Is my anger really murder?

Sermons Archive - Greenview Church

I saw a murderous act the other day. No doubt you saw it too, or at least have seen something like it. Cars were waiting at temporary traffic lights, a three-way system that took ages to filter through.

(0:16 – 0:38)

One car got stuck when the light was green, frustrating the driver behind. A brief honk turned into continuous blaring, followed by yelling and obscene gestures. The anger escalated as the person swerved around the stuck car, nearly hitting an oncoming vehicle, as the light had turned red and the other lane began moving.

(0:40 – 0:54)

Maybe in another part of Glasgow, he might have stopped and pulled out a baseball bat. Or maybe in another city in another part of the world, pulled out a gun. This was anger.

(0:55 – 1:14)

And along with it went murderous actions and lies. Meanwhile, another murderous act occurred in a home where conflict over money had simmered. One spouse resented the other’s spending on the kids, seeing it as excessive during these times of financial crisis.

(1:15 – 1:44)

But there were no loud arguments or slammed doors, just quiet withdrawal and avoidance, both simmering in their own frustrations, punishing themselves and each other. One told themselves everything’s fine, blaming the other, while the other believed they always side with the kids over me. This too was anger, murderous and also full of lies.

(1:47 – 2:20)

I was listening to a report on the news this week detailing incompetence, wasted millions, and the ruinous effect on people’s lives because of the lack of regulation regarding insulation in people’s homes. I was angry at the lies that were being told by cowboy builders and the regulator basically trying to cover it over and making excuses. And the fact is it was nearly killing old people through the resultant black mould.

(2:22 – 2:32)

There was nearly another murderous act this evening. That was over a printer through there, but that’s another story. You probably have many.

(2:33 – 2:44)

So why don’t you just take a couple of minutes? It’s going to be an interactive hour. So just take a couple of minutes with the people around about you just to talk about experiences of anger in everyday life. There should be a slide that shows this.

(2:45 – 3:05)

What other words might you use to describe anger? And if you’re honest and open enough, what are you most angry at? So just take a few minutes to do that with each other. If some of you would like sheets to follow through this evening, I do have some printouts. So perhaps as you’re discussing, I’ll come and share these around if you want it.

(3:05 – 3:41)

But meanwhile, just chat for two or three minutes on this. Okay. Well, that certainly got the talking going.

(3:41 – 4:07)

That’s great. Anger is something we all know about, isn’t it? But do we truly understand it? How might we describe it? Well, anger involves us physically, doesn’t it? It’s also emotional, mental, behavioural. Physically, we recognise things like flushed skin, muscle tension, adrenaline surges.

(4:08 – 4:20)

Emotionally, it can go from a kind of mild irritation to a blinding rage. And even the low scale emotions are just as problematic. Think of things like grumpiness and sulkiness and critical spirits.

(4:21 – 4:33)

That’s all caught up within emotional responses too. Mentally, think about how anger so influences our thoughts, our imagination and memory. Grievances are replayed.

(4:34 – 4:52)

Plans for revenge are nurtured. And behaviourally, as well as actions and our speech, we can think of violence, obviously. But sarcasm, biting words, blaming, and nonverbal cues like sighs and gestures and so on.

(4:52 – 5:04)

We recognise these things, don’t we? But there’s also some words that we put to anger. Irritability. A low simmer of annoyance about someone or something.

(5:06 – 5:15)

Conflict and arguing. Disputes, defensive and offensive things that take place. The he said, she said.

(5:15 – 5:28)

He did, she did. Bitterness that is nursed. And recycling of old hurts and grudges that never seemingly able to get past.

(5:28 – 5:40)

We’ve talked about violence, inflicting pain. But it also includes takedowns, destruction through humour. Or passive anger.

(5:41 – 5:50)

My MO, I think. Hides behind the surface. Yet it leads to avoidance and withdrawal and punishing too.

(5:51 – 5:59)

And there’s other things related to anger. Fears. Imagine a child falling off a swing in a playground.

(5:59 – 6:12)

The mother rages at the child. Her fear produces an angry response at the child because the mom believes the child is the cause of her panic. Rather than running to comfort and soothe, she’s raging.

(6:13 – 6:24)

Fearful over what is, that something bad is going to happen to the one she loves. Frustrations. We can be angry when somewhat stuck or thwarted.

