy of romance in the way that a show like Law and Order is about the fantasy of law enforcement and criminal justice, or a movie like John Wick is about the fantasy of violence or a game like SimCity is about the fantasy of managing a large city.

The reality is of none of these things are nothing like the way they're portrayed in fiction, but instead, Law and Order is about the fantasy of what we would like the criminal justice system to be like and John Wick is kind of like, you know, a revenge fantasy of what we imagine we would do if someone actually shot our dog. So with that in mind, let's look at seven of the most inaccurate movies we found about writing.

The first one is called Winter Love Story from Hallmark in 2019. It kind of deserves the 22% it got in the Rotten Tomatometer. The plot is a debut writer who wrote a memoir is appearing on a book tour of a famous fantasy author in order to boost her sales. They travel around visiting charming bed and breakfasts with plenty of time to talk about their feelings. The fantasy writer has a dog that he really loves a lot. The movie really revolves more around the dog more than the books. Now, why is this a bad movie about writing?

For one thing, it has an unrealistic view of book tours, namely that a debut writer who is writing a memoir (which is a notoriously hard to sell genre) would be given such a lavish book tour paired with an author outside her genre. Cross-genre of sales promotions here in the real world tend not to work terribly well, because someone who wants to buy an 800 page fantasy novel about dragons is probably not going to be super interested in picking up a new writer’s memoir are about her failed dating life.

The movie also has an unrealistic view of book marketing and the involvement level and commitment of traditional publishing staff. If traditional publishing marketing staff is marketing 50 plus other writers, they're not going to follow your whimsical book tour and give tons of advice and coaching along the way. Book tours really don't sell very many books in general, to the point where Brandon Sanderson, who is probably the top selling fantasy author in the world right now, stopped doing book tours in 2020 when COVID came along (because you know, everyone had to stop doing book tours). But after all the various restrictions lifted, he found that he really wasn't interested in resuming it because of the physical drain of traveling and it turned out it had no impact on sales whatsoever.

Finally, the movie touts the very false belief that the skill of giving heartfelt, heavily autobiographical speeches is the essential skill in marketing your work. Honestly, if you want to sell books, you would have better luck learning how to use Amazon ads or Facebook ads effectively, but I expect that would not make for a very good Hallmark movie.

The second movie we're going to talk about is Lost City from 2022, which I actually saw shortly after it came out because it turned up on streaming (I think it was on Prime). I thought it was actually pretty funny, but it was not terribly accurate about the business of writing. The plot is that a romance author is struggling to finish her book. While she's on tour with her famous cover model, she gets kidnapped and the cover model must turn into an action hero and rescue her. The plot very heavily borrows from the 1980s movie Romancing the Stone, which is also about a writer. The scenery in the movie is fantastic and Daniel Radcliffe plays the villain, this insane billionaire who kidnapped Sandra Bullock's character to help find lost treasure and their reactions were pretty funny. It's not a great movie about writing. Even the romance and romantasy (which is a combination of romance and fantasy) authors topping the best seller list right now (as of April 2024) do not have press tours that are more like a fan convention with a budget for sparkly jumpsuits and lighting effects, etcetera. Cover models do not get a lot (or even any) of promotion, attention, or respect from publishers. The cover model is given top billing on the tour along with the author, which just doesn't happen.

One side note, what is probably realistic is the publisher trying to discourage tangents in full academic jargon by the author on her history related research interests. You will often find if you're reading a book that involved a lot of research on the part of the author, that the author is going to put that research into the book (whether the reader likes it or not).

Our third movie is called Alex and Emma, which came out in 2003. The plot of this movie is that an author with writer’s block has debts to a loan shark he must pay in 30 days or else the loan shark is going to get nasty. He hires a stenographer to help him church out a book and since it's a romantic comedy, you can probably guess what happens next. This movie was apparently very loosely inspired by the story of Dostoyevsky writing The Gambler/meeting his wife but is also apparently heavily inspired by the movie Paris When it Sizzles. Even with multiple sources of inspiration, it still received terrible reviews for an incoherent, unsatisfying plot. And why is this a bad movie about writing?

For one thing, it treats writing a book draft in 30 days as a near impossible feat. Not to toot my own horn, so to speak, but I'm going to write the rough draft of Cloak of Titans in under 30 days. If all goes well, it will be well over 100,000 words. There's also once again the cliche that writing already must be autobiographical and reflect what's currently happening in your life in order to be good. If that were true, all my books would be about the adventures of a middle-aged IT guy, which would be kind of boring compared to epic fantasy novels. And another thing that's unrealistic is that the struggling writer gets a $125,000 advance from the publisher, but the publisher won't help him replace a computer when it gets destroyed by a loan shark’s posse. Computers were, of course, quite a bit more expensive in 2003 than they are now, but still they cost a lot less than $125,000. So that part definitely didn't make sense.

