Episode 2.11 Jay A Widower and Now Mindset Coach

The Solo Dad Podcast

Content warning: this episode talks about suicide and parental/spouse death.

“It's not the loss that causes your pain. It's your thoughts and feelings about it,” says Jay Deutsch, who joins the podcast, serendipitously, on the birthday of his late wife, Larissa. Her battles with depression ultimately lead to her taking her own life, leaving Jay a widower with two young children. He discusses the effects and consequences that grief had on himself and his children.

After an encounter with Larissa at her gravesite, and later with a woman he described as his “twin flame,” Jay underwent a major spiritual epiphany and set a brand new course in life. He began to learn about Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and the power of using positive self-talk to change one’s thought patterns. Jay uses this and other techniques in his mission to help others deal with their grief, by way of his work as a mindset coach.

We all have the same power to heal ourselves by learning to change the way we think. Jay and Matt discuss the different schools of thought on the nature of depression, the benefits and limitations of grief counseling, and whether grief and happiness can coexist.

Quotes

“Neuroscience says that only 5% of disease is actually hereditary. And the other 95% is caused by environmental and emotional influences. And basically, all of our thoughts are just electrical impulses in the brain, whether they're positive or negative. And the brain then sends a chemical cocktail into the body to create a feeling. So everything that we feel in life is based on our thoughts.” ( 6:51-7:18 | Jay)

“I see a lot of time, people, once they lose their soulmate, they say things like, ‘I can't wait to be with them again. I give up on life. I'm never going to be happy again. I'm never going to be in love again.’ And when our kids see us thinking and saying these things, they feel a sense of impending doom for themselves.” (46:56-47:14 | Jay)

“Grief is defined as the suffering due to the loss of a loved one. I'm not suffering. It would be like comparing starvation to hunger. If you're suffering from starvation, you're gonna die. If you're hungry, you’ve got days to go before you're dying. Grab a sandwich. Grief is starvation for the person you lost.” (1:19:16-1:19:46 | Jay)

Links

Connect with Jay Deutsch:
https://selfloveandmindsetcoach.com/about-me/

Books we mention:

The Power of Now: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808/ref=asc_df_1577314808/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312400961658&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11870482438097544855&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9016182&hvtargid=pla-432561979413&psc=1

The Untethered Soul:

https://www.amazon.com/The-Untethered-Soul-audiobook/dp/B006KZ8EBQ/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=unthered.+soul.+book+author+michael+singer&qid=1666241221&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIyLjU0IiwicXNhIjoiMi40MyIsInFzcCI6IjIuNTgifQ%3D%3D&s=books&sprefix=unther%2Cstripbooks%2C80&sr=1-4

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