Choosing a Fertility Clinic, Navigating Loss and Finding Boundaries with Sophie Martin

Fertility Life Raft

Trigger Warning: Baby Loss

This week I had the pleasure of chatting to Sophie Martin, otherwise known as @theinfertilemidwife on Instagram. This chat is really packed with helpful information, personal insight and it’s so moving to listen to Sophie’s story but so uplifting too. So looking forward to sharing this conversation with you!

Sophie Martin is a Registered Midwife and has worked in a Central London hospital for the past nine years. One of her special interests is antenatal education, and she regularly teaches on antenatal courses. She has written for the Royal College of Midwives Magazine, alongside blog posts, and appearing on Radio and podcasts.

Sophie has personal experience of fertility treatment, having undergone 6 rounds of IVF herself. She also writes about the loss of her sons, Cecil & Wilfred who were born very prematurely.

In this episode, we speak about:

• How Sophie was able to find strength through grief in the loss of her twin boys

• Sophie’s ability to work as a midwife while personally experiencing loss and infertility

• The items of support in Sophie’s Life Raft

• The importance of establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries within relationships within infertility

• Advice for finding an infertility clinic

• How to find the confidence to self advocate even when you’re feeling very vulnerable and desperate

• Where to find legitimate research pages to stop yourself from falling down the google rabbit hole

• and more!

Powerful Quotes:

"There’s no infertility handbook, no one tells you how to negotiate relationships."

"It’s okay to get home and not remember or not understand. Just pick up the phone or write an email and be really persistent. There should be a standard of care, and this is potentially your one shot at something so massive … Other people get 12 months of the year to try for a baby, whereas people doing IVF get one chance. It’s your body, your cycle."

"Coping is a funny word. I don’t know if anyone really copes [with losing a baby]. You just get up every day…or you don’t. But, the days pass."

Connect with Sophie:

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/the.infertile.midwife

Website - https://www.theinfertilemidwife.com

Other links mentioned:

Petition for care after miscarriage - https://actions.tommys.org/a/miscarriage-petition?utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid_search&utm_campaign=miscarriage-lancet&utm_content=&gclid=CjwKCAjwz_WGBhA1EiwAUAxIcWLDZyQffyl1p0Lb-dTwmEB4nDK1w-7r1vUuxrt21BzEAn355bTjoRoC0J0QAvD_BwE

Contribute to Tommy's fundraiser - https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-display/showROFundraiserPage?userUrl=500milesfor5losses&pageUrl=8

Additional Resources:

Cat Strawbridge: Hangout Community - https://www.catstrawbridge.com/a/v867x

Zoe Clark Coates - https://www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/books/zoe-clark-coates/pregnancy-after-loss/9781409195948

Thank you for listening to the Fertility Life Raft! I would love for you to share this episode and let me know what you think! Join our Instagram community for more support: www.instagram.com/thisisalicerose . As always please take a moment to rate and review right now or half way through or at the end - it makes the world of difference!! Thank you so much to everyone who has already.

I’m running a free live event, Reclaiming You, on 21 April and 22 April for anyone trying to bring home a baby and finding themselves feeling lost; stuck in a ‘left behind’ mentality; exhausted and in comparison mode. Read more about it, to see if it’s suitable for you and join me by saving your space here.

About Alice Rose

Hi! I'm Alice and I am on a mission to support and empower anyone trying to grow their family (and while I’m at it, changing the social narrative we see around fertility too...) Learn more about me at www.thisisalicerose.com

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