Episode 133--BYE! HIATUS 2021 EPISODE

Childless not by Choice

Hello, and welcome to episode 133 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

In this week's episode, we will discuss...

1. No new episodes for October and November, back in December.

2) 1x1 conversations with me.

3) If you have not already done so...

But first...

Thank you Patreon contributors:

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Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

• No new episodes for October and November, back in December.

I believe this is my third year taking October and November off. As many of you know, my mom passed in May 2019, but by August or September, I was drowning in grief. If I remember correctly it was about that time I decided to take a look at the possibility of taking some time off from podcasting. That two-month break helped so much I decided to continue doing it.

But I am going to be forthcoming with you from a podcaster’s point of view: when I first decided to take this break, I thought about the fact that taking two months off annually would keep me from achieving a higher number of podcast episodes. You know, six years in, and having started out with two episodes per month, I should be closer to 200 episodes at this point.

But as quickly as the thought entered my mind, I deleted it! The thought had to go. I could not afford to allow ego and comparing myself to other podcasts and podcasters to affect my decision to think about my mental health. I believe when we pay attention to where we are mentally and emotionally, and adjust accordingly, we show up in a healthy way to the world, to our world; and to the tasks, we signed up for as well as the tasks we have been assigned.

I know I talked last episode about mental health, but unless I got this absolutely wrong, incorrect; I believe all seven billion plus of us continue to be in a stressful and tiring place. Maybe not all the time or all at once, but this world is in a difficult place right now.

I don’t know about you, but globally it feels like things are happening one thing right after the other. We will have to make the individual decision as to what we take on and what we keep at bay. And the list can be fluid, every day is not the same. But we have to put some thought into our daily decisions. That is how I believe we protect our mental health without feeling guilty.

Examples include:

• cutting down on how much news we ingest. Being in the know by watching the news is not bad, it's how much we take in that can be bad. I am guilty of too much news. I will admit it right now. Some people consume news all day and it does not seem to bother them. But they want to talk to you about it and maybe you just don’t want to hear it.

Now when the news started to bother me on another level, and that started right around...now. Go figure. I decided to do more reading and less news consumption. We have to pay attention to when things take a turn inside our heads and our hearts. We have to be that in tune. For some, it may take work, but for others, and I believe those of us who are introverts, we know almost before it happens when our heart and our mind are turning a corner. And we say ‘OK, that’s it, no more...news, negative conversation, negative thoughts…’ etc. And you do this without feeling guilty or necessarily making those around you feel bad. It can be done. Which kinda leads to...

• balancing helping others and maintaining our peace and downtime. You’ve heard the term: ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup.’ Some of us are caring for others, some do so in a professional capacity. Either way, try to find some time to take a break. Even if it is an hour at your local coffee shop or sitting out on your patio taking a nap. We all need a minute. Don’t be afraid to take the minute. Oh, and the beach. Don’t forget the beach. As much as I talk about it, I only got to go once this summer. The second time I decided to go, it started pouring rain. Any whoo...take a moment for you. Next...

• Try not to internalize things. I believe many times we internalize things we believe are our fault, but even if the issue is our fault, internalizing is not healthy. Find a way to manage issues without taking everything to heart. It will help maintain your heart health. If you can make things right with the person you may be at odds with, try. If they don’t want to, at least you know you tried. And remind yourself, no one is perfect. Not even you.

I have looked back on situations and wished I had not said something or wished I had apologized right away, but if that’s not how the situation worked out, know that you did the best you could with the situation, and try to handle things better the next time. This is for those of you, like me, who like to beat yourselves up. Trust me. I know. But what I also know is that there is not one single perfect human on this planet. Some pretend they are. They may even come after you like they are perfect, forgetting that just yesterday they made a mess. Do the best you can, always. Keep your heart in the right place, and remember: There is no perfect human. And...

• Don’t be afraid to ask for help. To get help. Which segues nicely into the next topic.

• If you would like to have a 1x1 conversation with me about issues you may be having around your childlessness, go to the Shop page.

Click the link for 1x1 sessions, and follow the directions.

Please note there is a non-refundable fee for this service. I believe that talking things out helps quite a bit and I look forward to speaking with you. But please note: I am not a licensed therapist.

I am a person who has run the gamut of feelings from deep sadness, dare I say depression, as I watched my life not turn out the way I expected it to turn out. To arrive at a place I did not expect to be, never even knowing such a place existed. Then coming to terms with my childlessness, and the way my life turned out. I believe talking about that journey helps quite a bit.

1. So, just a few more things...If you have not already done so:

• Please take the survey. There is a link here in the show notes, as well as in the Facebook group.
• Please also leave a rating and or a review for the show. You can do so at Apple Podcast or within any app on which you listen.
• If you have episode ideas, please email them to me at [e-mail], or Messenger me. Feel free to do so even during my hiatus.
• I will be back in December with a fresh new episode. If you are in the U.S. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I really do not know what Thanksgiving will look like this year as we continue to battle this crazy virus. But wherever in the world you are, please stay safe. And remember what I always say about family gatherings, whether they are in person or on Zoom, you can leave when you are good and ready. You do not need to accept disrespect. Remember, people treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Kind but firm boundaries. Practice them, and take care of yourself!

See you in December!

Items of interest:

https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/episode-86-longing-for-motherhood-holding-onto-hope-in-the-midst-of-childlessness-my-interview-with-chelsea-patterson-sobolik

https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/episode-85-adenomyosis-in-april

Survey link:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfpPOQQq0a8gUuhnkuYZdi-RM7JKzbQWs3pw151I0LYSjQSNw/viewform?usp=sf_link

My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice