127. When Nothing Seems to Work for Your Struggling Teen

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

What do you do when you’ve tried everything? Your teen has been to wilderness programs, therapeutic boarding schools, partial hospitalization programs, and more—and yet, the struggles persist. The behaviors, the fears, the maladaptive patterns, they all return in some way or form when your teen comes back home. What now?
In this episode, I’m joined again by the incredible Ciara Fanlo, a former “troubled teen” turned mentor and coach for struggling teens. Together, we delve into the feelings of exhaustion, frustration, and fear that come when walking this path as a parent. But also the deep shame and self-blame your teen probably carries when nothing seems to help.
Ciara shares her perspective as someone who’s been in your teen’s shoes. She recalls her own experience of questioning, “What’s so wrong with me that nothing works?” and the heavy belief that she was beyond help. It’s a heartbreaking place to be, for both teens and their families.
But as Ciara and I explore, the search for answers doesn’t have to center on blame. There’s a profound shift that happens when we let go of what’s out of our control and begin to focus on acceptance. As I share in the episode, I remember the moment I stopped fighting against everything I couldn’t change. That moment of surrender wasn’t giving up, it was a recognition of what was within my power and where I could still make a difference.
If you’ve ever felt the fatigue of doing all the “right” things as a parent but still feeling stuck, this conversation is for you.
In this episode on what to do when nothing seems to work for your struggling teen, we explore:

• Why the pursuit of control can often exhaust us without bringing real change;
• How teens experience their own shame and self-blame in these situations;
• What it means to shift from blame to acceptance;
• Practical ways to find a healthy sense of control, even in the hardest moments;
• And more.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [e-mail]
More about Ciara Fanlo
Ciara Fanlo is a former “troubled teen” who now supports struggling adolescents and their families. After recovering from her own challenging years, she founded Homing Instinct to share what she learned from her experiences. Ciara now provides personalized mentorship and coaching for teens as they navigate the transformative and tumultuous journey of becoming a young adult in today’s world.
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.