How to Cope With Loss, Grief, and Trauma at the Office

Faithful on the Clock

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In this episode...

How to Cope With Loss, Grief, and Trauma at the Office

https://faithfulontheclock.captivate.fm/episode/how-to-cope-with-loss-grief-and-trauma-at-the-office

Employees cope with tough stuff every day. Episode 93 of Faithful on the Clock outlines how workers and employers can get through personal difficulties in the office.

Timestamps:

[00:04] - Intro

[00:39] - This episode relates to Episode 91 about handling chaos in the world. But handling the chaos of the world and personal difficulty require a slightly different approach.

[01:33] - Employees need to be honest with employers as much as possible about what they’re going through so the employer knows how to support the employee. The story of Moses, Aaron, and Hur in the battle against the Amalekites is a good example of being willing to admit a weakness to get necessary help.

[03:11] - Resetting boundaries, such as asking people to email instead of call, can make the overwhelm of trauma, loss, etc. easier to deal with. It’s OK to make reasonable requests that will help you cope so you can continue to do your work.

[05:12] - Resist taking on more work as a mode of denying your pain. Ultimately, this tactic backfires, because when you finally can’t deny the pain anymore, there’s more on your plate that will crash.

[06:20] - When you are struggling, seek out mentors and others who might be able to lend support. They can relate to you in a way people out of the workplace cannot.

[07:25] - Employers should exercise compassion and respond well to reasonable requests when they see people struggling. People will remember kindness and reward it with loyalty.

[09:02] - Henri Nouwen’s The Wounded Healer makes the point that it’s having one other person you know will wait for you through tough times that makes a person willing to keep going. Employers can be that one person for employees who are struggling.

[11:09] - Being anticipatory about employee needs and offering them as a courtesy — even if the employee does not accept everything offered — goes a long way to convincing employees who are struggling that they are more than just a number at the company.

[12:57] - Employers also can help employees who are going through tough times by encouraging teammates to support the employee in whatever ways they can. This tactic builds a sense of community where all team members know they can count on each other for help, and where no one person has to feel like they must be the only one responsible.

[14:43] - Summary

[14:58] - Prayer

[15:39] - Outro/What’s coming up next

Key takeaways:

• Handling worldly chaos and personal difficulties at work is different in that worldly chaos often provides a rallying point for the entire group.
• Being open when you are struggling enables people to better understand and empathize, which enables them to provide better help to you.
• Struggles can necessitate the renegotiation of boundaries around work (e.g., communication, working from home).
• Avoid taking on more work during struggles, as using work to deny feelings often can backfire. The more you try to pretend like the pain isn’t there by piling on more work, the bigger the risk is that the pain will overwhelm you and lead to personal or team disappointment.
• Seek support from others at work even when you have support from loved ones, as those at work will best understand the challenges and demands work puts in your life.
• As an employer, being compassionate when someone is struggling is a key way to earn loyalty. Most employees who struggle will more than make up for anything they miss if you give them permission to be more flexible and slow down for a while to cope.
• Henri Nouwen’s The Wounded Healer emphasizes that knowing someone is waiting for us provides the courage necessary to keep going even when life is rough. Leaders can show they are willing to be there so that struggles are more bearable.
• Leaders can help those who struggle by trying to anticipate what might be helpful. Even if the worker doesn’t accept all the options presented, making some pathways available makes a positive impression.
• It’s appropriate for leaders to build a sense of community and social responsibility by encouraging other members of the team to pitch in to care for the worker in need. It’s also necessary from a practical standpoint, because no single person can be everything to someone.

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