Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps: Insecure in Love

Thoughts on Record: Podcast of the Ottawa Institute of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

Challenges related to attachment in relationships - especially in the context of romantic relationships - can evoke very strong emotions and behavioral urges that can often backfire, sometimes causing the very thing we fear most; namely, the dissolution of a relationship. Psychologist, author, speaker & teacher, Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps joins us for a discussion of her latest release, The Insecure In Love Workbook. In this discussion we cover:

• what inspired Dr. Becker-Phelps to write The Insecure in Love Workbook and the clinical realties of this challenge that she had in mind when constructing her approach
• a brief overview attachment and how it relates to our relationships
• how early life experiences influence our attachment styles in adulthood
• differentiating between normal relationship challenges and issues stemming from insecure attachment patterns
• the most common self-defeating patterns that people engage in when an attachment feels threatened
• the critical importance of self-awareness in managing issues related to attachment
• Dr. Becker-Phelps' STEAM model (5 domains of self-awareness: Sensations, Thoughts, Emotions, Actions, Mentalizing)
• helping clients navigate challenges related to self-acceptance and compassionate self-awareness
• what determines sustainable compatibility
• whether it is healthy to accommodate or even “give in” to one’s attachment style
• navigating an intense attraction to someone from the lens of attachment
• the line between co-regulation & subjugation/unhealthy accommodation in a relationship

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Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps is dedicated to helping people understand themselves and what they need to do to become emotionally and psychologically healthy. She is in private practice, hosts a YouTube channel, and is a prolific writer. She has authored The Insecure in Love Workbook, Insecure in Love, and Bouncing Back from Rejection. She also writes the Authentically You blog and the Making Change blog on Psychology Today.
To learn more about Dr. Becker-Phelps, visit www.drbecker-phelps.com