I Am NOBODY's Waiting Room - Joy's Story

7 On Sundays™ Podcast

What's happening in hookup culture today?

Pop culture often portrays having sex with your Tinder date as empowering. Many young people don't question this but feel empty and used from the experience. Often, sexual and cultural nonchalance clashes with the human desire to be wanted, cherished, held, and seen. This creates a disconnect. Like our guest, Joy, individuals may compromise themselves by rationalizing, "If I have sex, at least I might get the aftercare (defined as hugs/affection)."

In this 7 On Sundays™ episode, our 19-year guest, Joy, candidly shares her hookup stories, some of which are dangerous, "scary," and all unfilling. While her stories shocked and saddened us, we know she is absolutely not alone in having these experiences.

Joy integrates new tools and changes her perspective by giving herself the love she wants and deserves---She is no longer willing to be "a waiting room!"

Disclaimer: 7 On Sundays™ is for mature audiences only as we discuss sensitive topics. Please use caution when listening.

RESOURCES:

“Connection is the energy that exists between people when the feel seen, heard and valued: when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship" -Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart (2021)

TIMESTAMP:

[00:03:39] Joy's background and decision to share her story

[00:04:48] Sex as a scary experience

[00:08:45] Joy’s first sexual experience and expectations

[00:12:36] The emotional toll of friends with benefits

[00:14:40] Feeling like a "Waiting Room" for men

[00:17:01] Joy's pattern of seeking connection through sex

[00:20:59] The influence of empowerment and unrealistic media portrayal of sexual experiences

[00:26:15] Disappointment in today’s hookup culture

[00:30:16] The shared experience of loneliness among young adults

[00:34:05] The undertone of violence and aggression in college

[00:34:22] A disturbing encounter and questioning consent

[00:40:41] Joy's reflection on consent and justifying the encounter

[00:42:54] Redefining the definition of consent

[00:45:40] The expectation of choking and aggressive sex

[00:47:28] The desire for aftercare and emotional connection

[00:49:44] Misinformation from porn and its impact on women's pleasure

[00:53:08] Emotional connection is being left out in today’s sexual education

[00:57:02] Joy's journey working with a therapist towards healthier boundaries and self-understanding

[01:03:06] Moving from #MeToo to #NoMore

[01:04:28] WRAP UP