(6:25 – 6:35)

We think we can control it and sort it and fix it and change it. Or someone else can or should. But they don’t or they won’t.

(6:36 – 6:48)

And we can’t seemingly do anything to affect it. So we feel our impotence and others’ incompetence. We don’t get what we really want and we’re frustrated.

(6:51 – 7:04)

Alcohol and drugs are a toxic mix with anger too. Alcohol can be used to deaden the anger. Perhaps we don’t like what is happening or did happen.

(7:04 – 7:15)

And so we use it to medicate and numb over the disappointments and discontentment and so on. To soothe and forget. But it can also be used to speak out more readily.

(7:16 – 7:27)

It reduces our inhibitions. You really express what you really want and think. As someone put it this way, anger is silent until the booze kicks in.

(7:29 – 7:47)

Sexual immorality is big with anger. Pornography, use, affairs, illicit sex can be used to express anger at the other for not getting what they wanted or lusted after. And of course anger at oneself is all a part of the equation.

(7:48 – 8:04)

We are angry at ourselves. Recriminations, accusations, self-hate and punishment is all part of the anger story. And as Colin mentioned this morning from Genesis 4, there is that link between anger and sadness.

(8:05 – 8:16)

Between anger and being downcast and depressed. Sure anger can really motivate you and give you an energy surge it seems. That’s why we slam the door and such like.

(8:16 – 8:24)

But our anger can lead to real deep sadness. For what is wrong. And it can be a legitimate sadness.

(8:25 – 8:41)

But it can also be because you just plainly didn’t get what you wanted. We also bring excuses for anger to the table, don’t we? Words are used as part of anger. We can come up with many excuses to blame others or other things.

(8:41 – 8:47)

And perhaps we can kid ourselves with some of these. I’m not really upset. I’m just offended.

(8:48 – 9:01)

I’m just annoyed and irritated. I got out the wrong side of the bed this morning or I’ve not had my coffee yet. Or can you really blame me? These are some of the kind of things we might say.

(9:03 – 9:12)

Anger of course is very complex and it’s variable. The responses that you make to the varying situations are differ greatly. As can the duration.

(9:12 – 9:29)

It can be a passing moment that’s quickly forgotten or something that you just can’t seem to get past. It can be a moral crusade that people define themselves for the rest of their lives. What we’re angry at is so wide and variable too.

(9:29 – 9:42)

We can be mad at people, at ideas, the weather, the football results, our computers and printers. God, church, the dog. No offence to Cooper.

(9:44 – 9:59)

You can be angry at the prettiest, smallest thing that happens to cross your view of what you’re entitled to or what you believe the standard should be. And it can be objectively evil or subjectively trivial. It’s complex, both just and corrupt.

(10:00 – 10:10)

But it can also be redemptive. It can be utterly right and good and appropriate. It’s a fair and just response to what is wrong and evil.

(10:10 – 10:25)

It’s a loving response on behalf of the evil’s victims. We truly can be angry at people and things that abuse and harm. The person you are against could be someone who is hateful and an evil figure.

(10:26 – 10:42)

But it can also be someone you love and deeply care about. And a common thread, I think, through all of this, in spite of the variability, is something is wrong and you’re against it. And we’ll come back to that.

(10:42 – 10:48)

But just take a minute yourself and just reflect. There’s a personal reflexion up there. It’s also on your sheet.

(10:48 – 11:03)

Think about some of the things we’ve already raised. Consider some of these things for yourself. As you consider your own experiences of anger in your own life, write down some things that you want to address.

(11:37 – 11:49)

We want to understand it better, don’t we? As we look at something like anger, we want to be biblical. The world has plenty to say about anger. There’s two common things that are often said.

(11:50 – 11:58)

One is we just need to vent. Learn how to get in touch with your feelings and speak it out. Get it off your chest.

(12:00 – 12:08)

Another route is you just need to relax and take a chill pill. You need to calm down a bit here. Cool it.

(12:09 – 12:32)

But is there another way? I think the Bible expresses a constructive way to deal with anger and a redemptive way. And it starts with understanding what anger really is, where it’s coming from, its purpose, and how we cultivate it with the right relationship with God. And anger, of course, is all over the Bible.

(12:33 – 12:49)

We’ve thought about the anger of God already today in our songs and readings. Satan’s murderous accusations are part of the story of anger. And in the Bible, too, there’s people.

