EP2//Why we need to use mind management to help our confidence and three quick and easy steps to get started today!

The Crazy Confidence Coach Podcast Mindset, Limiting Beliefs, Reinvention, Purpose, Christian Life Coach, Self-Doubt, Negative Thought Patterns, Managing the Mind, Major Life Change

Today we are going to do a little exercise so if you are able go grab a pen and paper and let’s get to it. If you are driving or listening on a walk, continue listening and you can go back later to do the exercise. It’s a fantastic exercise to do to get a little more clarity on your confidence level.

Here we go.

In general, if you were to rate your confidence lev

Why did you give yourself that score? Write down what comes to mind el where would you place yourself on a scale from one to ten? 10 being amazing and 1 being low.

Now, we are going to break apart different areas in your life and drill into what areas you feel over the top 10 confident in and what areas you struggle in?

Here I want you to write down the area of life I mention. Then next to it, write where you would rate yourself in that area of life.

Remember we will use 10 always being super confident and 1 being no confidence at all.

Work, Spouse or significant other, Spiritual Life, Health, Wealth, Family, Friends

Now go back and circle what area you have the highest score.

Then I want you to write down two dominating thoughts regarding yourself in this area of your life.

For example: Work

I am a very organized worker. The value I bring to my team, is important to the bottom line of the company

Or

I don’t seem to be able to get my job done on time, ever. My boss always thinks I should do better.

Let’s do the same thing with the area of your life you scored the lowest.

If you are taking your time and being completely honest with yourself in your answers you will find that your thoughts around the area of life you struggle in are more negative, limiting, unclear, or you have thought errors surrounding them. Thought errors or just thoughts we believe to be true but aren’t.

This little exercise is just an awareness exercise to get you thinking about where you are in your confidence journey. If you really, really want to change your confidence in an area of your life and ultimately change the results you are having in that area, you can do that!

Everything we do begins with a thought. In episode one we talked about how much trust in yourself and how reliable you believe yourself to be creates confidence. To believe in yourself and your abilities you must think you can. How do you begin to “think you can”? How do you change your results and outcomes? It starts with your thoughts.

This is where mind management and confidence meet. This is where the magic is. This is where the work is. BUT if you do this work, you can literally change your life faster and with more ease. And it can be done while having so much fun, I promise!

Mind Management is like a workout for your brain. Just like you do reps during a workout to create stronger muscles, greater bone density, and more energy. Using mind management gives you a stronger mind, that is more agile and easily adapts to change. I love to call it my mental fitness.

A managed mind is open to more possibilities because it doesn’t have as many limitations.

When you manage your mind, you have better relationships with yourself and others, experience better outcomes at work, and you ultimately handle life in a more effortless way.

Simply put, mind management is being aware of and purposefully shaping your thoughts.

Practicing mind management helps you create emotions and outcomes that are empowering and healthy.

This is NOT to be confused with constraining yourself to only positive thoughts. Mind management is not toxic positivity.

Our minds are complex and highly individual. We are taking in so much information and we are doing it all day long. According to research we have anywhere from 20k to 600k thoughts per day. The wild part is that up to 80% of those thoughts per day can be negative.

It’s no wonder that what comes out of our mouths and our minds can be negative. But what impact does all that negativity have on us? For one, we tend to believe in good thoughts less. Lack of belief creates lack of confidence in ourselves and in others. It becomes harder and harder to believe in good things because we spend so much time reinforcing the negative.

I coached a client that kept saying, I have to take my kids to school. This seems like a statement of fact. She was also believing this was somehow an interference in her life that was preventing her from doing other things. She has built up resentment of her husband because he didn’t “have” to do this task. So I challenged if indeed this thought was a fact.

Let’s break the thought down.

I have to take my kids to school.

I asked her to brainstorm other options for her kids to travel to school. They didn’t live close enough for the children to walk. They did have a school bus that came to her neighborhood so that was an option. There was also another mom that would occasionally car pool and take her kids when she needed help with the kids getting to school.

So all this brainstorm was to show her that she had other options. Her story “I have to take my kids to school” was just that a story. A dirty little lie. A lie she didn’t even know she was telling.

It doesn’t stop there. We explored her reasons for taking her children to school. She actually did like that she got to spend this time in the car with her kids. She even had a few cute stories of some memories they made during this time. She liked that she knew they were safely at school and it helped her concentrate more on her day knowing this. She liked knowing they made it with their lunches and all their homework and jackets if it was cold. So as we talked through all the reasons she liked taking her kids to school she was able to understand that framing it as something she had to do versus something she actually enjoyed to do was preventing her from having a pleasant experience around it. Her resistance to her husband was drastically reduced and she began looking forward to her mornings taking her kids to school.

What are the things you are telling yourself I have to do or I should do?

Are you telling yourself you have to go to work? That you have to ______??? Challenge that thought. Manage your mind by asking yourself

Why? Do you realize you could just stop going to work? No, really you could. Yes, there would be consequences but it’s an option. You have reasons for going. What are they? Do you like those reasons? If you don’t, begin to challenge your thoughts around it.

Once you begin to shift little thoughts in your life, you will start to notice less resistance and begin living with more ease.

Three quick steps to helping you start today!

1. Awareness – just start paying attention to the words you are speaking to yourself. Don’t panic when you say something negative. Negativity is normal. Everyone has negative thoughts.
2. Evaluate a thought or two or ten in the next week - To evaluate a thought all you need to do is ask yourself about the thought? Is the thought true and accurate? We will go into this process specifically in later episodes, but it is powerful to learn how to get to the facts and truth of your thoughts. Many of our thoughts are borrowed from friends, family, or co-workers. We decipher and interpret what other people offer us as thoughts in the form of sentences. In other words, when people mention something to you about you, often you make that be true. Even if it isn’t. If you are ready to get clear about who you are and who you want to be. Get really clear on your thoughts about yourself and who you are and where they come from. Then get super clear on how factual they are and if you want to keep them. We will work a ton of this in future episodes, so don’t worry. If it feels fuzzy or feels confusing we will get to the bottom of it.
3. Rework your thought and make it true or helpful or at the very least neutral – This is not an invitation to make everything positive. Toxic positivity can be dangerous and create more shame and guilt that turns into depression and anxiety. The new thought just needs to be true and neutral. When I say neutral all I mean is a statement that does not create the “feeling” of shame or guilt. Let me give you an example.

Just doing these three things will begin increasing your confidence and how you interpret your abilities and capabilities. When you feel capable you will absolutely begin to feel confident!

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