Best of Sex, Love, & Elephants: Don’t Make Excuses for Bad Behaviour—Apologize like a MoFo

Sex, Love & Elephants with Dr. Cheryl

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Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants is one of my favorites from the early days of the podcast. In it, I talk about why a sincere vow to do better is one of the most important tools in your relationship arsenal, and why a mindful apology is an art in and of itself.

If I installed a camera in your home and recorded everything you said to your partner for a week—would you be comfortable sharing that footage with your nearest and dearest? The good, the bad, and the ugly? Or would you be ashamed and embarrassed at how you speak and interact with your sweetheart, especially in times of anger or frustration?

Human beings in relationships are going to have disagreements—that’s a fact of life. It sounds harsh, but if most people actually recorded themselves for a week and listened back to the way they spoke to their partner, they would be very disappointed in themselves. The trick is to make sure you and your honey both have the tools to have disagreements that aren’t destructive—disagreements that actually help bring you closer together. I know, right?

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• YOU are responsible for creating a great relationship (04:26)
• When you're agitated, your body floods with adrenaline and cortisol, creating temporary aggression and irrationality (06:24)
• The opposite of kind speech is ugly speech (09:50)
• If you’re in a relationship with a real, live human being, you’re going to have disagreements… and that’s totally fine. (12:45)
• Don’t make excuses—apologize like a mofo (14:44)
• Your weekly LoveByte (24:29)

Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!

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