Our 4th movie is Not Another Happy Ending, which came out in 2013. A writer becomes successful but has writer’s block when she's happy. Her publisher has to figure out how to make her unhappy so she can write again but falls in love with her in the process. And why is this a bad movie about writing? If following around most the successful writers in order to inspire them was the actual job of publishers, a few certain well known fantasy series might have at least one more book by now than they actually do. So we'll just move on from there.

The fifth one is a movie that gets made fun of a lot and rather deservedly so: Eat, Pray, Love, which came out in 2010. The plot of this, obviously, is that a reader gets divorced and goes on a journey to Italy, India, and Bali in order to “find herself” and gain writing inspiration. Why is this a bad movie about writing? So many reasons! First, there's a sort of a cliche in poor taste that writers can't be great unless they leave their spouses, that their marriage is preventing someone from devoting themselves to great writing. Although the one thing you say for Eat, Pray, Love is that it's a gender flip as opposed to the way these things usually are in movies where it's the male writer who is being held back by his wife. The reality is that people with stable home lives are more likely to be productive than people without them, and this is true across all fields of endeavor, and not just writing.

Another bad cliche is the idea that you need to bankroll a year of travel to luxury destinations in order to find inspiration to write isn't realistic or accurate, and in truth very, very, very, very, very few writers can actually afford this luxury. This type of thinking leads people to believe they need to go on expensive retreats in order to be a “real writer”, when in reality many famous writers rarely traveled. Examples: Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters, I think J.R.R. Tolkien spent most of his post-war life entirely in England, etcetera. For myself, I do most of my writing either on my couch or while sitting in a $40 office chair I bought off Amazon Basics. That is definitely a cliche that you do not need to travel in order to write. In fact, travel can get in the way of getting writing done, which was one of the Brandon Sanderson’s stated reasons for why he doesn't go on book tours too often anymore.

Our 6th movie is As Good as It Gets, which came out in 1997. The premise of this movie is that a crabby, ill-behaved writer with some mental health challenges has a series of unexpected interactions that inspire him to become a better person. And why is this an inaccurate move about writing? First, there's a cliche that writers need to use a typewriter because a computer isn't as artistic or special. I know there are writers who insist on writing things longhand and or insist on using the typewriter and they have their reasons, but it's my belief that that is in fact very inefficient, and you should probably write on whatever method is most efficient or easy for you. And if you are writing for publication and profit, that means writing on a computer. If you don't like to type, you can dictate.

There's also the idea I don't like that the idea that the reading public/critics will forgive terrible behavior or prejudice because of how brilliant you are. This is a fallacy you see across many professions where a brilliant doctor, a brilliant scientist, a brilliant politician, a brilliant writer, or whatever feels they have a license to act like a total jerk because they're so good at what they do. In reality, that often causes a lot of problems and ends up destroying the person's career. So that is a bad cliche, and one that if you're listening to this, I urge you not to put into practice in your daily life.

Our seventh and final movie is another Hallmark one called A Novel Romance, which came out in 2015. In this story, a male romance writer who uses a pen name meets a female book reviewer who is unaware of his true identity even as they grow closer. Will pressure from his publisher to reveal his true identity hurt their budding romance? What did this movie get wrong about writing? First, there's the idea that pen names are somehow deceptive or shocking, especially in the romance genre where it's very common for a single writer to have multiple pen names. A professional book critic would consider it a very strong possibility that someone is writing under a pen name, which makes you wonder how competent the book critic is as a book critic.

Publishers do not send limos to the airport for writers traveling to their personal vacation homes. If a writer is rich enough to have a limo and a personal vacation home, the writer is probably paying for it him or herself. The publisher is not. Most writing is not done on a legal pad while staring out onto the water next to your very expensive boat. Your agent, even a very nice agent (if such a thing exists) will not fly across the country multiple times in order to give you romantic advice. And finally, an author’s pen name reveal would not be front page tabloid news. So those are just some of the things that movie got wrong about writing.

So there those are 7 movies that are very inaccurate about what being a writer is like, and the point of that was not to pick on those movies (with the possible exception of Eat, Pray, Love, which deserves to be picked on) but to point out that the way they referenced what being a writer was like was often quite inaccurate, even if the movies themselves may or may not have been enjoyable for their intended audience.

So that's it for this week. Thanks for listening to The Pulp Writer Show. I hope you found it useful and a word of thanks to my transcriptionist help me to pull this list together because she's definitely seen more Hallmark movies than I have. A reminder that you can listen to all the back episodes on https://thepulpwritershow.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a review on your podcasting platform of choice. Stay safe and stay healthy and see you all next week.