S2 E3: What's Not Revealed; Cannot Be Healed with Marie Ruiz

Unspoken: Conversations with Candace

Marie Ruiz was born and raised in Racine, Wisconsin. She is a mother of seven children with a beautiful blended family. She attended the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater where she received her Bachelor’s Degree of Early Childhood Education and Special Education. She is now working at Planned Parenthood. In this episode, Marie joins us to talk about the journey she faced when her daughter was assaulted by someone close to the family.

Episode Highlights

7:15 Marie told her daughter a lot of important things that a person who’s been traumatized needs to hear instead of victim blaming.

11:03 Yes, there were signs and I didn't realize that at the time. I just thought, oh, this is my karma. I was a rebellious teenager, this is going to be my difficult child and I just thought it was something I would have to just enter and go through, but it was actually something much greater than I expected.

14:01 I feel abuse doesn't discriminate, right? It happens in all backgrounds, all cultures, different types of families. It's not just to girls, it's also to boys. You know, again, it’s like when you stay in silence, it’s such a heavy thing to carry and it is uncomfortable. Nobody wants to address these difficult conversations, but they have to be talked about, we have to educate.

19:12 Our next step was the next morning. I just looked for resources right away, and I connected with sexual assault services in Racine. And so even though during that time, it was very just dark and unsure and insecure and I just carried this very ugly feeling with me for a long time. I kind of felt like I was in a dark cloud and life was still going on around me but I didn't feel present. I didn't feel like I was living.

25:42 I found myself a lot of times when Marissa said that she didn't come out about it because she was protecting everyone, I felt that when I learned of what had happened, because I found myself protecting my children, protecting her at times from what I was really feeling or really going through. Protecting my husband, but in turn it really leaves you feeling very much alone.

34:18 Take your time and I commend you for being honest, because this is very honest, and raw and real, that you were taking us through the pain, the pain and the suffering and how you probably didn't want to leave your house. You probably weren't comfortable going out in public. You probably were scared and fearful and again, living in that cloud that you talked about, that's a hard place to be in, and to know the fear of the unknown what's really going to happen.

40:25 I did turn back to my faith. I started going to church more, praying more, creating that space where I could connect with him and I started thinking more about the bigger picture and less about the problem at hand and that's kind of a turning point for me personally. It was where I started to put myself in a more positive direction.

Contact Info:

Marie Ruiz

BeLEAF Survivors, Inc.

Professional Services Group and Community Impact Programs

Planned Parenthood of WI

Candace Sanchez

Facebook

Instagram

Buy the book “Unspoken”
Purchase Your Own Unspoken Swag