(12:50 – 13:06)

So let’s think of the divine, the demonic, and human anger. Let’s start with God. What’s his anger like? What does he do? Well, God’s anger is a key theme in the Bible, isn’t it? I mean, Paul the apostle writes almost 50 times about it in Romans.

(13:06 – 13:22)

For example, chapter 1, the wrath of God is revealed against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men. But God’s anger, it seems, is not like human anger. It’s talked of as being slow and just and aimed at what is wrong.

(13:25 – 13:37)

Scripture tells us he takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked. Rather, he wants them to turn and to live. It seems that God’s ways are right and his anger is patient.

(13:38 – 13:56)

And it’s aroused by things like betrayal and rebellion and injustice. It’s aroused by things like evil and the protection of those who are victimised. It reflects his perfect righteousness, and we see it perfectly in Jesus.

(13:56 – 14:13)

He displayed his righteous anger, didn’t he? But it wasn’t necessarily over personal offences. His anger was more reserved for injustices that hindered true worship. And when personally on the receipt of injustice, Jesus showed restraint.

(14:15 – 14:24)

He showed that wisdom is needed to respond rightly. And yet God is love. God’s love and anger aren’t contradictory.

(14:24 – 14:37)

They seem to work together in Scripture. And B.B. Warfield, a famous theologian from the previous century says, you can’t understand God’s love if you don’t understand his anger. Because he loves, he’s angry at what harms.

(14:39 – 15:03)

And as we thought already today, God’s love moved him to send Jesus to bear the wrath against sin that humanity deserved. God’s loving anger saves his children from sin. And God hates how people hurt each other, and yet he allows consequences of their anger and of their sin as a judgement.

(15:04 – 15:18)

It seems as if God’s anger is aimed to reveal something of who God is and his glory. And it’s something about confronting evil and showing what is right. But he uses it also to bless people and ensuring justice.

(15:19 – 15:32)

And so we get this picture that God’s purpose is to remove harm, restore holiness, peace and harmony. And it’s all done patiently with grace and mercy. It’s God’s anger.

(15:34 – 15:47)

What about Satan? Satan, who opposes God and all that’s good, he’s also angry. And his anger is fundamentally different. It stems from deception and lies.

(15:49 – 16:02)

We’re told, when he became prideful, he said to himself, I will make myself like the most high. That’s in Isaiah. And when he tempted Eve, he said, if she ate the forbidden fruit, she would also be like God.

(16:02 – 16:16)

See the deception and the lies there, that’s part of what’s going on. And his goal is to lead people away from God, which leads to harm and destruction and death. He had these lying and murderous intentions from the very beginning.

(16:17 – 16:39)

It’s why Jesus, in speaking to the Pharisees who were out to kill him, said, you belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there’s no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he’s a liar and the father of lies.

(16:41 – 16:56)

And Peter the Apostle speaks of similar things. He describes Satan as a murderer, who’s marked by suffering and external oppression. He likens Satan to a roaring lion, seeking to devour and destroy people of the faith.

(16:57 – 17:11)

James describes anger as demonic. And Paul warns, we’re not to give the devil an opportunity with anger. In fact, he goes on to say, don’t treat it lightly, because actually we’re in a battle.

(17:11 – 17:21)

And here’s the biblical reality of Satan’s anger. It comes from a totally different direction. It has a different intent and purpose.

(17:22 – 17:35)

He wants to usurp God, take over God’s place. And he seeks to deceive people, away from God, and to harm and destroy. That’s what’s going on with anger.

(17:37 – 17:46)

So let’s think a little bit more then with human anger, and then we’re going to get you to discuss some stuff. So, human anger. Scripture frequently addresses human anger.

(17:46 – 18:00)

It’s usually sinful, and it works its way through individuals, communities and nations. It’s a major issue. From the very beginning in chapter 3 in Genesis, Adam and Eve blamed Eve, or Adam blamed Eve and God for his actions.

(18:01 – 18:13)

So we’ve got blame shifting and accusations, a self-righteousness from Adam. Then in chapter 4, as we saw this morning, we get eruption into murder. Cain not getting what he wanted.

(18:14 – 18:24)

Perhaps desiring God’s favour or approval, or a status over Abel. He doesn’t get it, so he’s angry. And despite the warning, he kills Abel.

