Brad Kearns: Parenting Tips - Refraining From Praise, Being A Traffic Cop, And Keeping Your Ego In Check

The B.rad Podcast

I saw my friend the other day, asked “How are you doing?” and he said: “I’m trying to be a better parent.” What a cool answer!

The quip alone speaks volumes about his desire to do the best he can, and his self-awareness as he makes his best effort to raise toddlers. We ended up having a whole conversation about parenting as he began self-reflecting and spoke about patterns from his own childhood, his desire to avoid undesirable ones and model favorable ones, and how his peers kept him in check with great effectiveness. I told him I’d email him my all-time favorite parenting article, “The Power (and Peril) of Praising Your Kids: How Not to Talk To Your Kids”, and share my favorite insights about parenting young ones, as my kids are now 26 and 24, and this conversation ended up being the inspiration for today’s episode.

It doesn’t matter how old your kids are—there are great takeaways for all parents in this show (as well as prospective parents) about things like overparenting and the importance of observing cultural norms and perhaps choosing to do things your way, instead of merely following others, while still acknowledging that some circumstances require a very delicate balance (like “helping” your kids with their homework or college admission essays). I also discuss the idea that we actually have less influence than we think on our kids destiny, why it is more effective to praise the effort they make, rather than the results they receive, and the importance of realizing that while we do have a distinct ability to screw our kids up, their positives and successes will largely be self-directed.

TIMESTAMPS:

To learn how to parent, we look at what we learned in our own childhood….what was good and what was not so good. [00:56]

It seems like kids are over-parented these days. [03:54]

These days if a kid gets a B in high school, their chances of being accepted at university are slim. [07:06]

Commercials during the Olympics showed different attitudes from parents regarding sports. Never give up on finding what you love. [08:56]

Parents have way less influence than we think on our kids' destiny. [12:54]

Give the kids opportunities and then stand back. [15:45]

You do not really need to praise results. You praise effort toward improvement. [20:25]

Be like your kid’s traffic cop. [27:11]

The kids can possibly be involved in the decision-making regarding rules and consequences. [30:47]

LINKS:

• Brad Kearns.com
• Brad’s Shopping page
• B.rad When Protein Isolate Superfuel
• B.rad Superfruits
• The Inverse Power of Praise
• Mindset

Join Brad for more fun on:

Instagram: @bradkearns1

Facebook: @bradkearnsjumphigh

Twitter: @bradleykearns

YouTube: @brad.kearns

TikTok: @bradkearns

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