Episode 1 - Alligator Spins and Poopoo Bubbles

The Lumpy Mother

Natalie and Sarah talk about bad advice for new moms, how to handle it when kids choose a favorite parent, and whether or not our kids (or us) will ever grow out of potty humor.

Resources mentioned this week include the Instagram accounts: @drbeckyathome, @biglittlefeelings, @ourmamavillage.

You can follow Lumpy Mother on Facebook and Instagram @lumpymotherpodcast or Twitter @Lumpymotherpod1.

We want to hear from you! Email us at [e-mail] with your yes, no's and hello's, or anything else you might want to share!

Welcome and thank you for checking out the first episode of The Lumpy Mother Podcast! The Lumpy Mother is a space where parents can feel less alone in their day-to-day struggles while also learning along with the hosts as they navigate this vigorous undertaking that is parenting. Let's celebrate the joys and terrors of parenthood together while making sure to laugh at ourselves and how ridiculously hard it all is at the same time.

Each week, Natalie and Sarah share a yes, no, and a hello about something going on in their parenting experience. In other words, they share something good, something bad, and something random each week. They have a feeling you'll be able to relate to all the ups, downs, twists and turns they discuss.

Episode 1 premiere's with Natalie's yes--the advice she gives to a first time parent. Traveling down this path brought with it all the horrible advice Natalie received before she had her first baby. Sleep when the baby sleeps is one such piece of horrible advice. No matter how well meaning this advice may be, it doesn't work! Not to mention, if you sleep when the baby sleeps and are still exhausted (which you will be!) it feels like there is A LOT of room for error. This common piece of bad advice is plain silly when you consider that the only time you CAN sleep is when the baby sleeps. There is also, the common saying floating around social media that accurately represents this advice which states, "fold laundry when the baby folds laundry." A truer rebuttal may yet to be revealed.

The best advice Natalie received as a new mom was actually advice that was given to her friend, Nora. Nora's older sister told her she needed to go over every week and clean for Natalie after she became a mom for the first time. Nora fulfilled this and Natalie couldn't have been more thankful, especially since she struggled with postpartum challenges. Taking care and paying attention to your Mental Health is the advice Natalie now believes is the most important to convey to anyone who is about to become a new Mom. Especially when it feels like you're supposed to be happy when you have a new baby, which is certainly not the case when so many things are going on with your body in addition to the mental load that comes along with the unforgiving sleep deprivation and such a major life transition. Natalie also advises not to compare yourself to other moms as a way to protect your mental health after you become a new Mom. It's important to remember that all of our motherhood experiences are unique to our lives and our children. It's impossible to be accurate when comparing yourself to othe Moms and isn't helpful in the least let alone realistic.

Sarah weighs in on what advice she provides someone who is about to become a new Mom and suggests being RELENTLESSLY kind to yourself! You don't have to believe the terrible thoughts that may come into your head. Those are thoughts, and you can choose whether or not you believe them. You are not alone in those terrifying thoughts that can come to you during the postpartum period. You are not a bad Mom if you have these thoughts, though it may be a sign, as it was for Sarah who had Postpartum Depression (PPD), that you need to seek help, and that's okay! Everything is going to be okay.

Sarah's turn to share her parenting yes of the week. Sarah has been attempting to practice mindfulness. Her understanding of mindfulness is that it can help regulate the nervous system and help you be more in tune with your children. Sarah has noticed that while her two year old is having a tantrum, if she is able to bring her attention to how her feet feel on the floor or notice other things in the present moment by applying her different senses, she is able to separate herself from her anger and avoid an unsavory reaction to her toddler's intense and constant tantrums.

Sarah mentions a few wonderful parenting resources who helped her come to this understanding of mindfulness and how being present with your children can be extremely beneficial. These resources are all on instagram and include @Biglittlefeelings, @ourmamavillage, and @dr.beckyathome. You can find @biglittlefeelings online at: https://biglittlefeelings.com. @ourmamavillage's website is: https://ourmamavillage.com, and definitely make sure to read the many resources of @drbeckyathome on her website at: https://drbeckyathome.com. These three resources have changed the way Sarah parents and even the way she thinks about how she parents.

On to Natalie's no for the week. Natalie's 18 month old son, Charlie, earned his public screaming badge this week. His first major meltdown in, of all places, the peaceful, the beautiful, Barnes and Noble. Natalie explains that due to the pandemic and having her three older kids home for virtual learning all day, times have been stressful to say the least. In order to avoid more chaos, Natalie realized she has been laughing at all of Charlie's behavior--desirable and undesirable-- and may have accidentally been encouraging some of the undesirable behaviors. The easiest option is often to tell her older kids to do something else if Charlie is getting upset, so Natalie has pretty much been giving in to every fit Charlie has ever had. Needlesss to say, she has accidentally created an adorable 18 month old baby monster.

