Be Kind to ME - World Kindness Day

Believe in ME with Rhona Barton

Hello and welcome to Believe in ME with Rhona Barton.

This podcast is about all things Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME) related!

I'm Rhona and I lived with ME for almost 10 years during which time, I was bed-bound and wheelchair-bound, welcome to my Podcast.

World Kindness Day is Sunday 13th November. In this week’s episode I’m going to be chatting to you about Being Kind to ME.

You can head to www.rhonabarton.co.uk/media for more information about me and my story.

Don’t forget that you can review, share & subscribe to the podcast via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

Ok, let’s jump straight in and start with some of the basics around World Kindness Day.

World Kindness Day was introduced in 1998 by the World Kindness Movement and is observed by a number of countries.

The day highlights good deeds in the community focusing on the positive power of kindness and aims to increase the value of kindness in society as well as increase the amount of kind acts that take place.

Have you ever done something nice for somebody else just because you could? Not to repay them for anything or because you had to, but just because you could and you wanted to. If so, then you’ve done a random act of kindness! Congratulations!

Kindness is a valuable trait to have. We like kind people and being kind can help us be liked. Being kind has been shown to boost other’s well-being and also our own personal well-being. Some researchers have proposed that happiness is just the emotional experience we have when we act in ways that promote our survival. Evolutionary psychologists believe that kindness makes us happy because it helps us survive & thrive. This may be especially true when we help family, friends and spouses.

Some people are more likely to practice random acts of kindness than others. Seeing our parents engage in random acts of kindness makes it more likely that we will too. If someone tells us that we’re kind, we might also be more likely to engage in random acts of kindness.

Many of us want to try random acts of kindness but we’re just not sure how. There are a variety of ways that you can carry them out and they don’t need to cost an arm and a leg.

Here are some examples:

1. Give a compliment

2. Show gratitude

3. Write a handwritten card to someone to say thank you

4. Tell a friend what you love about their children

5. Pick up rubbish from the ground and pop it in the rubbish bin

6. Pay for somebody’s tea or coffee the next time you are at a coffee shop.

7. Sign up as a volunteer for a charity.

8. The next time you are clearing out your house, donate items that you no longer want to a local charity.

9. Hold the door open for the person behind you.

10. Smile at a stranger.

All of these acts, plus the many other options you could add into the list, are about doing things for others.

For people with ME/CFS and Long Covid, this could be an added layer of complexity. So this World Kindness Day, why not do something for yourself. Why not try being kind to yourself?

Not only will being kind to yourself generally help to lift your mood, it will also help you to increase happiness, promote oxytocin (also known as the love hormone!), reduce depressive moods, help you feel more self-confident and can create a rush of positive energy.

Here’s how you can show yourself some kindness:

Start by setting some time aside for self-care. This will allow you the time to do something you’ve been wanting to do. It may be having a relaxing bath or writing your diary but it’s something that’s just for you.

Be intentional when speaking about yourself to yourself. You are likely to be your own biggest critic so if you catch yourself speaking negatively about yourself to yourself, or looking in the mirror and disliking what you see, take a moment to stop and challenge that thinking. Make a list of the things you like about yourself and the things that you enjoy. Remind yourself to look at the list often. And remember, that if you slip up and catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself again, it’s OK! We all mess up so forgive yourself.

Think about how easy it is for you to be kind and supportive to the people you care about when they are having a bad day. How do you respond to them when they are dealing with a stressful situation or are feeling down? Do you listen without judgement? Do you buy them a thoughtful gift? Do you remind them of their good qualities? Now, turn that around and do that for yourself. Be your own best friend.

We’re usually quite quick to pick up on other’s achievements but slow to acknowledge our own. Take some time to think about your own achievements and give yourself a pat on the back for each of them. Be proud of what you’ve managed to do. I still, after 20 years, get a thrill when I wake up in the morning and can see and feel my toes wiggle! It’s a little thing but it really gives me a buzz! Having had years when I couldn’t get my legs let alone my toes to do anything, I love to see that wiggle in the morning. It reminds me how far I’ve come.

Take good care of yourself, within your current capabilities. One of the best ways to be kind to yourself is to take care of yourself. That means doing your best to get enough sleep, eat well and know your boundaries. Self-respect, trusting yourself and knowing when to say “no” is also showing yourself kindness.

Dealing with a chronic illness can take a toll on the mind, body & spirit. For people with ME/CFS & Long Covid, we can set high expectations of ourselves. When we don’t meet those expectations, even though it’s through no fault of our own, we can be hard on ourselves. An additional way to be kind to ourselves is to remember that there will be ups and downs but that we are doing our best.

Let’s think about some key take aways from this episode:

1. World Kindness Day is an annual event but you can be kind to yourself and others as often as you’d like!

2. Random acts of kindness can cost nothing, a quick online search will give you some more ideas to the ones I’ve included today.

3. Showing yourself kindness will increase your mood, help you feel more self-confident and reduce a low mood.

4. Prioritise self-care on a regular basis.

5. Remember that you’re doing your best with your current capabilities.

That’s it for today everybody. I’ll be showing myself some kindness this week by taking a short break away with family and switching off from social media for a couple of days.

You can still download your FREE copy of my Activity tracker by heading to www.rhonabarton.co.uk/links. You might want to try this so that you can see where you can be kinder to yourself.

Whilst you’re there, you can head to my media page for more information about me and my story.

Thank you for listening. Don’t forget that you can review, share & subscribe to the podcast via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

Don’t forget that you can review, share & follow the podcast via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can also sign-up for my mailing list by visiting www.rhonabarton.co.uk or join my Facebook group – Believe in ME Community by following the Facebook page (@rhonabartoncoaching).