Ep. 26 - Perfectionism Trauma

The End of the Day Podcast with Kari Watterson: Using Mindset Work to Live Your Best Life

The latest podcast episode (Ep. 26: Perfectionism Trauma) was borne out of multiple conversations with clients, and my own experience with crippling perfectionism.
A common statement among perfectionists or recovering perfectionists is: "I know what I need (or want) to do but I can't seem to get myself to do it."
Perfectionism can feel incredibly debilitating. Because perfectionists hold themselves up to impossibly high standards (typically requiring them to be perfect and flawless), mistakes are devastating and viewed as a personal failure.
And when every action has such high stakes, it's easy to see why perfectionism, anxiety and procrastination go hand-in-hand.
Typically, people who call themselves "recovering" perfectionists have experienced firsthand the devastation and fallout from bouts of extreme perfectionism, whether at work, school, or in the way they view their bodies. They're aware of the thoughts and behaviors that signal perfectionism and want to change, but often find themselves paralyzed and unable to take steps to counter their previous way of being.
In the book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk discusses how past trauma can have lasting, devastating effects on the body, unless addressed and healed.
The body remembers what it went through.
I'm willing to bet that anyone who has struggled with bouts of extreme perfectionism can readily recall the physical sensations of dread, stress, anxiety, fear, & extreme fatigue.
It makes sense, then, that the "resistance" many recovering perfectionists describe may be the mind/body's self-preservation mechanism protecting it from recreating harmful scenarios.
When we understand this, we can see how the first step isn't necessarily to find a better system so we can stop procrastinating, but to calm our nervous system and reassure it that we are, in fact, moving forward in a healthier, more nourishing and sustainable way.
In this episode, I walk you through a powerful self-worth exercise designed to help you shift your identity, validation and focus from the short-lived "fruit" to the more permanent, grounded "roots".
Doing this work will give you a visual reminder of your commitment to a new way of fueling your future growth and success.
With each step you take, you're retraining your mind (and body) to learn and memorize this new way of being and succeeding.

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Cited in this episode
Book:
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.
Podcast episode:
Ep. 15: Talking Perfectionism with Gaby Kogut
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Original intro/outro music by JMW.
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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [e-mail] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.
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Instagram: @kari_mindsetcoach