Episode 250 - Chandler's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

After Maxine's son, 19-year-old Chandler, died when his truck caught on fire 7 months ago, she knew that there was no way that she could get through even one day without God's help. Maxine says that she 'fell to her knees and thanked God for every second that she got to be Chandler's Mom.' After walking beside her sister after losing her 14-year-old son nine years before, Maxine had an idea of how painful this journey of child loss was going to be. She also knew that after all the prayers for her sister and encouraging her sister's faith, she needed to do the same for herself.

Witnessing her sister's grief certainly helped Maxine gain insight as to what life was going to be like moving forward. In some ways, I'm sure that was scary for Maxine. She remembered witnessing her sister's pain. She knew that now, even 9 years later, her sister remains forever changed. Having that insight, however, was a motivator for Maxine to start working on her grief right away. She prayed for God to show her resources to help. She prayed before finding my podcast. Maxine emailed me soon after starting to listen and recently joined one of my virtual support groups.

Maxine's grief journey is the perfect example of how broken people do the best job of helping other broken people. As much as she loves and appreciates all of her friends and the help that they offer, Maxine says that in addition to her sister's help, her best help comes from listening to stories on the podcast and talking to other bereaved moms in our faith-based support group. Although a few months ago, we were all strangers, Maxine feels like she could not love them any more than if they were friends she had known for years.

Bereaved parents understand each other in ways that others can't and that understanding brings comfort. When Maxine says that although the pain sometimes feels unbearable, being Chandler's mom is worth every tear, every struggle, and all of the pain, we all nod through our tears. We all love our kids so much and would not give up a second of their lives to decrease our pain. Together, we can keep living each day.