How To Drop The People-Pleaser’s Worst Habit

Social Skills Coaching

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00:05:12 Tip 1: Just Keep Quiet Really.

00:05:49 Tip 2: Show Your Compassion And Kindness ... Just In A Different Way

00:07:00 Tip 3: Train A Different Automatic Response

00:08:07 Tip 4: Change Apology Into Gratitude

00:09:12 Tip 5: Speak Plainly

00:10:45 Tip 6: Reframe Your Idea Of Politeness

00:12:27 Tip 7: Imperfect Is Not Wrong

00:13:34 Tip 8: Discern What Is In Your Zone Of Control

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• People-pleasers often engage in self-sabotaging behavior: over-apologizing. This happens for many reasons, most commonly low self-esteem, the desire to please others, awkwardness and discomfort, conflict avoidance, anxiety, and perfectionism.

• To overcome over-apologizing, try to practice simply staying silent or expressing concern and compassion in different ways. You could also train out the “sorry habit” by expressing what you really mean to express—for example, gratitude. Don’t apologize for being imperfect, and reframe your idea of politeness so that it includes plain, honest, clear speech, which is always more truthful and assertive. Finally, don’t apologize for things that are outside your control.

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