What Does the Bible Really Say About Sex: Part II

The Refined Collective Podcast

Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for providing a place for me to record this episode for y’all! No more Brooklyn closet recording!!!

I grew up in the Bible Belt South.

I was taught good Christians save sex for marriage.

I loved God + wanted to do it ‘His way’, so I nodded + smiled.

Only in my late 20s did I realize I had no idea what the Bible actually said about sex.

I only knew what my pastors told me.

I needed to find out for myself what the Bible really said about sex, + then I needed to decide if I cared what it had to say.

This episode unpacks Part II of that journey.

Last week on the podcast, I shared all about my experience growing up in Christian culture, my choice to wait until marriage for sex, and the major struggle waiting was for me. In last weeks episode, I also did a deep dive into what the New Testament says about sex. If you haven’t listened yet, make sure you do that here. This week, I am continuing the conversation with an exploration of the Old Testament.

There’s a deeper ‘why’

• 1 Samuel 16:7 // God looks at the heart.
• Genesis 1:1 // Creation of humanity and climax of creation.
• God acknowledges that it is not good for humans to be alone, but he doesn’t instantly satisfy that longing. He let’s Adam work and sit in his desire.
• Chapter 2 of Genesis //

The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh;

she shall be called ‘woman,’

for she was taken out of man.”

24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Introducing sex

• The initial precendence of sex was post-marriage.
• “Yada” Jewish word ‘to know’ is used to describe sex— it also happens to be the same word used for God knowing us. It’s not just these physical acts, it’s MIND, BODY, SOUL, SPIRIT, DEEP KNOWING.
• In Hebrew culture, you moved out once and it meant something. The man would build her a house. But today, we move all the time and have dozens of roommates.
• These houses were often built on his family property— this means a few things:
• • Job
  • Willing to put in the time for her
  • Diligence
  • Showing everyone he’s a one woman kind of guy
  • Willing to do whatever it takes to let her know he’s in it for the long haul

“I’ve kissed more than one guy who wanted to kiss me after a couple of drinks at night, but never wanted to hold my hand in the daylight at brunch with his friends on a Saturday.” - Kat Harris

The Bible is (ummm…) Erotic

• The Song of Solomon was so erotic that Hebrew boys weren’t allowed to read it until they were men.
• King Solomon’s wife expresses enthusiastic consent and empowered sexuality from the get-go showing sex was about more than pro-creation: Pleasure matters to God.

“I saw a God vision for sex that is robust and beautiful and deep and rich… and it was transforming to me.” - Kat Harris

Reflection Questions

• What are your thoughts on sex after listening to Part I + II?
• Has anything shifted?
• What question do you still have?
• How would you describe the genesis 2 type of love?

Resources

• I take this conversation so much deeper in my book. Be sure + grab a copy of: Sexless in the City
• Join our Patreon community for exclusive videos
• Listen to the audio of Chapter 1 of my book for FREE: My Breaking Point
• Listen to What the Bible Really Says About Sex: Part II

I have become very invested in taking care of my skin— I just wish I had started earlier! Swedish skincare company Foreo strives to turn daily routines into vibrant rituals and celebrate aging gracefully. They bundled their most popular products into a bundle that is sold exclusively on Amazon. Go to Amazon.com and use coupon code REFINED35 to grab the set for $199 (it is valued at over $300!)

You’ve probably heard a lot about collagen over the years and know several people who swear by it. I’m here to tell you that it’s worth the hype. Collagen helps reduce fine lines and helps ease joint discomfort— pretty cool, right? You can put it in everything from a smoothie to banana bread. Go to AncientNutrition.com and use code REFINED for 20% off your first order.

I’m an avid reader and always have at least 3 books going at once. Anyone else love getting lost in a good fiction book? I just got a new book I’m super excited about called The Lost and Found Bookshop by Susan Wiggs. This NYT Bestseller now in paperback is the perfect feel-good summer read for a beach read or your book club. Grab your copy anywhere books are sold or find more at SusanWiggs.com.

---

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.