(18:25 – 18:37)

Two chapters on, we read of in Noah’s time, the earth is filled with violence. And on it goes. And so you’ve got the stories like Simeon and Levi, and Saul and Naaman and Jonah.

(18:37 – 18:45)

All the Herods in the Gospels. The Ephesians Christians. The Jewish Christians that James speaks to.

(18:46 – 19:01)

Plus many strong statements about anger across Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes. Into the New Testament, Paul writes about lists of sins. And one of the common themes in those lists of sins is anger.

(19:02 – 19:17)

He doesn’t just call it anger, he talks about strife and so on. And the emphasis in Scripture is that humans are mimicking Satan. They’re trying to usurp God, and put themselves on the throne and demand their own way.

(19:18 – 19:32)

But actually, the Apostles are very clear that this is about believers too, it’s a problem for us too. Paul says, we’re to seek. It’s saying that we too seek the opposite of what God seeks.

(19:33 – 19:50)

We use our freedom to serve ourselves, not serve God. He gives the idea that we’re bent towards anger. And so Paul says, take your soul to task, be accountable for it.

(19:51 – 20:04)

But he also points to something better. And he says, walk in step with God’s spirit. He’s saying something here about cultivating anger, redeeming it, and so on.

(20:04 – 20:13)

And we’ll come on to that soon. But just take a few more minutes in your groups there, or with your person who’s beside you. Consider anger from a biblical perspective then.

(20:14 – 20:28)

Compare and contrast the different goals between God and Satan, and how we’re a mix of the two, even as believers. What influences? Love and hate and indifference and apathy. Think about that for a few minutes.

(20:52 – 21:16)

Okay. Well, we want to keep pressing in and understand what’s really going on. Where’s it coming from? When we want to think about what we do about anger, it’s helpful to really understand where it’s coming from.

(21:16 – 21:26)

And anger expresses two things. It says something in your world matters. It says you believe something is wrong.

(21:27 – 21:47)

It’s often why it’s called the moral emotion. Anger isn’t just an adrenaline rush, or how we express ourselves in arguments, whether loud or turning away. Anger isn’t a thing inside us that is a fire to extinguish, or something that’s pent up and needs to be released.

(21:47 – 21:59)

These phrases imply anger is kind of neutral. Something just to get off your chest, to make you feel better, to release a tension and so on, a pressure. But anger isn’t just a sensation.

(22:00 – 22:07)

Sure, it feels. It definitely feels. And the Bible sometimes describes anger in these ways.

(22:07 – 22:33)

It talks about anger in like hot or burning. But these phrases and such that we use in human life and in Bible life is that they’re reflecting the intensity, not its true nature. And while venting anger by shouting or punching walls or numbing it through distractions might provide some temporary relief, it doesn’t solve the deeper issue.

(22:34 – 22:48)

At its core, it’s about evaluation, and it’s evaluating something you care enough about. If you approve of something, you don’t feel angry. If you’re indifferent, anger doesn’t arise.

(22:50 – 23:15)

Anger occurs when we care enough to judge something as unfair or wrong, and we want to stop it or fix it, which is a judgement in itself. It’s ultimately saying, I’m against this or I’m against that. And it’s against things and people and situations that harm, that hurt what we love or who we love.

(23:16 – 23:41)

And that helps us differentiate between righteous and sinful anger. Sinful anger seeks to harm and take God’s place, while godly anger aims to honour God and promote good. Another way to think through and understand anger better is whether is anger this nature or nurture phenomena? Remember that anger is natural by creation.

(23:43 – 23:56)

The Bible teaches that humans are made in God’s image, and it includes the capacity for anger. It’s a natural part of how God made us. It was very good from the beginning.

(23:58 – 24:14)

And that’s why it’s there. It’s there because it helps us to protect, to care, to nurture, to guard, to protect. Like Adam should have done with Eve, as the serpent came in to tell lies and lead them astray.

(24:16 – 24:30)

But also anger is natural by the fall. Like children throwing tantrums without being taught, sinful anger comes naturally from our sinful selves. The issue isn’t anger itself, but what triggers it.

(24:32 – 24:48)

What we maybe ignore or how we’re responding. And anger is a legitimate emotion, but sin corrupts it. James reminds us, he reminds the believing church, to be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.

