093: Why Do Men Fail At Relationships? W/ Jayson Gaddis

The Better Man Podcast

I used to think that the keys to great health were eating right, exercising often, and getting enough sleep. While these are good for your health, they pale in comparison to the quality of your relationships.

In fact, a Harvard study proved that your relationships are the #1 most important factor for your overall health and wellbeing.

But many guys, myself included, can be terrible at their most important relationship: The one you and your partner share.

I get it, relationships are hard. But men have a tendency to commit fatal mistakes in their relationships—and most of these mistakes fly under our radar.

That’s the bad news.

The good news?

Not only is improving your relationship possible, but nobody understands how to improve your relationship better than today’s guest, Jayson Gaddis, author and founder of The Relationship School.

Jayson had broken relationships his entire life because of his childhood conditioning. After doing the work and addressing the root cause (which was himself), he’s not only discovered how to improve his relationship, but he’s coached thousands of couples (and saved countless marriages) with his teachings.

If you aren’t completely satisfied with your relationship, this episode will show you the way.

And you know what?

It just might help you and your partner live 10 years longer…

In this episode, Jayson reveals:

• How men unknowingly play the victim in relationships
• How to have a healthier relationship with conflict
• And how you can have better relationships (even if your relationship is less than perfect now)

As so much more, including…

• The single biggest reason men tend to mess up in relationships (7:44)
• Why becoming more comfortable with your feelings allows you to hold space for your partner’s feelings (12:20)
• How you subconsciously attract the perfect person to trigger your unresolved childhood emotions that can tear a healthy relationship apart (18:41)
• The “Wisdom of Shame” secret for reframing shame into realistic goals (20:41)
• 2 questions to ask yourself every day to eliminate shame (27:27)
• 3 fundamental traits couples need to have for a successful, long-term relationship (32:32)
• Why the “Outside In” approach to conflict in relationships is the #1 killer of relationships (and how to use the “Inside Out” method to enhance your relationship instead) (33:39)
• The most important factor for success of a long-term relationship (and how to share this with your partner without triggering them) (36:21)
• The only 2 choices you have around potential conflict in relationships (and how one leads to a great marriage while the other ruins it) (38:52)
• The “impact me” formula for bringing up relationship problems in the healthiest and most effective way (46:25)
• How to better solve the wicked “fight below the fight” where men make conflict worse (55:47)
• Couples that know how to handle conflict live 10 years longer than couples who don’t. Here’s how to get better at conflict… (58:25)
• Why what you fight about doesn’t matter as much as how you fight (and how to argue in a more productive way) (1:06:21)
• The “LUFU” skill required to handle conflict in a healthier way (1:09:25)
• How leading with mini disclaimers before bringing up sensitive topics puts you and your partner on the same team (1:16:46)

Listen now!

Resources mentioned on this episode:

1. Subscribe to Jayson’s YouTube channel: If you want to improve your marriage, especially as a parent, Jayson puts out great content for free on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/@JaysonGaddis

2. Join Jayson’s Relationship School: Nobody taught you how to be good at relationships… Until now. If you’re serious about improving your relationships, check out Jayson’s Relationship School here: https://relationshipschool.com/

3. Buy Jayson’s Book, Getting To Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships: If you’d like to read Jayson’s book, you can order it on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Zero-Conflict-High-Stakes-Relationships/dp/0306924811/

Other important links:

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