Poker, Mahjong, and Becoming Closer Friends Through a Game: Mark Oppenheimer

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

Episode 58: The value of poker, mahjong, and other games for making friends and getting closer with the friends you already have.

I’m a longtime fan today's guest, author and podcaster, Mark Oppenheimer, who spoke with me about the value of participating in a regular game with friends. In Mark's case, he has a longstanding poker game. I talked about mahjong. Bridge was a big part of my parents' social lives. There is something about a game with a regular group of players that is different from other ways we get together with friends. I'm excited that Mark, who recently wrote about his poker group, is here to talk about this topic with me.
And Mark’s next major book project is one I cannot wait to read. Judy Blume chose him to write her official biography. The story of how that came to be is in our episode. It’s a sweet friendship story—don’t miss it!
Show notes are HERE.
Meet Mark Oppenheimer

Mark Oppenheimer is head of open learning at American Jewish University. He received his Ph.D. in religious studies from Yale, covered religion for The New York Times for six years, has taught at Yale, NYU, Wellesley, and Stanford, and is the author of five books, most recently Squirrel Hill: The Tree of Life Synagogue Shooting and the Soul of a Neighborhood. He created the most downloaded American Jewish podcast ever, Unorthodox, with 7 million listens from 2015-2023, and also wrote and hosted Gatecrashers, a podcast about the history of Jews in the Ivy League. He is now writing the definitive biography of Judy Blume. He lives in Connecticut with his wife, five children, and two dogs.
Topics We Covered:

• Para-social friendships (I was in one with Mark until this episode. But now we might be friends!)
• How Mark became Judy Blume’s official biographer
• Mark’s piece for his Substack, Oppenheimer, titled “Men Playing Poker: A Manifesto”
• Why men might be attracted to poker
• The special ritual of getting together for a game with friends
• The importance of spending time with friends in-person, on a regular basis.
• The joy of mahjong
• What happened to bridge?
• Chess
• Why my reading list is 90% female writers
• Why we both read more nonfiction than fiction

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