(24:49 – 25:18)

Because human anger typically doesn’t lead to God’s righteousness. And we’re minded that righteous anger can turn into things like self-righteousness, gossip, vengeance, cynicism, and so on, if not handled carefully. So is it just nature? Is it simply nurture? Is it something that’s learned? Well, certainly anger can be modelled and taught to us.

(25:19 – 25:37)

We pick up what to get upset about and how to express it from those around us. Perhaps examples and habits in the home or in our workplace or in our church, among our friendship groups. Sinful speech and actions can become routine.

(25:37 – 25:56)

Just the way we tend to respond when frustrated and irritated and so on. Yet Proverbs warns, don’t associate with a hot-tempered person or you may learn their ways. See, over time, anger can become what we sometimes refer to as a second nature.

(25:57 – 26:19)

An habitual response that feels natural and intuitive. So we may say things like, that’s just what I am, it’s just what I do. But the biblical truth is a little bit more nuanced than that, isn’t it? Godly constructive anger is also nurture and learned.

(26:20 – 26:39)

We are called to relearn, be transformed. And as Christians, we’re being remade to respond to evil with a righteous anger, out of a love for God and to honour Him and a love for others. And at the same time, we’re called to grow in mercy, showing love even to those who do us wrong, even our enemies.

(26:40 – 26:51)

In fact, Proverbs talks about this too. It says, he who walks with the wise will be wise. It’s reminding ourselves what Paul says, we’re to walk in step with the Spirit.

(26:52 – 27:13)

Yes, God creates the desire to do good and what is right. But He calls us to walk in step with the Spirit who empowers us to live gently and under self-control and so on. In fact, the Hebrew writer says, maturity comes as we train ourselves to discern good from evil.

(27:14 – 27:30)

So take another few minutes and discuss some of these things. There’s a, what’s the word, a phrase there on the sheet and on the slide. From a biblical perspective, the line between good and evil runs through everything.

(27:31 – 27:40)

So have a think about that. Think about nurture and nature. How do we cultivate godliness? As opposed to sinfulness.

(27:41 – 28:40)

Have a think about that for a few minutes. Okay. Well, hopefully you can pick up some of these discussion starters with other times too or look at them at your own time.

(28:40 – 28:48)

But let’s just keep unpacking this. We’re going to use a bit of a case study in James. So if you have a Bible, turn to James.

(28:48 – 29:13)

It’s page 1213 in your pew Bibles. I’m coming back to the words of Jesus to the Pharisees and Satan’s anger. Remember that Jesus said to these religious leaders who were intent on killing Jesus that you belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires.

(29:13 – 29:26)

He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth for there’s no truth in him. So we want to look at these two things in particular. Something about lies and speech and something about killing.

(29:27 – 29:38)

And I’m going to do that through the idea of conflict that’s in here in James. Let’s think about lies and speech first of all. What we see or don’t see matters.

(29:39 – 29:57)

The mouth speaks of what the heart is full of says Jesus in Luke’s gospel. James addresses the same thing in his letter. So in chapter 1, if you glance down to verse 13, he reminds the church there that they can’t blame anybody else, especially God.

(29:59 – 30:17)

Even when we fall into temptations and then sin. We’re to be careful about anger, even at God. When we in effect accuse God of not doing what we thought he should do or the way he should do it or when he should do it or whoever else we want to blame.

(30:18 – 30:38)

And whether we voice this or keep it inside and just speak it to ourselves, these are lies we’ve got to be careful about. He also says then just down in verse 19, everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry. In chapter 3, it’s the famous passage about the tongue being like a fire.

(30:39 – 30:53)

Verse 6, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire and itself is set on fire by hell. Verse 10, out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing.

(30:54 – 31:07)

Verse 14, if you harbour bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such wisdom doesn’t come down from heaven, but it’s earthly and spiritual. It’s demonic.

(31:07 – 31:25)

But then verse 17, he points to another way. The wisdom that comes from heaven is, first of all, pure, then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

(31:26 – 31:49)

And if you go ahead into chapter 4 in verse 12, James also warns about taking on God’s role of being a judge. The danger of tending towards a self-righteous judgement and condemning and accusing. And so in our lies and our speech, we either say internally or we voice it, you always do this or you never do that.

(31:50 – 31:58)

Or we become defensive and blame and so on and so on. These are the things that are going on. So again, just take a few minutes.

(31:59 – 32:17)

Think about lies and speech and how influential our words are. Think about how our conversations reveal our priorities and what really matters to us. Discuss how speech reveals what matters to us.

(32:17 – 32:35)

And also, James is saying, here’s a pathway out. Listening, not harbouring bitterness, not harbouring or cultivating selfish ambition, but sowing peace, being merciful, not judging. It’s all there in James.

(32:35 – 33:30)

Just have a think about that. And talk to each other about those things. Okay, so that’s the first case study in James.

(33:31 – 33:52)

Thinking about how our speech, what we say or what we don’t say, influences so much in our anger. But what about the other area, the problem of killing or murder? Anger works its way out in our relationships. And here’s the thing, typically angry people get caught up in conflict.

(33:52 – 34:06)

The divisiveness, not harmony and bringing together, but divisiveness. And James talks about that too. So in chapter 4, in page 1215 in your pew Bibles, let’s read what James says here.

(34:07 – 34:43)

So he’s continuing on with the issue about speaking and where it’s coming from. And he just unpacks that a little bit more. He says, And so on he unpacks further.

(34:44 – 34:59)

James is saying the battle starts with ourselves. We’re not to attack our spouse, our child, our co-worker, brother in the Lord, but the problem. And James helps us see where the focus of our fight should be.

(35:00 – 35:14)

He focusses on the problem’s source. He says, Of course, our tendency is to blame and to say it’s because of and so on. That’s just who I am and all the various things that we say.

(35:14 – 35:46)

He said, she said, but James says, And James follows that up with another observation. He says, That’s in verse 2. The nature of the desire is such that it causes problems when desire is not met. It’s the desire on the inside having an impact on the outside.

(35:47 – 36:05)

You want something, but not only that, you’re not getting it. So you’re angry because you desire time with your spouse, but they choose something or someone else. Or you’re angry because you needed your work colleague to complete a task in a particular way at a particular time.

(36:05 – 36:33)

But not only is it half done, it’s just not done the way you wanted it. The better question James is saying to us here is, what are you fighting for? Notice that this is different from what am I fighting about? What you’re fighting about is about the event, the circumstance, the set of situations, the situation and so on. What you’re fighting for is about what you want.

(36:35 – 36:56)

And so we’re digging in, aren’t we, to what’s underneath and uncover the desires that motivate. Our battle is therefore often about dealing with the situations when you’re not getting what you want. And that works its way out even when it’s a good thing and we respond badly.

(36:58 – 37:22)

Now I recognise it can be very hard to identify these things, desires and wants that are going on that fuel things like conflicts. So one way to look at it is looking at our typical approaches to when conflict happens, when there’s a disagreement about something. Then think about what’s your typical approach, typical way that you would relate to that person.

(37:23 – 37:47)

And there’s three ways that are on your table in the sheet there. We can either tend to appease or move towards that person because we want their acceptance and we don’t want to be rejected and isolated, we want harmony and so on. Or another approach is that we just want to ignore and avoid and move away.

(37:49 – 38:13)

And that might be because we prefer our own comfort or being right and secure and we don’t like messy things and we don’t like being out of control. Just some of the things in play there. Another tendency is that we move against because we want to win, win the argument, show that we’re right, prove that we’re in control, we like strength and success, we don’t want to show weakness.

(38:14 – 38:27)

That’s all in there too. And as you sort of work those things out then there’s three questions there that just maybe help you tease that out a little bit. And again, just take a minute or two, personal reflexion.

(38:27 – 39:03)

You can spend a little more time personally on your own or maybe speak to someone who knows you well to work this out in a little bit more. But it’s a good way to try and think through how do I approach things like conflict and what am I fighting for and what’s my approach as I’m in the middle of that kind of argument, conflict and so on. So just take another couple of minutes and then we’ve got five minutes or so and then that’s us finished.

(39:47 – 40:13)

Okay, just for the last few minutes we want to think just a pathway forwards with anger. What does God want for angry people or people who are angry? Well God is jealous for His people. He isn’t against them, instead He moves towards them with grace and mercy.

(40:14 – 40:30)

His approach is motivated by a love that seeks our good. James says it this way, He jealously longs for the spirit He has caused to dwell in us. So that’s one thing we just want to hold there as we think about how do we move forward with anger.

(40:30 – 40:52)

God is wanting there to be a good route out with anger. But the other thing I want to say here is that we’re not to quash our emotions. You know I said that two common responses are just let it all out or just quash it down, you’ve just got to be calm and chill and so on.

(40:53 – 41:16)

But there’s another way, it’s right to be angry at what God is angry at. It’s right to be sad at what God is sad at. Who wants to live in a world without anger? If the standard of judgement is accurate and fair and clear minded and pure, then that kind of disapproval is good and God calls us to cultivate that.

(41:18 – 41:39)

What if there was just indifference towards abuse and terrorism and cheating? We know that doesn’t deliver well. And we should be against sin and sinful expressions of anger. And so we’re looking for redemptive ways and constructive ways to live out anger.

(41:40 – 41:54)

In ways that honour God and seek good. So it’s not about calming down and getting rid of our emotion. I contend towards that, I don’t like overly volatile situations.

(41:54 – 42:08)

But it’s not right for me to just quash somebody else’s emotion. It might be right that they are expressing that pretty strongly. Because what is going on is wrong.

(42:09 – 42:23)

And it’s not just about you just need to be calm and cool it and calm down. Got to be wise with these things and careful. But I don’t think scripture is calling us to just get rid of our emotions.

(42:24 – 42:40)

I think we’re being called to redeem our emotions and being constructive with them. So it’s having the right emotion for the right situation and the right amount. And so doing that we’re dependent upon God and we’re following his spirit.

(42:41 – 42:52)

God creates and we cultivate. God creates, we are led by God’s spirit. We follow in his spirit, in his step.

(42:52 – 43:06)

And so here’s four ways to think about just finally that help us. First of all is identify. It can be good just to simply say I’m sad, I’m frustrated, I’m annoyed and I’m upset.

(43:07 – 43:20)

I know I’ve got a lot to learn, here I tend to not say anything at all. I tend not to say what’s bothering me and say to myself and others it’s all fine, I speak to myself. Though it’s obviously not.

(43:22 – 44:36)

Where we are in our communication tendencies we’re to grow in identifying it better and speaking it. Scripture speaks of Jesus who was sorrowful and troubled in the garden as he was considering all that was about to befall him. Next we’re to examine, we are to consider why am I feeling this way? We’re really asking what wrong am I observing? What’s the injustice going on? What’s the emotion of anger connecting with something you care about and value? So what are you angry at? What are you wanting? Examine that and evaluate, start to look at what are the consequences of this anger? Are we seeing more clearly are we going to be on God’s side or Satan’s side? Are we looking just that little bit more carefully about whether our actions and our speech brings honour to God, justice and fairness and love or not? And we’re asking who is master or who is mastering you? Are we giving into the flesh or are we in step with the spirit? And fourthly we take action.

(44:37 – 44:58)

So going back to the James thing, we’re to be truth bearers and peacemakers. Humble not proud, that’s what James’ conclusion lands on in chapter 4. God gives grace to the humble not the proud. Walking God’s way is not our own and there’s many scriptures that call us to put off and put on.

(44:59 – 45:21)

There’s some on the sheets that I’ve provided for you, you can think of more. And as we take action it’s remembering this is part of the relearning that God is calling us and empowering us to. And if there’s anything that’s been said tonight is just sparking something then I’m delighted to speak with you.

(45:21 – 45:39)

I acknowledge my own struggles with anger and I recognise anger is probably much more of a dominant feature of my life than I realise. And I think it’s actually more dominant in others lives than we realise. It’s a significant emotion that we need to pay more careful attention to.

(45:39 – 45:53)

The Bible does and I think that’s for a reason. I think we need to hear God’s word in these things. So I’m encouraged that God is showing me and is patient and merciful to me and he is to you too.

(45:54 – 46:15)

So let me pray as we finish and I think we’ve got a closing song. Father God we do thank you that your word does reveal to us something of your character, your ways, your purposes, what you are like. And even as we think of this emotion of anger and how we struggle with it, wrestle with it, experience it in all sorts of ways.

(46:15 – 46:31)

We acknowledge our sinful tendencies and actions and speech. But Lord we want to seek your forgiveness, ask for your mercy. Knowing that God again and again as we call to you for wisdom you give it.

(46:31 – 46:46)

So again we call out to you and Lord we know that you are the giver of all good things. So help us Lord as we consider these things and work them out and we pray for your ongoing blessing to us. In Jesus name we pray.

Amen.

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