Natalie survived the public tantrum, but not without morphing the store spirit of Barnes and Noble from one of intellect and relaxation to one of baby-screaming terror and chaos. She has no doubt there was a sigh of collective relief from the patrons of Barnes and Noble as she wrestled her alligator spinning baby out of the store.

Sarah's NO is surprisingly not surprisingly about meltdowns too! As the Mom of an 8 month year old (year old? eight month old! whoops;), and a 2 1/2 year old, Sarah is in the thick of the toddler meltdown madness. This week, her 2 1/2 year old has developed a parent preference for Daddy. Every morning starts with a lot of screams and alligator rolls as her strong-willed daughter screams for Daddy. It's hard on all involved, especially at seven in the morning pre-coffee, food, and the alertness of Sarah's basic bodily sensibilities.

When you're in the meltdown madness that can be the daily experience of parenting a toddler, it wears you down! When Sarah is completely worn down from the constant meltdowns, she confesses it's an all day screen time day for her...and, honestly, sometimes those days are the best days. "When I don't have any more in me, it's screen time," she explains. Sometimes that's just what a parent needs to get through the day. Sarah knows there's a lot of research out there about the negative effects of screen time, but she begs the question, what about the parents? "We are responsible for virtually every facet of this child's development. If we are about to jump off a bridge, we need to take it back, be kind to ourselves, and give some screen time!" Sarah declares, "If you're ready to jump off a bridge, it's time for screen time! You matter!" Sarah goes on to explain, "I think a part of our child's development is how well we [parents] can cope with the immense stress. The better we can cope, the better parents we can be."

Time for the Hellos! Natalie had a really weird food week in her house. As someone who's own mother was a master cook who had a hot meal on the table every night, Natalie struggles with comparing herself to her mom. It doesn't help that Natalie doesn't even like to cook but she also holds an idea in her head that for her to be a good Mom she has to have a hot meal on the table every night for her family. She is learning to come to terms with the fact that this just isn't feasible in her life.

The weird food week started with a sale on bagels at her local grocery store which meant 5 bags of bagels. Everyone was eating bagels that week for breakfast at Natalies. That night, after solo parenting for the week while her husband worked long hours, Natalie went for it and gave her kids cereal for dinner. She noticed that she wanted to feel guilty about this cereal- for- dinner decision, but was able to take it back and realize, this does not affect the way they feel loved. In fact, they probably really enjoy it! Natalie was proud she didn't let the mom-guilt seep it's way in that night. "My kids went to bed fed, happy, loved. At the end of the day, that's what matters," she said.

Sarah's hello is about her daughter's love for potty humor. In Sarah's house, poop is funny. Sarah understands that not everyone shares this kind of humor. Some people do, after all, grow up...mature...become adults, as they say. Sarah, on the other hand, has not matured in this way and she's cool with that. However, her daughter Evie, loves to repeat, "poop, poop,poop poop, mama poop," over and over. She even calls her farts poopoo bubbles! Hilarious, if you ask Sarah. This week Sarah came to the realization that her daughter will eventually have to be reintroduced to society at large once the pandemic ends. Perhaps she should calm down the declarations of POOOOP from her adorable (and hilarious) 2 year old.

Side Note: the people who reviewed home videos for America's Funniest Home Videos probably experienced trauma from some of the videos they had to view.

Back to business. Natalie goes on to note about her family's similar enjoyment of potty humor. Her kids still think potty humor is the funniest thing in the world. At one point, she had to double check to make sure her boys didn't purchase a Christmas Fart Package Extension, which is apparently a thing!

At the end of the day, Sarah and Natalie agree that they can hope that, some day, their children will, at the very least, understand the right context to apply their unsavory tastes in humor. Though this is improbable in Sarah's life as she herself is not great at knowing when best to apply her own humor... we can all hope.

And that's it! The official first episode of The Lumpy Mother Podcast! Remember, we'd love to hear from you. Email us at [e-mail] and fill us in with your yes's and no's! Or tell us, What advice to you give to someone becoming a new mom? Do you have any funny stories about your child's love of potty humor?

You can also follow us on Instagram and Facebook @lumpymotherpodcast and Twitter @lumpymotherpod1. Make sure to join us every Tuesday. You can listen to us on our website by following the link: https://lumpymother.captivate.fm, on apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts!